The monastery road

Br. James Thin Place Questionnaire

2012-01-24T05:00:00.000-05:00

When I (Br. Bernard) edit the Mundi, I rely on my brothers to provide content. I suggest ideas of articles. I aim to fill the Mundi with just enough valuable material to fill the 16 pages I have at my disposal. And then sometimes the news cycle gets ahead of me and I need to trim material to make place for important time-sensitive content. It's a nicer problem to have than not enough content...
However, there are some nice pieces that don't see the printing plant that way. Whenever I feel they have enough intrinsic value for publication but no "shelf life" until the next Mundi issue, I publish them on this blog and make a reference to it in the print copy.

As a conversation-opener, we are using with interviewees as a warm-up to the main interview. It takes the form of an exercise Victorians enjoyed and that was brought back in use by TV interviewers such as James Lipton, the host of "Inside the Actors Studio." Lipton had noted French TV's Bernard Pivot use of the so-called Proust Questionnaire with guests to his cultural magazine "Apostrophes." The format requires spur of the moment answers and we try to edit them as little as possible to maintain that quality.

Following are Br. James' answers to the "Thin Place Questionnaire".

1. How long have you been a monk? A little over 5 years.

2. What is your favorite word? Jesus. Hideously pious, I know.

3. Where have you been stationed as a monk? West Park, 6 months in Santa Barbara at the old Mount Calvary monastery.

4. What does the word “spirituality” evoke for you? Freedom for the faith journey. I'm not all upset about the distinction between spirituality and religion. They are related.

5. What is your favorite office of the Divine Office? What is its appeal to you? I love them all. It's probably matins. Starting the day with the entire community in prayer. Greeting the sunrise. We choose to open our day that way. And I particularly love the Benedictus.

6. If you could ask God a question, what would it be? Why is there so much suffering on such a wide scale? I actually ask God questions regularly.

7. Whom amongst the brothers of West Park have you lived with the longest? Brs. Bernard, Scott, Ron, Bede. They were all here when I entered the monastery.

8. What sound or noise do you love? The bell ringing.

9. Who was the most influential Holy Cross Brother on your vocation? Anything in particular you wish to share about that brother? During my first years as monk, Br. Reginald Crenshaw (now stationed at Holy Cross Priory, Toronto, Ontario). In the course of my novitiate and juniorate, I had a formation commmunity that was influential for me. It comprised Joseph Brown, Bernard Delcourt, Randy Greve, Daniel Ludik and Rob Magliula. In my juniorate, Br. Andrew was also influential on my vocation.

10. Name a book that changed you. The gospels of Luke and John. In non-scripture, "Open Mind, Open Heart" by Thomas Keating, and "The Interior Castle" by Teresa of Avila.

11. What is your favorite passage of the gospel? Luke 11:1. It is when Jesus teaches the Lord's prayer.

12. What do you like about the age we live in? In our part of the world, the freedom to really explore God. We can explore religious traditions across denominations and faith lines. At long last, this will point people to Christ. But in a way that is not dictated by others.

13. Who is your favorite saint? It's a tie between the Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph. I really love them both.

14. Is there a mentor that keeps popping up in your prayers? My Grandmother, on my mother's side, Cecilia Petrolia. My Dad, Joseph Dowd.

15. What is your favorite color? Where do you most enjoy it? Blue. In the sky, if we ever see blue sky again...

16. What would you like to hear upon entering Heaven? Welcome!

17. Do you have hobbies? The hobby I do now (on Sunday night or Monday) is listening to popular music of the 60's thru the 80's. Popular music is more informative to me than one might think.
Br. James' last sermon, in Advent, bore that out. It drew from lyrics and songs by Paul Mc Cartney and Joan Baez.

18. Have you recently read a book or watched a movie that touched you as a monk? Yes, I just finished it Monday. "Reading in the Dark" by Seamus Deane. Written 15 yrs ago by this Irish writer (raised in Northern Ireland). A young boy who grows into manhood during the postwar "troubles" when British oppression was particularly brutal. The assault on the fabric of an individual and a family's life and how that could rip somebody apart.

19. Do you have a favorite hymn? "I the Lord of sea and sky" (# 812 in the ECUSA hymnal). I used it in my clothing, initial and life profession. And would like it at my funeral (note taken).

20. Is there a prayer you often use and would like to share? The Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on Me, a Sinner."

21. What is a spot in the Mid-Hudson Valley that you love to return to? Returning to the Monastery is always special. The moment I turn into the driveway, I know I have returned to a thin place.

22. What part of being a monk appeals to you most for the moment? The daily Eucharist and the Divine Office.

23. What part of being a monk has proven the hardest through the years? Adjustment to a lack of worldly freedoms. Being subject to a community's need and constraints. Prior to entering as a well-off single man, I did not have to count with that. Giving that up, I would say is the hardest.

Wishing you a Blessed Christmas

2011-12-25T12:23:00.001-05:00

A return visitor keeps a blog on his stay here for Christmas with lots of pictures and details of how things are proceeding. You might like having a vicarious Monastery Christmas by following George's blogging. I keep commenting on his blog whenever I think I might add some relevant information to his very good reporting.

May the joy of God's presence in our lives touch you richly this Christmastide. Peace!

Today I preached and tinkered with our website

2011-10-23T14:08:00.003-05:00

What does your favorite box for the divine look like? Are you succeeding in keeping God there?
You can find my sermon for this 19th Sunday after Pentecost our Holy Cross Sermons blog.

I have also updated the look of the Sermons blog and that of my own blog. I like the uncluttered look of this new format (all the sidebar gizmos are gone...) and the easier access to a wider scope of content. I hope you and our other readers will like it too.

I've also updated the home page to our website to alert people to new downloadable resources (the 2012 Ordo and the September issue of our Mundi newsletter which I edit).

More and more young people discover us through our web presence. Not a few end up staying at our Guesthouse and experiencing the monastic life first-hand. It's a great joy to reach out in that way.

This next week, I'm headed to Brewster, NY for a 3 day retreat at the Sisters of the Holy Spirit's Bluestone farm. Yes, monks sometimes need time away from home too...

Br. Scott's Thin Place Questionnaire

2011-09-30T02:00:00.000-05:00

Picture credit: George R. at his George Visits Holy Cross blog

Scott’s Thin Place Questionnaire* - Saturday, July 9, 2011

1.How long have you been a monk?
Br. Bonnell Spencer, OHC said you know you are a monk when you are buried in a habit. I entered the monastery 10 years ago.

2.What is your favorite word?
Ice cream (editor’s note; Br. Scott was interviewed a couple of hours before the ice cream social with our Associates)

3. Where have you been stationed as a monk?
Almost all thetime, here at West Park. And for 6 months during my novitiate, in Toronto.

4. What does the word “spirituality” evoke for you?
(Chuckle). It evokes a chuckle. It’s interesting. It has good and bad invocations. Because it gets tossed around in a really light way in modern society. And at its worst, spirituality means this sort of free-floating relentless unformed kind of thing. But I think spirituality in the Christian tradition is really the relationship with that part of the the Trinity with the Holy Spirit which is the Universal.

5. What is your favorite office of the Divine Office? What is its appeal to you?
It changes dayby day. In general, it would probably be Vespers. It’s when I’m most prepared for it. It falls at a very good time of theday for me.

6. If you could ask God a question, what would it be?
(Chuckle). If I could really ask God one question, itwould be “What if any, is the proper use of force in the Kingdom of God.”

7. Whom amongst the brothers of West Park have you lived with the longest?
Br. Ronald was here when I entered and Br. Bede (currently on sabbatical). It seems it’s always the same number of people who live here in community. And yet, when you look at it, there has been a lot of change within that group of people in 10 years.

8. What sound or noise do you love?
Pipe organ, choral music, cat purring.

9. Who was the most influential Holy Cross Brother on your vocation? Anything in particular you wish to shareabout that brother?
Br. Andrew. He has an ability to ask very direct questions. The first very direct question he asked me on my first visit here was “Have you ever considered a monastic vocation?” And my answer was generic but interested And he said “Well, just keep that question in the back of your mind."

10. Name a book that changed you.
Long ago, I read a wonderful piece of science-fiction writing by Samuel R Delany. And the name of the book is “Dhalgren” which is an obscure dystopian novel. And it was really my first encounter with non-linear story-telling that still engaged me. It was just a startling book in a number of ways, at a time when I needed to be startled. I haven’t read it again since. And I can’t seem to find it now.

11. What is your favorite passage of the gospel?
That would also tend to change. But for some time now, Ithink I have been relentlessly drawn the birth narrative in the gospel of Luke.

12. What do you like about the age we live in?
(Chuckle). What I like best and what I like least areprobably going to be a reflection of the same thing. We have access to multiple centuries of musicand writing and thought. And especially for music, you can sit down and can hear music of different centuries; saymusic from the seventh century and music of the 21^st in the same sitting, at the click of a few computer keys. It’s something that’s only been widely possible for a few decades.And the ability to span time and distance, to reach out to someone new over the internet. You can make somebody’s acquaintance electronically and actually build a friendship out of that. There is a collapsing of time and place differences.We can access accumulated wisdom. For instance, you can read the Rule of Benedict and then you can read 1500 years worth of comment on Benedict.

13. Who is your favorite saint?
St Columba,… Or John Wesley; we don’t necessarily put “saint” before his name but he’s a favorite of mine.

14. Is there a mentor that keeps popping up in your prayers?
Well, certainly my spiritual director, Don Bisson, FMS. Hardly a day goes by that he doesn’t insert himself in my thoughts, oneway or another.

15. What is your favorite color? Where do you most enjoy it?
Blue. Probably in the sky.

16. What would you like to hear upon entering Heaven?
(Chuckle). There is this wonderful story about Sibelius,a 19^th century Romantic composer who wrote this huge symphonic work. His dream of heaven was that uponpassing the pearly gates, he would hear God’s orchestra playing his own third symphony. The hubris of it boggles themind. It always struck me as funny. I guess what I’d really like to hear when I enter heavens is voice saying “Welcome Home.”

17. Do you have hobbies?
Choral music is a huge hobby of mine. I’m not a big hobby person. I have a lot of practical interests and I enjoy things I also do for work.

18. Have you recently read a book or watched a movie that touched you as a monk?
Last couple of years, “Sex and the Single Savior: Gender and Sexuality in BiblicalInterpretation” by Dale B. Martin (Woolsey Professor of Religious Studies andDirector of Graduate Studies at Yale University).

19. Do you have a favorite hymn?
If I could only choose one hymn, it would have to be “O for a thousand tongues to sing my redeemer’s praise” ((Words: Charles Wesley, 1739. Music: Carl Gläser, 1828.). It’s the first hymn in the Methodist hymnal(Br. Scott’s denomination of origin). Charles Wesley for hymn texts and Vaughn Williams for hymn music.

20. Is there a prayer you often use and would like to share?
There is nothing short enough to share here. I most often come back to a series of sacred sonnets, the “Nayler Sonnets”, by Kenneth Boulding (available from Pendle Hill, a Quaker publishing house).

21. What is a spot in the Mid-Hudson Valley that you love to return to?
The Monastery. Limiting this question to the Mid-HudsonValley is a curious concept. I love LakeTear of the Clouds, near Mount Marcy (in Essex County; one of the highestsources of the Hudson).

22. What part of being a monk appeals to you most for the moment?
The transformation in community. Individual and communal; you can’t isolate either of those.

23. What part of being a monk has proven the hardest through the years?
The transformation in community.

*****
* When I (Br. Bernard) edit the Mundi, I rely on my brothers to provide content. I suggest ideas of articles. I aim to fill the Mundi with just enough valuable material to fill the 16 pages I have at my disposal. And then sometimes the news cycle gets ahead of me and I need to trim material to make place for important time-sensitive content. It's a nicer problem to have than not enough content...
However, there are some nice pieces that don't see the printing plant that way. Whenever I feel they have enough intrinsic value for publication but no "shelf life" until the next Mundi issue, I publish them on this blog and make a reference to it in the print copy.
As a conversation-opener, we are using with interviewees as a warm-up to the main interview. It takes the form of an exercise Victorians enjoyed and that was brought back in use by TV interviewers such as James Lipton, the host of "Inside the Actors Studio." Lipton had noted French TV's Bernard Pivot use of the so-called Proust Questionnaire with guests to his cultural magazine "Apostrophes." The format requires spur of the moment answers and we try to edit them as little as possible to maintain that quality.

Peace Vigil - Saturday, June 18, 2011

2011-06-17T20:00:00.000-05:00

Every month, our community gathers in intentional prayer for peace on the third Saturday of the month. In rotation, a member of our community stays in silent prayer in the church from 7 a.m. to noon. Guests and visitors are encouraged to join us in prayer. Please pray for peace with us wherever you are.

The following collect is part of the matins office and noonday office on that Prayer Vigil:

Creator God, Prince of Peace, Holy One: We come before you today with deep sadness over the warfare that violates your creation in many parts of our world. We commend to you all the men, women and children who have lost their lives in acts of violence. We ask you to teach the people and the leaders of nations to work for peace throughout the world.

We long for peace, Lord Christ, and so we ask you to forgive us for those times when we have engaged in hatefulness and ways of violence. Transform us that we may better serve your will. Renew our faith that we may better work for the coming of your Kingdom. And grant us your peace that we may live together in praise of your Holy Name. Amen.

Prayer List for Saturday, June 18, 2011

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Iraq in the last month:

Matthew England, 22, Gainesville, Missouri,
Emilio Campo, 20, Madelia, Minnesota,
Christopher Fishbeck, 24, Victorville, California,
Robert Hartwick, 20, Rockbridge, Ohio,
C. Olivieri, 26, Chicago, Illinois,
Michael Cook, 27, city undisclosed, Ohio,
Clifford Beattie, 37, Medical Lake, Washington,
Ramon Mora, 19, Ontario, California,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the 316 Iraqi citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month.

Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Afghanistan in the last month:

Sean O'Connor, 22, Douglas, Wyoming,
Joshua McDaniels, 21, Dublin, Ohio,
Michael Newton, 30, Newport News, Virginia,
Jason Hill, 20, Poway, California,
Matthew Richard, 21, Acadia, Louisiana,
Nicholas O'Brien, 21, Stanley, North Carolina,
William Woitowicz, 23, Middlesex, Massachusetts,
Joseph Garrison, 27, New Bethlehem, Pennsylvania,
J. Gaudet Bradley, 31, Gladewater, Texas,
Kenneth White, 35, Fort Collins, Colorado
Devin Snyder, 20, Cohocton, New York,
Christopher Roger Bell, 21, Golden, Mississippi,
Joshua Powell, 28, Quitman, Texas,
Robert Voakes, 21, L'Anse, Michigan,
Paul Zanowick, 23, Miamisburg, Ohio,
Jeffrey Sherer, 29, Four Oaks, North Carolina,
Richard Emmons, 22, North Granby, Connecticut,
Peter Clore, 23, New Philadelphia, Ohio,
Anthony Nunn, 19, Burnet, Texas,
Aaron Blasjo, 25, Riverside, California,
Martin Apolinar, 28, Glendale, Arizona,
Joseph Schultz, 36, Port Angeles, Washington,
Brandon Kirton, 25, Centennial, Colorado,
David Self, 29, Pearl, Mississippi,
Bradley Melton, 29, Melton, Missouri,
Lamarol Tucker, 26, Gainesville, Florida,
Cheziray Pressley, 21, North Charleston, South Carolina,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the many Afghan citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month. Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the tens of thousands of physically and / or mentally injured troops and civilians.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the families and friends of all those who have been killed or injured.

(Silence)

Let us pray for peace in Iraq and Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, Palestine, Lybia, Syria, Yemen and throughout all of God's creation.

(Silence)

Let us also pray for the victims of violent deaths anywhere.

Picture credit: abcme.com - This picture

Peace Vigil - Saturday, May 21, 2011

2011-05-21T06:30:00.000-05:00

Creator God, Prince of Peace, Holy One: We come before you today with deep sadness over the warfare that violates your creation in many parts of our world. We commend to you all the men, women and children who have lost their lives in acts of violence. We ask you to teach the people and the leaders of nations to work for peace throughout the world.

We long for peace, Lord Christ, and so we ask you to forgive us for those times when we have engaged in hatefulness and ways of violence. Transform us that we may better serve your will. Renew our faith that we may better work for the coming of your Kingdom. And grant us your peace that we may live together in praise of your Holy Name. Amen.

Prayer List for Saturday May 21, 2011

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Iraq in the last month:

Omar Vazquez, 25, Hamilton, New Jersey,
Antonio Stiggins, 25, Rio Rancho, New Mexico,
Micah Hill, 27, Ralston, Nebraska,
Vorasack Xaysana, 30, Westminster, Colorado,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the 424 Iraqi citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month.

Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Afghanistan in the last month:

Amaru Aguilar, 26, Miami, Florida,
Benjamin Palmer, 43, Modesto, California,
Demetrius Frison, 26, Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
Ken Hermogino, 30, Edwards Air Force Base, California,
Riley Spaulding, 21, Sheridan, Texas,
Kevin White, 22, Westfield, New York,
Preston Dennis, 23, Redding, California,
Matthew Hermanson, 22, Appleton, Wisconsin,
Adam Jones, 29, Germantown, Ohio,
Jonathan Villanueva, 19, Jacksonville, Florida,
Philip Ambard, 44, Edmonds, Washington,
Jeffrey Ausborn, 41, Gadsden, Alabama,
David Brodeur, 34, Auburn, Massachusetts,
Tara Brown, age unpublished, Deltona, Florida,
Frank Bryant, 37, Knoxville, Tennessee,
Raymond Estelle, 40, New Haven, Connecticut,
Nathan Nylander, 35, Hockley, Texas,
Charles Ransom, 31, Midlothian, Virginia,
Joe Jackson, 22, White Swan, Washington,
Bradley Hughes, 41, Newark, Ohio,
David Day, 26, Gaylord, Michigan,
Robert Friese, 21, Chesterfield, Michigan,
Andrew Lara, 25, Albany, Oregon,
Benjamin Bitner, 37, Greencastle, Pennsylvania,
James Justice, 32, Grimes, Iowa,
Terry Varnadore, 29, Hendersonville, North Carolina,
Dominic Ciaramitaro, 19, South Lyon, Michigan,
Sean Callahan, 23, Warrenton, Virginia,
Joshua McClimans, 30, Jamestown, Pennsylvania,
John Castro, 25, Andrews, Texas,
John Kihm, 19, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,
Sonny Moses, 22, Koror, Palau,
Joel Ramirez, 22, Waxahachie, Texas,
Charles Wren, 25, Beeville, Texas,
Paul Atim, 27, Green Bay, Wisconsin,
Charles Ridgley, 40, Baltimore, Maryland,
Charles Adkins, 36, Sandusky, Ohio,
Cynthia Taylor, 39, Columbus, Georgia,
Linda Pierre, 28, Immokalee, Florida,
Joseph Cemper, 21, Warrensburg, Missouri,
Joseph Kennedy, 25, St. Paul, Minnesota,
Donald Nichols, 21, Shell Rock, Iowa,
Brent Maher, 31, Council Bluffs, Iowa,
Brandon Pickering, 21, Fort Thomas, Kentucky,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the many Afghan citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month. Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the tens of thousands of physically and / or mentally injured troops and civilians.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the families and friends of all those who have been killed or injured.

(Silence)

Let us pray for peace in Iraq and Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, Palestine, Lybia, Syria, Yemen and throughout all of God's creation.

(Silence)

Let us also pray for the victims of violent deaths anywhere.

Picture credit: Art.com - This picture

Br. Andrew's Thin Place Questionnaire

2011-05-15T12:22:00.009-05:00

When I Edit the Mundi, I rely on my brothers to provide content. I suggest ideas of articles. I aim to fill the Mundi with just enough valuable material to fill the 16 pages I have at my disposal. And then sometimes the news cycle gets ahead of me and I need to trim material to make place for important time-sensitive content. It's a nicer problem to have than not enough content...

However, there are some nice pieces that don't see the printing plant that way. Whenever I feel they have enough intrinsic value for publication but no "shelf life" until the next Mundi issue, I'll publish them on this blog and make a reference to it in the print copy.

**************

As a conversation-opener, we are using a conversation-opener in the form of an exercise Victorians enjoyed and that was brought back in use by TV interviewers such as James Lipton, the host of "Inside the Actors Studio." Lipton had noted French TV's Bernard Pivot use of the so-called Proust Questionnaire with guests to his cultural magazine Apostrophes. The format requires spur of the moment answers and we try to edit them as little as possible to maintain that quality.

Picture credit: George R.

at his George Visits Holy Cross blog

Andrew’s Thin Place Questionnaire

1. How long have you been a monk? 21 years. I came in on Holy Cross day of 1989.

2. What is your favorite word? Love

3. Where have you been stationed as a monk? Holy Cross Monastery, in West Park, NY (HCM) 1989-1990, Mt Calvary, in Santa Barbara, CA, 1990-1991, HCM 1991-1998, Mariya uMama weThemba, in Grahamstown, South Africa, 1998-2009, and now back at HCM..

4. What does the word “spirituality” evoke for you? Prayer.

5. What is your favorite office of the Divine Office? What is its appeal to you? Matins and Compline in equal parts.
Matins: wonderful way to be gathered together at the beginning of the day, rather than scurrying off somewhere first thing.
Compline: good way to finish the day with a finality, turning it over, giving the day back to God.
The NZ BCP what I’ve done, I’ve done today, what I haven’t done, I’m giving back to you.

6. If you could ask God a question, what would it be? Why?

7. Whom amongst the brothers of West Park have you lived with the longest? Brother Ronald Haynes.

8. What sound or noise do you love? I love the sound of my harp. There are so many sounds I love.

9. Who was the most influential Holy Cross Brother on your vocation? Anything in particular you wish to share about that brother? Brother Timothy Jolley. I love his devotion to the monastic Iife. And I love his humor. And I find him to be absolutely honest.

10. Name a book that changed you. The Bible. Besides the Bible, Frederic Buechner "Telling the Truth; the gospel as tragedy, comedy and fairy tale"

11. What is your favorite passage of the gospel? Matthew 25, the separation of the sheep and the goat. "When did we see you?"

12. What do you like about the age we live in? I like the ability to communicate with ease, to keep in touch with people, connection. Sometimes those same means give us trouble.
I also like that it's harder to be complacent than when I was young; you could hide from things more easily, pretend that everything was alright. You could pretend you didn't know about all the suffering in the world.

13. Who is your favorite saint? I love St Benedict.

14. Is there a mentor that keeps popping up in your prayers? My grandmother, Margaret (Maggy) Neilson.

15. What is your favorite color? Where do you most enjoy it? Blue. I like to wear it. I like it in nature; sky, water, mountains.

16. What would you like to hear upon entering Heaven? Hello! When I waled into AA for the first time. Some friends of mine were there and they pointed to a chair near them and said: We were saving this seat for you. I think Heaven is going to be like that.

17. Do you have hobbies? I play the Celtic harp. And I sing (for the moment, in Kairos).

18. Have you recently read a book or watched a movie that touched you as a monk? Vision of Hildegard of Bingen by Margarete Von Trotta. I saw it at Upstate Films in Rhinebeck with Br. Robert Sevensky.

19. Do you have a favorite hymn? A South African hymn in Xlosa that says the gates of heaven are opening. It's very joyful and they sing it at funerals. I love to hear Brother Josias Morobi sing it. And, King of Glory, King of Peace by George Herbert.

20. Is there a prayer you often use and would like to share? The Serenity Prayer from AA (Reinhold Niebhur).

21. What is a spot in the Mid-Hudson Valley that you love to return to? The Monastery.

22. What part of being a monk appeals to you most for the moment? The Community.

23. What part of being a monk has proven the hardest through the years? The Community

24. What is the missing question in this questionnaire? "What do you look forward to?"

25. What would be your answer to it? And I don't know what the answer is. It's an invitation onward. Each day is a promise.

Peace Vigil - Saturday April 16, 2011

2011-04-15T14:43:00.002-05:00

Creator God, Prince of Peace, Holy One: We come before you today with deep sadness over the warfare that violates your creation in many parts of our world. We commend to you all the men, women and children who have lost their lives in acts of violence. We ask you to teach the people and the leaders of nations to work for peace throughout the world.

We long for peace, Lord Christ, and so we ask you to forgive us for those times when we have engaged in hatefulness and ways of violence. Transform us that we may better serve your will. Renew our faith that we may better work for the coming of your Kingdom. And grant us your peace that we may live together in praise of your Holy Name. Amen.

Prayer List for Saturday April 16, 2011

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Iraq in the last month:

Michael Hinkle, 24, Corona, California,
Brandon Hocking, 24, Seattle, Washington,
Vorasack Xaysana, 30, Westminster, Colorado,
Gary Nelson, 20, Woodstock, Georgia,
Wesley Hinkley, 36, Carlisle, Pennsylvania,
Jorge Scatliffe, 32, St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands,
Quadi Hudgins, 26, New Orleans, Louisiana,
Christian Garcia, 30, Goodyear, Arizona,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the 199 Iraqi citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month.

Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Afghanistan in the last month:

Mecolus McDaniel, 33, Fort Hood, Texas,
Donald Mickler, 29, Bucyrus, Ohio,
Rudy Acosta, 19, Canyon Country, California,
Christopher Meis, 20, Bennett, Colorado,
Travis Tompkins, 31, Lawton, Oklahoma,
Justin Ross, 22, Green Bay, Wisconsin,
Vincent Filpi, 41, Fort Walton Beach, Florida,
Michael Mahr, 26, Homosassa, Florida,
Joshua Gire, 28, Chillicothe, Ohio,
James Malachowski, 25, Westminster, Maryland,
Dennis Poulin, 26, Cumberland, Rhode Island,
Ofren Arrechaga, 28, Hialeah, Florida,
Frank Adamski, 26, Moosup, Connecticut,
Jameson Lindskog, 23, Pleasanton, California,
Jeremy Faulkner, 23, Griffin, Georgia,
Dustin Feldhaus, 20, Glendale, Arizona,
Bryan Burgess, 29, Cleburne, Texas,
Jose Pietri, 32, Yauco, Puerto Rico,
Keith Buzinski, 26, Daytona Beach, Florida,
Jason Rogers, 28, Brandon, Mississippi,
Benjamin Rast, 23, Niles, Michigan,
Jeremy Smith, 26, Arlington, Texas,
Scott Burgess, 32, Franklin, Texas,
Michael Lammerts, 26, Tonawanda, New York,
Harry Lew, 21, Santa Clara, California,
Robert Welch, 26, Denton, Texas,

(Silence)

Let us pray for the many Afghan citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month. Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the tens of thousands of physically and / or mentally injured troops and civilians.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the families and friends of all those who have been killed or injured.

(Silence)

Let us pray for peace in Iraq and Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, Palestine, Lybia, and throughout all of God's creation.

(Silence)

Let us also pray for the victims of violent deaths anywhere.

Helping out to start a city farm in Kingston

2011-03-28T11:03:00.007-05:00

Last week, we were scheduled to have a Building Homes, Building Hope retreat based at the monastery. On such retreats, a group of guests and community members head out every morning after breakfast to go work on a Habitat for Humanity building site in the region.

Unfortunately, the weather would not cooperate last week and the building site work was called off all 3 days we were supposed to be there. I had kept checking the weather forecast several days before the due start of the retreat and I had seen this contingency coming. However, I wondered how our retreatants would react to shifting from building to farming...

Leone in the background, Bernard and Lori preparing vegetable beds to receive their top soil.

In the last 2 years, the monastery has looked into how to help our regional food system help feed the poorer members of our cities and villages. One program we started supporting last year is the Roundout Valley Growers Association's "Farm to Food Pantry" program where volunteers go glean on farmers fields after their main commercial harvest is completed and transfer the fresh produce or basically processed produce to local food pantries (over 30,000 lbs gathered in 2010). Watch out in our Guesthouse programs for a gleaning retreat this fall 2011.

Lately, we have become aware of the efforts of farmer Jesica Clark. With the help of several Kingston non-profit organizations, she is starting a community farm in the city of Kingston to support the programs of Queens Galley, a wonderful feeding program in the same city. The South Pine City Farm started laying down raised beds last November and is now gearing up into its first growing season.

So, on Wednesday 23 March, when we established around 9 a.m. that there would be no Habitat build that day, I called Jesica again and confirmed I had 4 bodies willing to work in order to warm up somewhat in the wintry mix that was coming down. Jesica was glad to put us to good use on the farm.

Lots and lots of wheelbarrows of composted horse manure later, a vegetable bed takes fom...

In the next 3 days, Leone, Lori, Ken and I moved huge amounts of composted horse manure and quality top soil to create the growing beds into which Jesica and friends will start helping Mother Nature feed her small family and the large "client base" of Queens Galley.

"Pride of Kingston" gardeners variety; Jesica, Bernard, Leone, Lori (Ken behind the camera).
Thank you Team, we did a great job!

Eventually, our aching bodies seemed to get into the groove of physical labor again. The weather improved markedly although it remained chilly. By Friday noon, we could really imagine vegetables growing there soon.

Ken, Jesica and Bernard rolling logs out of cultivation's way.
This one had to roll over a hump of frozen snow...

Ken and Leone, a couple from NYC, had brought their camera and shared their good pictures for me to show you some of our contributions to South Pine Street City Farm. You can also check farmer's Jesica Clark's blog on those days.

Watch out our Guesthouse programs for more volunteering opportunities based at the monastery in the months to come (library work, gardening, farming, building, re-cycling and the like).

And a heartfelt Thank You to Leone, Ken and Lori for having been pioneers on the farm and to Jesica for having started this useful endeavor.

Return to the Samaritan well of Sychar

2011-03-27T10:15:00.004-05:00

Today, I preached on the encounter between Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. It is a striking dialog between Jesus and an individual, possibly one of the longest in the gospels (I haven't checked).

When I prepared for this sermon, I realized I had preached on the same gospel three years ago on a mission to St Boniface, Sarasota, in Florida. As I re-read that sermon, I still pretty much liked what I had said at the time. And since my brothers hadn't heard it from my mouth yet, I decided I'd re-cycle it, and I re-worked the sermon to reflect my current connections to the text.

I you like to play the "seven errors" game, you can compare the 2008 and 2011 sermons to glimpse how this preacher's thinking and/or writing may have evolved.

I also enjoyed finding a new illustration for the blog. I quite like Richard Serrin's rendition of a wearied and non-magisterial Jesus (see 2o11 sermon link above).

I always have a bittersweet moment when I post my sermons to the web now. I used to anticipate a chat with my dad about what he thought about it. I'll have to do that chat in prayer now; not the same experience.

I hope signs of spring are accumulating around you too. Peace.

Peace Vigil - Saturday 19 February 2011

2011-02-15T15:58:00.003-05:00

Every month, our community gathers in intentional prayer for peace on the third Saturday of the month. In rotation, a member of our community stays in silent prayer in the church from 7 a.m. to noon. Guests and visitors are encouraged to join us in prayer. Feel free to pray for peace with us wherever you are.

The following collect is part of the matins office and noonday office on that Prayer Vigil:

Creator God, Prince of Peace, Holy One: We come before you today with deep sadness over the warfare that violates your creation in many parts of our world. We commend to you all the men, women and children who have lost their lives in acts of violence. We ask you to teach the people and the leaders of nations to work for peace throughout the world.

We long for peace, Lord Christ, and so we ask you to forgive us for those times when we have engaged in hatefulness and ways of violence. Transform us that we may better serve your will. Renew our faith that we may better work for the coming of your Kingdom. And grant us your peace that we may live together in praise of your Holy Name. Amen.

Prayer List for Saturday 19 February 2011

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Iraq in the last month:

Jose Torre, 21, California, Garden Grove
Michael Evarts, 41, Ohio, Concord
Michael Bartley, 23, Illinois, Barnhill
Martin Lamar, 43, California, Sacramento

(Silence)

Let us pray for the 205 Iraqi citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month.

Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for those American Troops who have died as a result of the war in Afghanistan in the last month:

Nathan Carse, 32, Ohio, Harrod
Aaron Swanson, 21, New Jersey, Jamestown
Patrick Carroll, 25, Ohio, Norwalk
Lucas Pyeatt, 24, Ohio, West Chester
Ryan Gartner, 23, New Jersey, Dumont
Omar Soltero, 28, Texas, San Antonio
Shawn Muhr, 26, Iowa, Coon Rapids
Joshua Campbell, 22, Colorado, Bennett
Anthony Venetz, 30, Virginia, Prince William
Leslie Williams, 36, Alaska, Juneau
Jason Amores, 29, Florida, Lehigh Acres
Amy Sinkler, 23, North Carolina, Chadbourn
Dominique Cruz, 26, Florida, Panama City
Joshua Lancaster, 22, Alabama, Millbrook
Omar Aceves, 30, Texas, El Paso
Zachary Salmon, 21, Ohio, Harrison
Evan Mooldyk, 47, California, Ranch Murieto
Zainah Creamer, 28, Texas, Texarkana
Jarrid King, 20, Pennsylvania, Erie
Benjamin Moore, 23, New Jersey, Robbinsville

(Silence)

Let us pray for the many Afghan citizens who died as a result of the war in the last month. Though we do not have their names, we nonetheless lift them to God.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the tens of thousands of physically and / or mentally injured troops and civilians.

(Silence)

Let us pray for the families and friends of all those who have been killed or injured.

(Silence)

Let us pray for peace in Iraq and Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, Palestine, and throughout all of God's creation.

(Silence)

Let us also pray for the victims of violent deaths anywhere.

The Monastery's table and chef featured on MyAuntMarty blog

2011-02-13T11:57:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday, my good friend Marty Rosen came to visit us for the day. Her purpose was to meet and hang out with our chef Edward Wolf in view of reporting about it on her latest endeavor, a blog entitled "My Aunt Marty - how we eat, what we grow, who we are."

We hadn't seen each other in a long while and had time to visit extensively. Marty is driven and achieves wonders in her active life, yet, she can slow down, focus, and be a wonderful empathetic listener. We shared our respective experiences of grieving and it was good. Thanks, Marty!

I introduced Marty to our chef and they connected over foodie stuff immediately. Eventually, I made myself scarce to let the cook and the reporter work their respective magic.

You can read Marty's report: "Eating in Silence."

A Joyful Winter Solstice

2010-12-21T19:02:00.005-05:00

Despite my being under the weather (chills, aching joints, scratchy throat and sluggishness), it's been a beautiful, joyous day today.

I managed to participate in this morning's meeting of the Order's Council (5 elected monks and the Superior) and this afternoon's Finance Committee of the Monastery (4 guys whose eyes don't glaze over at the sight of a balance sheet).

This morning, Council elected Brother James Michael Dowd to Life Profession. God willing, Jim will make his Life Profession of the Benedictine Vow at Holy Cross Monastery on Thursday 28 April 2011.

In the same meeting, Council elected Brother Charles Mizelle to Initial Profession of the annual Benedictine Vow.

I give thanks to God for these two Brothers and their ongoing conversion in the monastic way. Hurray!

The Finance Committee continued to look at balanced budget numbers showing a continued good fiscal discipline. It's been like that for about two years and it's a good thing to see that our stewardship of resources is paying off in ministry and conversion of life.

And then, there was an extravagant gift of chocolate truffles and fudge from a dear friend. The chocolates come from the Oregon Brigittine monks. I promise, I'm sharing those 18 boxes! I think my friend wants to hook the monks on the stuff so that it will be on sale in our Monk's Cell Book and Gift Shop next time she visits...

leading and preaching under the gaze of wise men

2010-11-07T15:06:00.010-05:00

This week-end I was leading a parish men's group in retreat and I was preaching. Both went very well.

The men's group was here for the first time and fairly new as a group. They had a great experience and seemed to bond meaningfully through the shared "down time".

I led them on the theme of "Who is not my neighbor? - building community from dinner-table to spaceship Earth" (an ongoing theological reflection for me). We had some good discussions and they tried their hand to Lectio Divina.

The sermon crept up on me before I even thought I was ready to write it. Uncharacteristically, I did not try to read all of my favorite commentaries on the texts. I quickly felt where I was drawn to teach and I followed my hunch.

Last Tuesday was All Souls Day and I had sent the memory card of Dad's funeral to Trinity Church Wall Street (NYC) where they had an altar displaying mementos of this past year's beloved departed of parishioners. Trinity is good to still consider me a parishioner six years after sending me off to my monastery. It's always a treat for me when Trinity parishioners come and spend time here at the monastery.

As a result, I dug up another picture of Dad to put on the bookshelf above the desk in my cell. I prepared the retreat and the sermon with Dad looking at me from beyond the tombstone of Teilhard de Chardin. Dad introduced me to Teilhard a few years ago. Teilhard speaks deeply to my soul.

While visiting me with Mom in 2006 on the occasion of my initial annual profession the Benedictine vow, we went with Sister Mary Klock to have a scrumptious meal at the Culinary Institute of America's Escoffier restaurant.

I had arranged for all of us to go pay our respects on Teilhard's tomb afterwards (the CIA's campus used to be a Jesuit seminary). The picture is "technically challenged" but because of it, the picture denotes an interesting chiaroscuro.

Paying our respects to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ,
in Poughkeepsie, in November 2006

It was good to do intellectual work with Teilhard and Dad watching over my shoulder this week. One of my most joyous moments recently was imagining the two of them in conversation in God's bosom.

Up to the beginning of this year, Dad would often check this blog and our sermons blog to see what I had been up to and would offer constructive criticism and share what Mom's reaction had been upon hearing him reading my sermon to her. Boy, do I miss those phone conversations, Dad... What did you think of this sermon?

And recently, my beloved niece Coline knew that it would be good to e-mail me pictures of my her grandad's newly installed tombstone. I chose and ordered the tombstone with my elder brother Benoit this past August while I was still in Belgium. Yes, it's a green (!) marble - my favorite color - but also was my brother's choice among many other marbles we looked at. It was uncanny how easily and wordlessly in agreement we were on just what would be right for Dad.

My Dad's tomb in the Blocry cemetery,
near Louvain-La-Neuve, Belgium, in October 2010
May light perpetual shine upon him.

Prayers used in this week's Prayerful Stitches retreat

2010-10-17T12:35:00.005-05:00

As promised to the participants in this past Prayerful Stitches retreat, here are the prayers I used in the sessions which I facilitated.

A picture from January 2010's Prayerful Stitches retreat.
From Br. Randy's Flickr Gallery.

a. "Nada te turbe" a prayer found in St Teresa of Avila's prayer book after her death, written in her own hand. The prayer became the inspiration for a Taize chant. I blogged about the prayer and the chant back in February 2009. In that blog entry, you'll find the full text of the Spanish prayer, my English translation, and a lovely, intimate YouTube video of the chant.

b. An alternative Lord's Prayer, from the New Zealand Book of Common prayer. I blogged about that prayer in July 2008. In that blog entry, you'll find the full text of it in English. I also had great fun translating it in French for my francophone friends in another entry.

c. A blessing for yarncrafters and their yarn projects.

May the light of your soul bless your yarn work with love and warmth of heart.

May you see in what you have wrought in yarn the beauty of your soul.

May the sacredness of your yarn work bring light and renewal to those who will see it, touch it, receive it, and wear it.

May your yarn work never deplete you of your God-given creativity.

May your yarn creations release wellsprings of comfort, wellness, healing and inspiration.

May you never become entangled in depreciation of your yarn craft.

May your enthusiasm for giving never unravel.

May your craft replenish you with the Love of the Creator of all, whose hands you have been in transforming yarn into self-giving.

May God’s blessing accompany you and your yarn work till the end of your skeins; in the name of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen

I composed this blessing under inspiration from a Celtic blessing about work, from John O'Donohue's book "To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings".

And as an extra, here is the video of Renate Hiller, the transcript of which I read to the retreat group.

Happy yarncrafting!

Avec le temps... With time...

2010-10-04T10:37:00.012-05:00

One of my favorite French songs is Léo Ferré's "Avec le temps". If you like jazz vocalists, seek out Abbey Lincoln's beautiful rendition of it (on her album "A Turtle's Dream"). Somehow her singing it with an American accent makes it all the more poignant for me.

It is an extremely bluesy song of existential angst. It speaks of time eroding all; love and memory. Definitely not a hopeful song though it seems to settle on the thought that once all is gone, all is well anyway. And so it is.

When I first heard Léo Ferré sing it live in the théâtre Jean Vilar of Louvain-La-Neuve as an adolescent, I was struck by its beauty. But the song stayed obscure to me; I could not fathom what Ferré was talking about.

In my late thirties, after my partner of nine years had left me and all of our common life abruptly, I heard it again. Ironically, my former partner and I had loved to listen to the Abbey Lincoln version. It also mimicked his own English-accented French. Suddenly, "Avec le temps" made so much more sense and I knew it from experience. Our desperate search for love and how hurtful and evanescent it can feel at times.

And then lately, in my late forties, the meaning of the song expands further. Even whom we think we are can get lost. Entire panes of identity start to fall to shreds and looking at them on the floor one wonders how they ever held together.

Luckily, these further discoveries of how the self can dissolve come to me at a time when I have finally come back to the fundamental relationship. I am of God, in God and for God. I am God's own, and my soul is in his hands. I am God's own, no matter what happens to my comprehension of myself, or the loss thereof. This gives me hope.

My late dad's soul is in God's hands. My forgetful mom's soul is in God's hands. Each of our souls are in God's hands. My soul, which I am quiet unable to fully apprehend, not to mention comprehend, is in God's hands. And these are the hands of a loving potter who patiently reforms the clay (Jeremiah 18:1-6) into the vessel He longs to dwell in (because "He loves to hang out with us" no matter what shack, or box, we choose to live in).

Love finally makes sense. Love is no longer evanescent. Love is now inescapable. It pervades all, even, and maybe above all, suffering.

As an anarchist, Léo Ferré would have scowled at what his song inspires in me today. But that is a mark of great art; that its power of evocation transcends its author, time and cultures.

On YouTube, you can listen to his studio recording of "Avec le temps." The English translation that flows on the screen is close enough. One day, I may want to do my own translation for you. The genius of one language is so hard to convey in another... Below, I have pasted the French text in its entirety.

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well" (Dame Julian of Norwich)

"Avec le temps", by Léo Ferré

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
On oublie le visage et l'on oublie la voix
Le cœur, quand ça bat plus, c'est pas la peine d'aller
Chercher plus loin, faut laisser faire et c'est très bien

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
L'autre qu'on adorait, qu'on cherchait sous la pluie
L'autre qu'on devinait au détour d'un regard
Entre les mots, entre les lignes et sous le fard
D'un serment maquillé qui s'en va faire sa nuit
Avec le temps tout s'évanouit

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
Même les plus chouettes souv'nirs ça t'as une de ces gueules
A la gal'rie j'farfouille dans les rayons d'la mort
Le samedi soir quand la tendresse s'en va toute seule

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
L'autre à qui l'on croyait pour un rhume, pour un rien
L'autre à qui l'on donnait du vent et des bijoux
Pour qui l'on eût vendu son âme pour quelques sous
Devant quoi l'on s'traînait comme traînent les chiens
Avec le temps, va, tout va bien

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
On oublie les passions et l'on oublie les voix
Qui vous disaient tout bas les mots des pauvres gens
Ne rentre pas trop tard, surtout ne prends pas froid

Avec le temps...
Avec le temps, va, tout s'en va
Et l'on se sent blanchi comme un cheval fourbu
Et l'on se sent glacé dans un lit de hasard
Et l'on se sent tout seul peut-être mais peinard
Et l'on se sent floué par les années perdues
Alors vraiment... avec le temps... on n'aime plus

Change, change, change

2010-10-03T15:14:00.005-05:00

During the 4 months I spent in Belgium, our family situation changed dramatically. My parents left the family home of 35 years for a nursing home in May. My dad was hospitalized twice and died in June. My dear mom lost more of herself to Alzheimer, especially in the 6 weeks that followed dad's funeral. And I was present to my close family day-by-day for longer than had happened since 1998.

And as if that wasn't enough, my bi-cultural family (mom was born a Fleming, my dad was a Walloon), was bombarded throughout with news of the intractable political crisis in Belgium.

The current government resigned on April 24. Ever since it is a care-taking government; its decision-making abilities is limited to current affairs, no new initiatives may be undertaken. Federal elections took place on June 13. The elections delivered results that make the negotiation for a coalition government nearly impossible (of necessity, all Belgian governments are coalitions). It will soon be 4 months since the electors voted and no new government is in sight.

Many wonder how much longer Belgium can survive as a single state and many more wonder how to have a three-way "civil divorce" between Flanders, Brussels and Wallonia, the three regions of my native land. I lived over 10 years in each one of them and always felt bi-cultural (Flemish/Francophone) as a Belgian.

My take on the Belgian crisis is that the Flemish political class suffers from a fear of eventual irrelevance of their culture as Belgium and the world internationalizes further with the greater encroachment of dominant languages and cultures. In their angst, they are ready to take measures that imperil democratic and human rights in the hope of preserving the territorial and cultural integrity of Flanders. In the most daring dreams of the Flemish political class this includes the enclave of Brussels, despite it currently being a separate region and featuring less than 10% percent Flemish speakers there.

And all this is happening in a fairly young state (just 180 years old) the size of Maryland with a population of over 10.5 million people (vs. 6.7 in MD, most of whom speak English).

I often pray that respect, dialogue and mutual understanding will continue to foster solidarity in Belgium; that would be such a better image for the seat of the European Union's institutions... I must admit I have little hope now for such an outcome. Belgium as a state may never celebrate its bi-centenary.

My family has changed greatly and my native country's institutions may have changed beyond recognition before my life is over. May all the people of Belgium have a peaceful, serene and prosperous future whatever the outcome of this political crisis.

And now, for a bit of fun at the expense of my beloved Belgium. The following video takes the mickey out of Belgium's political trouble. That's very Belgian. Most Belgians, regardless of cultural identity, share a self-deprecating humor that often puzzles outsiders.

Hosts of Angels along the way

2010-09-28T17:47:00.012-05:00

Angels known and unknown, thank you! And Happy Feast!

"For there is in these heavenly spirits a generosity that merits our love, as well as an honor that evokes our wonder."

from a sermon of my patron saint, Bernard of Claivaux

*****

During the four months I spent with my family, I became increasingly aware of being surrounded, supported and sometimes carried by angels. They took all shapes and forms. They surprised me when I least expected them. Many intervened incognito and I may only know their names and faces when I get to heaven.

The experiences my family went through were poignant; sometimes more painful than I thought we could bear. Yet throughout, rays of joy would slice through the difficulties or the suffering. Often, the news cycles and the pundits can make us feel as if increasing gloom and fear is closing in. I have come to see how ill-founded that feeling may be. We can choose to solely focus on the fearful or we can stop (turn off the noise), breathe and count our blessings regardless of the real challenges and pitfalls of life. Gratitude gives us the strength to undertake what we can.

I did not always succeed in keeping my mind open to the good and the joyful in the last four months. But often enough God nudged me, sometimes forcefully, to realize that hope, faith and charity were still at work through others and in myself. Sometimes, I would "get it" instantly to the point of bursting in laughter. Sometimes, I would go deep in darkness of mind and heart and it would be weeks before I would turn my gaze back up the pit and notice that the light was still shining up there and suddenly be back in its warmth.

Three examples of angels turning up uninvited come to my mind tonight, the eve of the feast of St Michael and All Angels.

*****

Angel Exhibit 1.

In May, while my Dad was in hospital for 3 weeks, I worked hours on end to arrange for round-the-clock care for my Mom. At the same time, I visited nursing homes where both my parents would be able to move (once my Dad would come around to the inevitability of that outcome). Often, I would have to rely on strangers referred to me by Social Services to keep company to my disoriented Mom for a few hours or for the night. Every one of them turned out to be great but the worry of leaving Mom to their untried (by me) care was anxiety-building and guilt-inducing.

Eventually, I called the hotline of a not-for-profit organization that offered at-home palliative care for the time when my terminally ill Dad would return home. I called from the middle of a freshly plowed field between the hospital and my parents' home. I stopped the car on a bank of grass and went to sit on the curb. I knew I couldn't bring myself to make the call in front of Mom. The volunteer who answered the phone was from a related not-for-profit who managed the hotline until the adequate person would return. She gave me the factual information needed to call back later with a better understanding of what was on offer.

But once she'd done that, she helped me express my personal distress and sadness. She had heard (despite myself) that my deepest need was not for facts. She spent 20 minutes with me helping me scope out how I felt and reassuring me that I was doing the best that could be hoped for under the circumstances. I cried and wallowed. I sobbed and became inarticulate. But I felt heard, validated and a great deal of relief came over me. I was able to go home to my Mom and care for her again with more lightness to my grieved heart. An angel had answered the phone. Not the person who was supposed to answer that phone at that time, but an angel.

*****

Angel Exhibit 2.

A few days before my Dad was due to be released from his first hospital stay, my sister-in-law and I (sometimes with Mom) had visited 12 nursing homes. We were on the waiting list of most of them with assurances that they would call us in the next 6 to 12 months(!); when a space for a couple with advanced disabilities would open up. In the interim, we would need round-the-clock presence at my parents' home to help them, to care for them and to be able to summon the appropriate professionals, as issues arose. I had found some people to come some nights but by far not all.

Then 3 days before Dad's return, a physio-therapist who worked with Dad told me to call his sister. She turned out to be willing and able to come live at my parents' home each week from Sunday evening to Thursday morning. She could start right away. When I inquired how that was possible, I discovered she was a contemplative who lived at her parents' house. She had been a nurse and sister in Africa in Mother Teresa's Order. She had lived the contemplative life as a semi-solitary for the last 4 years and was getting ready to enter a fairly new contemplative French Order in September.

Helene proved a godsend in more ways than one. She was soothing to my parents, helped all the many other professionals who came for all the care my parents were now getting during the day. She went beyond her briefing in doing ancillary tasks to fill in downtime. And when my tall and large father took a tumble in his bedroom only 24 hours after returning home, this short little lady showed great skill in getting him back on his feet all on her own using a chair to get it done.

Only 3 days into the job, Helene came to find me to thank me for having given her the chance to work with my parents. Why, we were so thankful to her! She told me how much she was getting from being with them. She said how helpful this was in her own journey. Eventually, I had to laugh that God had sent me this able and loving young "in-between" nun to save us from elder care disaster at the last minute. That seemed like a godly wink at this very over-his-head monk.

Helene was due to enter the novitiate of her new religious Order in September. I pray that she may see with the eyes of her heart all the angels who are there to help her in her vocation.

*****

Angel Exhibit 3.

A few months before my Dad's death, our own Br. James saw the writing on the wall. He knew well before it happened that I would eventually have to return to help my family in a very difficult transition that was likely to involve death.

Unbeknownst to me, he approached the leadership of Holy Cross to ask that, when the time would come, we would send a Brother to be with me and my family shortly after my Dad's passing. The idea was to be there for me, first, but also for my family, at a time when it would be most difficult to bear the happenings of life.

Sure enough, upon my Dad's death, Br. James left the Benedictine Junior Summer School at St Meinrad's Archabbey in Indiana to undertake a 16 hour, two-legs, plane trip to Belgium. Jim stayed with me at the Monastery of St Andre (another pool of angels dwelt there...) where I slept most nights at the time. Jim was on hand for all and everything that happened in those days.

He put up with a lot of emotional, stressed French talking around him when we could not go to the effort of all speaking English. He was dear and sweet and wise and helpful. He gave composure enough to my niece when she addressed the whole assembly at my father's funeral (even when she felt small after a great academic eulogy from a university dean). He sat with my disoriented Mom on the patio of her nursing home helping her realize that her English was still very much at her disposal.

And Jim gave me an excuse to re-visit places of my childhood; allegedly to show him "my Belgium" but also as a means of pilgrimage to the places I shared with my Dad. He now has increased his French repertoire to include a convincing "Ca va? Ca va!" ("You OK? I'm OK!").

*****

There were many, many more angels fluttering about in the last several months. Many I met face-to-face; some I called angel to their face. Many I never saw, but more and more, I knew they were there. Many I guessed at. And many I knew of even if they were not close at hand: all those who wrote, called, prayed or hoped for me and my family. Their prayer; I will have to come back to that some day. Their prayer carried us to keep us from dashing our feet on rocks (Psalm 91:12).

Angels known and unknown, thank you! And Happy Feast!

A 49 year-old "orphan"

2010-09-25T14:50:00.004-05:00

These days, I am slowly realizing how hard I've been on myself by not letting my sadness seep through my well-defended emotional watch. I'll need to find ways to cry and feel compassion for myself as much as I have been able to do it for others around me.

I think "little orphan Bernard" will need to weep on God's lap some time. A 49 year-old orphan gets a smirk from my ironic side but that's what it feels like. With my Dad gone and with my beloved Mom lost deeper into Alzheimer, the Mom that's left to me is mostly the one I evoke in her when I visit. And even visits in person will now no longer happen for many months. I find myself relating soul to soul with Dad, and with Mom. Thank God for prayer!

Little by little the scope of what happened this summer is dawning on me. Losses compounded losses; my Dad's death in June, of course, but also moving Mom and Dad to a nursing home in May, emptying the family house in July, making it suitable for strangers to move in August, seeing my Mom sink in utter confusion and hurt herself for over 6 weeks.

As the loss of her everyday companion and life compass took hold of her mind and body she got lost in gloom and fear. She tried desperately to go back, but "back to where?" she didn't even know. In the process, she'd fall and hurt herself while often scaring fellow residents of her nursing home. She'd end up isolated in bed, in her room, to recover from falls but that would only increase her disorientation and melancholy.

Did I mention that Alzheimer sucks?

Luckily, 6 weeks after my Dad's funeral, my Mom's mental state suddenly stabilized and turned to the sunny side and her physical state enabled her again to interact with the nursing home community. Interacting with people helps her tremendously. I call that happy turn my Dad's first glorious intercession; merci, Papy.

I'm reading as stimulating book about Alzheimer's and the theological questions it raises (Forgetting Whose We Are, by David Keck). It's not a self-help or pastoral care book but I find it tremendously helpful in my own healing and reflection.

Three months ago...

2010-09-25T13:52:00.006-05:00

Today is the three months anniversary of my Dad's death. I miss him more keenly as the time passes. The weather here today is hot and humid just as it was on that Friday back in Belgium.

This morning, I went on a walk in the Esopus Meadows Preserve with a friend. We caught up on each other's life. Yesterday, I had caught up with a another friend while walking to the Hudson Valley Overlook at Shaupeneak Ridge. I'm so behind with every one. But the cloth of relationships will be darned one gap at a time (just like mending the gaping sock I put on one morning this week; I'm so proud at my attempts at sustainability. **grin**).

The beauty of God's amazing creation and walking through it certainly helps me; thank you Joan and Dyron. The Hudson Valley feeds my soul, no doubt about it. And being back in the flow of my monastic community, home and life is slowly but deeply healing.

This afternoon, I am cleaning up our central Health Care Proxies filing. I took out the files of Brothers who either have left us, moved on to our Creator or have moved to other monasteries of our Order. Some were dispatched to their owner, others were discarded and shredded. In the coming weeks I will be helping a few Brothers who live here to set up their own file and I will be updating my own.

We started the central filing after the sudden death of our late Prior, Br. Douglas Brown in 2006. It already has served us well several times. For each monk, we hold an updated list of medications and allergies, a list of personal emergency contacts (families, friends) and a Health Care Proxy and Living Will statement. A fitting chore for this anniversary. Memento Mori.

One of these days, I'll have to write to you about the hosts of angels that showed up in my family's time of need. In the meantime, know that all the prayers said for me and my family have carried us as we could not have done ourselves at the time. Thank you.

A needed breath of fresh air

2010-09-10T13:15:00.003-05:00

I regularly read the Rev. Daniel Simmons' blog at Trinity Wall Street's website. It is consistently good and stimulating.

Daniel's latest blog entry is the breath of fresh air I needed on the eve of the ninth anniversary of Nine Eleven. Thank you, Daniel.

"Chapel for All People" from the "In The Moment" blog.

PS: I did not blog for over 4 months. My family and I went through the painful and rich steps of suffering, death and resilience. I hope to paint touches of what happened for me in the future but I can't bring myself to do it just yet. Thank you for all those of you who prayed for and/or thought of us. 'See you later...

Being with my parents

2010-04-30T10:56:00.006-05:00

My father's health situation deteriorated markedly this past week. My family and my parents' caregivers concluded it was time for me to be with them for a while if my brothers would agree to it. As I write this at my dad's computer, my mom is dozing off in an armchair near me. Whenever she perks up she alternates between asking me where dad is and telling me what great relief and comfort it is to have me here (which is certainly true but ironically feels so inadequate).

It's a strange thing, she doesn't remember the facts but seems to find an emotional equilibrium that is appropriate for the times we're in. She tells me of how she prays that God take care of all even though she no longer remembers what shape she would like that to take or even sometimes what is in need of care (no more attempts at micro-maging God when memory fails). I told her that many religious spend a lifetime seeking to pray with such freedom. And of course, correctly so, she takes no pride in having achieved it effortlessly...

Both my dad and mom support and understand my monastic vocation. In less than 32 hours here, they both had reiterated how grateful they are to my community to have enabled me to be here with them at this time. I too am deeply grateful to my Holy Cross Brothers; I can feel their prayers, I know of the additional tasks and labor they need to undertake in my absence; I appreciate the love they show me. Brother Bede took several hours out of his schedule to drop off a visiting friend of mine at the train station and drive me to JFK. And, I take it as a tangible sign of his affection, that we left early and had a long conversation over a good pan-Asian meal at one of our favorite restaurants (Yobo, Newburgh).

When I finally arrived at Brussels airport after a red-eye flight I hugged my sister-in-law Annick with joy; we hadn't seen each other since she attended my life profession last november. As I embraced her; her cell phone went off; it flashed my brother's name. She suggested I pick up. My brother Benoit had just heard from the hospital that dad had had a cardiac arrest and that we should all converge to his hospital room as soon as possible.

As luck would have it; the ring road around Brussels and the most direct highway to the hospital were jammed over about 30 miles. Annick and I decided to take the long way home as the fastest. This had a bittersweet irony to it; it took us through my native city of Leuven with all the visual cues that brought memories of growing up with my dad.

Eventually, three generations of Delcourt ended up around dad's bed. Today saturday, he is recuperating relatively well. I take mom to visit him every day. We roll her wheelchair as close as possible to him. We prop him up as much as is comfortable to him and they chat until he's too tired for it.

Luckily, we have started to have a night helper to keep company to mom whose own health concerns make her easily disoriented at the best of times. This overnight helper enables me to return to the monastery where I have been taken in. This affords me some respite and rest every night. Over time, it is my hope I will be able to attend some offices and give a little back to my hosts in help and companionship.

I am deeply appreciative and gateful of the hospitality of my Benedictine Brothers of St Andre de Clerlande. Their monastery is nestled in a pine-tree forest on a hillside half-way between my parents' home and the hospital where dad is. Their open, unobtrusive generosity in offering me a monastic space of respite is yet another sign of God's grace writ large in this difficult, painful situation.

Please keep Jacques and Liliane, and my family in your prayers.

I preached on Thomas and friends...

2010-04-11T10:43:00.005-05:00

Today is a Sunday by many names in the various Christian churches: Octave Day of Easter, Low Sunday, St Thomas Sunday, Quasimodo Sunday or Divine Mercy Sunday.

As always, I learned a lot (including a good deal of trivia, of course) and deepened my appreciation of God in preparing for this sermon.

Along the way, I cleared away the idea that Low Sunday was so named in opposition to Easter being High Sunday. It also has nothing to do with mooing (to low = to moo). But it is likely a deformation from the Latin sequence hymn that starts with the word "Laudes" (praises).

And I got corrected from wondering why a Sunday would be named for the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. "Quasi modo" is latin for "in this manner" and those two words start the Gregorian Chant introit hymn for this Sunday. The novel's hunchback is abandoned as a infant on the threshold of Notre Dame on Quasimodo Sunday.

I also got intrigued by nicknames amongst the apostles. What's with all those? Simon is nicknamed Peter (for stone). For a modern equivalence, let's consider he'd be called Rocky. As for Thomas, that's a deformation of aramaic or greek words meaning Twin. But what was behind those nicknames? What aspects of their personalities or appearances led their in-group to call them like that? Only imagination can address that for now.

*****

And this week-end, our Order gained a newly professed Brother. Brother Josias Morobi made his initial profession of the Benedictine Vow in our monastery of Grahamstown, South Africa. Thanks be to God! And many blessings on your monastic journey, Josias!

Heidi, Monica, Br.John Forbis, Br. Daniel Ludik, Br. Josias Morobi, Br. Timothy Jolley, Bp. Ann Tottenham
on the occasion of Josias' initial profession - Saturday 10 April 2010

How good it is...

2010-03-16T14:39:00.008-05:00

...to live together in a church that does not bypass the main problems of the 21st century while focusing on Christ. Soon the Bishops of ECUSA will be meeting in retreat to pray, reflect and share on those issues. ECUSA stands for the Episcopal Church USA.

What will no doubt gain press will be the discussion of a report entitled "Same Sex Relationships in the Life of the Church" (to be released after the retreat). I am keen that such relationships also be a life-giving part of our church life. And yet as a God-loving gay man, I'm also adamant that we do not loose sight of all we need to be as an embodiment of Good News in people's lives.

Watch the 6.5 minute video below for a sense of ECUSA's richness (even my native Belgium is mentioned!). It's very well made and deserves your full screen and some sound volume.

An allegedly small (numerically) but yet vibrant piece of the picture given in the above video is our Religious Orders and communities. You can watch a video introducing the Anglican religious life in North America. Our production means are modest but it tells the story well. Those who visit our monastery often, will maybe recognize the mellifluous "radio voice" of Br. Scott who was deeply involved in the making of this video, together with monks and nuns of other orders.

If you, or someone you know, is wondering about a life as a Religious, CAROA's website is a good place to start. CAROA stands for Conference for the Anglican Religious Orders in the Americas. And if you know a man who'd benefit from considering becoming a Holy Cross monk, I'm the man (well, the Vocations Minister for North America, that is).

May the Holy Spirit continue to impel Anglicans of all stripes to build up together the body of Christ in prayer, worship and mission work.

Honour your father and your mother

2010-03-15T13:59:00.006-05:00

Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12

Most every Monday, I call my Dad's home phone for a chat. As soon as he hears my voice, he'll announce: "I'm calling you back on Skype; talk to you in a minute."

Sure enough, a few minutes later, my computer lets me know that a video call is incoming from my Dad and Mom. My godson Ludovic and my niece Coline gave them a webcam this past Christmas (great thinking, guys!). So we now can have a two-way video conference. My Dad long ago rigged up his computer so that both he and Mom can wear a phone headset; not bad for an 81 year-old, he?

At times, the immediacy of the picture can be painful for loved ones separated by an ocean (they live in my native Belgium). Sometimes, they look frail and tired. Sometimes, the many bruises facilitated by bloodthinners are in evidence or a scab from a fall looks like it will never heal...

But today, they were in good spirits and in good shape considering their long list of ailments. My Mom recently benefited from cataract surgery on both her eyes. As a result, she reads again and is keener in following what's happening around her.

At his cardiologist's suggestion, my Dad will soon be consulting a surgeon for the possible installation of a pacemaker to "still his foolish heart" which has murmured since his birth but now misses a few too many beats. They are so positive and willing to try new things; he was even bragging on how compact his pacemaker would be compared to the previous pacemaker of a cousin my age...

A neighbour is arranging to come and pick both of them up for a healing service at their parish in Holy Week. I am so grateful for the loving attention and help they are getting from neighbors, friends and relatives who check in on them and keep visiting.

I am so grateful for the many professionals who help them day-by-day with meals, showers, nursing, house chores, shopping and repairs. Something is to be said for socialized medicine and - dare I say it - even the "nanny state". When "Nanny" is taking loving and adequate care of your faraway beloved parents you say "Thank You!"

And you give thanks for the 55% tax rate you paid at the height of your professional earning. Without all these helpers, Jacques and Liliane would be quite unable to fulfill their dream of aging together at home (and would cost even more to the Belgian taxpayer).

Today, they commented on my blog entries; I read them a passage of a soon-to-be published book in which the monastery is lovingly mentioned; they inquired about the past week's "Come and See" inquirers and checked on the health of my brothers. We chatted about various members of our family. We talked about world and church news. And, we made a deal that we'll pray to entice a loved one back to a suitable church.

May each of our parents be given the best possible care and may we enjoy our earthly connection for as long as God wills it.

Amen.

Papa et Maman, je vous aime et je vous embrasse très fort!

I enjoyed reading "The Shack"...

2010-03-13T18:59:00.005-05:00

...and it led me into spontaneous prayer several times.

I had long resisted the garish displays in bookshops, thinking that I would cringe at the style and content of that sort of literature. But eventually there were too many enthusiastic mentions of the W. Paul Young book by people I like. My snobbish reserve had to go (but I downloaded it to my Kindle - so nobody was the wiser, until now). The most recent mention had been by an inquirer into the monastic life who had not left his Guesthouse cell for 12 hours sometimes laughing and often crying himself through all of it in one session.

While there are several odd or unhappy uses of the English language in the book, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It is a work of fiction. It uses creative imagination to convey the notion of a godhead who is/are incredibly loving, generous, caring, yet deeply various and distinct from humanity in at least 2 of its participants. All three members of the Trinity are featured, albeit in unconventional ways and it is their interactions with each other and with Mack, the main character, that make the book work.

Biblical exactitude and doctrinal orthodoxy were not in the author's program. If that is one's standard of how Christian fiction should work, one should throw the book away (and C.S. Lewis' Narnia trilogy with it, for example). I myself have little appetite for boxing God in either scripture or doctrine even though they both are of great import to me. The author's blog had a Tweet yesterday that neatly encapsulates an endearing perspective of the book:

The only reason that God is ever in a box is because God wants to be where you are. 2010/03/12

The original book was apparently written as a father's literary gift to his 6 children. The book which we get to read has been thoroughly re-worked by several people. The visuals evoked often have a Hallmark tinge to them. And one feels the "ready for movie script" influences of the re-writers. But the deeply personal note of the book carries through it all. And that's probably a big part of why the book remains so appealing throughout its dense chapters of dialog with a little narration.

In the end, I expect it is the relational focus of the book that most probably will stick with me; I needed an imaginative stretch in that area.

I liked a USA Today review that focused on the author, his journey and his intent. Reviews that try to pick the book apart from a biblical or doctrinal perspective are easy to find.

So if one can leave one's hang-ups at the coat rack, The Shack is worth a visit; a thoroughly enjoyable, moving and inspiring book.

Lenten blessings to you.

My lenten disciplines... so help me, God!

2010-03-07T14:33:00.004-05:00

In the last few days of my stay in Sarasota, Florida, I drafted a list of disciplines I would like to follow during Lent. I was going to fly home on Ash Wednesday and would be picked up by my friend Elizabeth upon arrival at Newburgh airport.

On our way to the monastery, we stopped at a service area for a refreshment. I asked Elizabeth, who knows me and my spiritual journey very well, to assess my list. As could be expected of me, she deemed it fairly ambitious and asked me to say what might be new practices, which ones would be hardest and which ones I imagined would give me the most benefit. Good questions! And then she encouraged me to whittle down the list; what a wise friend!

So I found myself scrapping things off the list and making others more realistic. All the while defending why others needed to stay on the list or as they were... I realized right there and then that I was having "Lenten Disciplines Attachment Syndrome."

By now, we're one third into Lent. I thought I'd do a status update for myself and share it with you.

But before I go there, let me say that I see the disciplines as ways of making myself more ready for, and available to, God. So, a bit of lexicography. A disciple is a follower, a student of someone. A discipline is training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.

And, I am not a big fan of Lenten resolutions that don't have a chance of becoming ongoing practices. So I'm no longer giving up chocolate because, for the time being, I know there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I'm going to pass the opportunity for a good chocolaty delight.

St Benedict asserts that the life of a monk should be a perpetual lent (see Chapter 49 of the Rule of Benedict; On The Observance Of Lent). So in Lent, I try more earnestly to find ways that will build me up as a more faithful follower of Jesus Christ. Hopefully, some of those ways will find a way to become integrated to my life beyond Lent. And yes, I'm a bit obsessive compulsive; some of it is good, some of it needs to be kept in check...

I still find that I can be attached to "achieving" my chosen disciplines. Luckily, real life has gotten into the way often enough that I just have to be grateful for whatever disciplines I'm able to weave into my day. Some days, it's all of them and I must admit that feels like bliss ("bliscipline, anyone?"). But most days, something (or someone named Bernard) gets in the way and I have to not let that derail me. So don't imagine a second that I get to juggle all the balls in the air all the time.

And if you wonder reading those below "shouldn't he be doing that everyday, as a monk anyway?", you're right but this monk fails more often than he'd like to be a good follower of Christ.

So here are my 2010 Lenten disciplines and (in italics) a brief discussion of how I hope it builds me up into a more faithful disciple of Jesus:

Drink teas (black, green, herbal) instead of coffee. Lower caffeine intake. I have enough energy as it is. Avoiding the "caffeine jitters" may help me be more centered. I'm finally making a dent in my stash of great black, green, white and herbal teas accumulated over time with this hope in mind.

Focus on proteins from vegetable, dairy, poultry and fish. Avoid "four-footed" meat. This is not so much deprivation. I believe this is a food justice, sustainability and health issue. The less of the world's resources my diet claims the better we can all live. This dietary choice also leads me to eat a greater proportion of fibers and less saturated fats; all good. Moreover, it simplifies meal time choices...

Sleep 8 hours a day. Get in bed before 9.15 p.m. Switch off lights before 9.30 p.m. Get up between 5.00 and 5.30 a.m. If necessary, take a nap (30 to 45 minutes). I don't function well with too little sleep but I tend to use up evenings for leisure until it is too late to catch enough sleep... I've realized that just because I feel "entitled" to leisure doesn't mean I can deprive myself from sleep or prayer time... The computer and internet discipline below help a lot in all this.

Exercise and shower before Matins. Rise by 5.45 a.m. Exercise by 6.15 a.m. Shower & shave by 6.50 a.m. Get early in choir for Matins (6.55 a.m.). I find that I am a better prayer, meditator and student when I am fit. Exercise also makes me a happier person. The exercise also boosts my metabolism so that I'm fully awake and energized for matins rather than trundling along towards greater wakefulness, as so often happens to me...

Do Lectio Divina on "The Lost Gospel of Q" between breakfast and mass (8.15 to 8.55 a.m.). This focuses me on what is thought to be the synoptic gospels' most ancient fragments. The fragments are also very short which always helpful for lectio.

Meditate between Vespers and Supper (5.35 to 5.55 p.m.). I sit on my meditation bench and do some insight meditation (vipassana). I find that the short interval seems to help my mind to desist from finding... um, "more useful" things to do...

Read between Supper and Compline (6.45 to 7.45 p.m.). Read from: "The Crucified God" by Jurgen Moltmann. I've long wanted to discover Moltmann but this may not be the easiest thing to read by the end of a busy day. I had, in typical over-ambition, thought that I would also read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's "Meditations on the Cross" and Kenneth Leech's "We Preach Christ Crucified." Luckily, if "God lends me life"(as my dad likes to say - "si Dieu me prête vie"), there will be more Lents in my future...

Recreate between 7.45 and 8.25 p.m. (reading for fun, yarncraft). If I'm going to keep going at this, recreation is essential, so this is time for light fun. Sudokus and periodicals browsing have also been helpful. Knitting a scarf for my nephew is particularly soothing and also prayerful. I'm thoroughly enjoying reading "The Shack"; some of the theology I love, some - not so much, but we need to open up our narrative and emotional imagination to play with God and this book does that well.

Use Internet to check e-mail checking and do some research between 9.45 a.m. and 4.45 p.m. only. Now here might be the life-changer; fewer temptations to dawdle, a need to focus on productive use in the few hours when these wonderful tools are "licitly" available to me. It also frees up other open times for quieter, more centered activities and it removes a major obstacle to timely bedtime.

Well, that's all folks! 'Wish me luck. Let's keep each other in prayer and have a blessed Lent!

Reviving Sleeping Beauty

2010-03-05T13:51:00.006-05:00

The Library Volunteers retreat came to an end today. Eight volunteers and three monks made quite an impact on the various tasks that are ongoing in the library.

I'd compare the work that the librarians and volunteers have achieved in these last few years to reviving the Sleeping Beauty. We have a great library but it required and deserves a lot of tender loving care.

At the end of this morning, we ended the retreat with a prayerful reflection on our week's work and life. This included a walk-about with a show-and-tell of what was achieved. It's amazing how much work we got done while having fun!

Mary checking for duplicates
Originally uploaded by bdelcourt

In our closing session, I asked people what had been a surprise or a funny item in their week. Here are a few of the things that came up.

One volunteer delighted in finding a 19th century hymnal that had been inscribed for Father Huntington, the founder of our Order. She marveled at how so many of our books made her feel an integral part of the story of the Church.

One librarian shared being surprised by the dawning realization that we may need to prepare to let go of a few too many duplicates. One could sense the ambivalence of the realization as he talked. Yes, even monks have attachments!

Another librarian marveled at how a task shared is a task lightened both physically and spiritually. Many of our volunteers work in pairs to facilitate the job.

Some return volunteers highlighted the joy of increasingly feeling like a little community of its own and how they enjoyed getting to know the "newbies" and missed some absent "oldies".

I shared my surprise at being able to hook up the Video Cassette Recorder to the digital projector on my own the day we watched a Brother Cadfael mystery for our "movie night" (complete with ice-creams at intermission).

One volunteer reported experiencing one laugh after another (not surprising when you're paired with one of the most talkative lawyers of Lonk Eyyyyeland).

Here are more pictures of the Spring 2010 Bibliophiles' Workout.

The next Library Volunteers Retreat is scheduled for Tue 29 June to Fri 02 July. Contact our Guesthouse Office if you'd like to be part of it (guesthouse at hcmnet.org or 845-384-6660 ext 1).

Books they raved about, or advised in their early twenties

2010-03-03T11:33:00.007-05:00

This week Br. Adam McCoy and a few of us are leading and supervising a retreat of Library Volunteers at the Monastery. We dubbed it "Bibliophiles' Workout".

In our introductory session, we cover the scope, structure and schedule of the retreat. But we also try to get to know who's around the circle in a summary manner. This time, I asked people to think of a book which they raved about, or insisted friends read, when they were between the ages of 20 and 25. I'm often pleasantly surprised how we get to know new interesting stuff even about people we may have known for a while.

Check out below what came from this crowd of enthusiastic volunteers.

Our hardy Library Volunteers - Winter 2010

"Mimesis - The Representation of Reality in Western Literature" by Erich Auerbach
"Letters and Papers from Prison", "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"The Supper of the Lamb" by Robert Farrar Capon
"The Shape of the Liturgy" by Dom Gregory Dix
For the essay "Self-Reliance", in "Self-reliance, and other essays" by Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Silence" by Shusako Endo
"The Return of the Native" by Thomas Hardy
"Le Monde Selon Garp" by John Irving
For the poem "Separation", in "Migration: new & selected poems" by William Stanley Merwin
"The Forest People", "The Mountain People" by Colin N. Turnbull
"Couples" by John Updike
"Joyful Community - An account of the Bruderhof, a communal movement now in its third generation" by Benjamin David Zablocki
"Ms." magazine

Well yes, you guessed right; the French translation of "The World According to Garp" was my contribution. I read it on the suggestion of my biological brother who is still an Irving afficionado and has read a great many of his books in French. We only saw the Garp movie much later.

Words and new words - January 2010

2010-02-12T14:50:00.000-05:00

The inflorescence of the Terebinth (see below) tree (Pistacia Palaestina)

demeanor
noun

Behavior toward others : outward manner

Synonym: bearing

This came up in a reading of the Holy Cross Rule (Chapter 25: Of Demeanor in Public Places). I keep needing to look this one up because the middle syllable 'mean' sneaks a negative connotation into this word for me...

*****

levity
noun

1: excessive or unseemly frivolity
2: lack of steadiness : changeableness

This came up in a reading of the Holy Cross Rule (Chapter 25: article 118). The etymology goes to 'levitas' in Latin, from 'levis', light in weight. The same root gives us levitation. The OHC rule remains silent on that possibility amongst the monks...

*****

ensign
noun

emblem, sign

This came up in the Advent O antiphon for December 18 (MB p 218). Trekkie that I am, I always have a thought of ensign Wesley Crusher of Enterprise fame; but that refers to another meaning (military rank) of the same word, of course.

*****

retard
noun

a holding back or slowing down : retardation

This came up in an Advent choir rehearsal. The same word in French means delay rather than slowing down, therefore, I had to check this 'false friend'.

*****

unobtrusive
adjective

not obtrusive : not blatant, arresting, or aggressive : inconspicuous

antonym: obtrusive (1: forward in manner or conduct, 2: undesirably prominent)

This came up in the OHC Rule, Chapter XXXIV, article 153: "The very condition of the sanctuary, its perfect order, cleanliness and the unobtrusive action of its ministers, should extend themselves throughout the house in all its departments."

*****

terebinth
noun

Pistacia palaestina is a tree or shrub common in the region of Israel and the Asiatic Mediterranean. It is called terebinth in English, but "terebinth" can also refer to the similar Pistacia terebinthus which is common in more westerly parts of the Mediterranean basin.

This came up in the Isaiah reading for 5th Sunday after Epiphany (6:1-13). It caught my attention because the word for turpentine in French is "térébenthine". It turns out the tree gave its name to a resin distillation that is used as as solvent. When I was a child "térébenthine" was often used to revive the color and grain of old wooden furniture grown dull from too much polishing. I loved the smell that came off the mix of wood and terpenes (components of turpentine). I also noticed that it could make one dizzy... The bottle had warnings on keeping it away from children.

Words and new words - February to July 2010

2010-02-12T12:20:00.003-05:00

Mozarab

noun

The Mozarabs were Iberian Christians who lived under Moorish Muslim rule in Al-Andalus.

Their descendants remained unconverted to Islam, but did however adopt elements of Arabic language and culture. They were mostly Roman Catholics of the Visigothic or Mozarabic rite.

Most of the Mozarabs were descendants of the Hispano-Gothic Christians who became Arabic speakers under Islamic rule.

This word came up in our choir rehearsal of service music for the Epiphany season. We are using mozarabic chant.

Mozarabic chant (also known as Hispanic chant, Old Hispanic chant, Old Spanish chant, or Visigothic chant) is the liturgical plainchant repertory of the Mozarabic rite of the Roman Catholic Church, related to but distinct from Gregorian chant.

It was soon replaced by the chant of the Roman rite following the Christian Reconquest. Although its original medieval form is largely lost, a few chants have survived with readable musical notation, and the chanted rite was later revived in altered form and continues to be used in a few isolated locations in Spain, primarily in Toledo.

*****

neume

noun

Any of various symbols used in the notation of Gregorian chant.

This also came up in our choir rehearsals .

*****

melisma

noun

A group of notes or tones sung on one syllable in plainsong. The melisma is represented by several linked neumes in the notation.

*****

anagoge or anagogy

noun

Interpretation of a word, passage, or text (as of Scripture or poetry) that finds beyond the literal, allegorical, and moral senses a fourth and ultimate spiritual or mystical sense.

On mission at St Boniface, Sarasota, Florida

2010-02-07T17:11:00.004-05:00

This past Friday, I arrived in Sarasota, Florida, for a week of mission to the good people of St Boniface Episcopal Church. They are a vibrant community that explores the with-God life in all sorts of way. I have been asked to offer them a monastic presence here once a year for a week. This is the third year I am visiting their community. Relationships are being woven with more richness as we go.

I am the beneficiary of the hospitality of OHC Associate, Bob Griffiths and his partner David Eichlin. They understand my need for quiet and solitude in the midst of a fairly busy mission schedule and make me feel right at home. What a gift!

Throughout the week, I will do preaching (6 times!), teaching, taking part in meetings of various groups (clergy, staff, bible study, pastoral care) and meeting with individuals who request it. It is a rich diet of serving the people of God in a fairly concentrated manner. I always come away with awe and respect for parish clergy who don't have the luxury of doing this sort of thing one week a year only.

I enjoyed preparing and delivering my sermon for today. You can find it on the OHC Lectionary blog. This afternoon, is the beginning of my sabbath time. Tomorrow afternoon, I'll be back to homily and address preparations.

This morning, in the adult education forum on Benedictine prayer, I was asked how much our Brothers were away on missions like this one. Thankfully, I had to answer that this was the exception. Without a lot of presence and participation in the life of my monastery, my vow of stability would start to sound a bit hollow... And I increasingly see the value of the vow of stability in the development of a healthy Benedictine spirituality. I recently read a great article on it by Australian Cistercian Michael Casey (The Value of Stability, in Cistercian Studies Quarterly, Vol 31.3 (1996) pp 278-301).

And the cherry on the cake is that next Friday, I'll be on a the cusp of a few days of Rest and Recreation in lovely Sarasota. No wonder, my Brothers chide me when I prepare for this yearly mission. 10 days of Sarasota weather in the midst of a mid-Hudson Valley winter is always a good trade!

re-building a better Haiti

2010-01-23T20:10:00.006-05:00

It seems to me that the global community has an amazing opportunity to show itself and the Haitian people what could be done if we all worked together towards a sustainable path for broader and deeper common good.

An Economist magazine leader article spells out something I've thought politically uncouth to think for a week now: have a UN-sanctioned development agency take over the re-building of Haiti. Actually, the more I remember my conversations with Haitians about the future of their country, the more I think they themselves realize that their on-going state structure is not up to the job of ensuring a brighter future for its people. Re-development and continued state building are in order.

The human and material destruction of the recent earthquake makes it more important than ever to re-think how to give Haitians basic services and necessities in a way that opens up a future for them on their beautiful half of Hispaniola island.

But that's at the macro level. At the micro level, what can people like you and I do?

I was glad to come across some leapfrogging ideas to help Haitians now on the WorldChanging blog. Let's help Haitian people harness solar energy in their day-to-day lives.

The idea I liked most is the Sun Ovens. When you land into Port-au-Prince, you actually see Haitian mountains crumbling under the erosion brought about by the over-exploitation of trees. Without alternatives to charcoal to cook, poor Haitians cannot hope to rebuild the eco-system on which they depend. Sun Ovens actually would enable them to cook food (bake, and even pasteurize water) without relying on charcoal.

Check out the Sun Ovens video (about 7.5 minutes but geekily neat). If you like it -- and would like it even better in the hands of a displaced Haitian family -- you can donate some money by the end of the month to help them provide more ovens through FOHO (donation checks should be made payable to: Friends of Haiti Organization, P. O. Box 222, Holland, OH 43528 - please note the donation is for the Sun Oven project).

The other idea is solar, off-the-grid, public lighting by Sol Inc.. When I visited Port-au-Prince two years ago, I saw young students congregating in the park near the presidential palace at night in order to study under the public lighting that was available there. Imagine the impact on youth if they could study under public lighting at most every cross-road in Port-au-Prince... Who's to say what could happen to Creole culture if more kids could learn and advance their knowledge by being able to read a little bit more every evening?

May we hang in there with our Haitian brothers and sisters for the long haul. And let's keep finding "WorldImproving" ways to help them.

I relay below a letter from The Rev. Kesner Ajax about the current situation in the Episcopal Diocese of Haiti and who is active on the ground. You may get a few more helping ideas here.

Dear Sisters and brothers in Christ,

Please let me take some time to give you some update of the situation of Haiti and your beloved partners in the Episcopal church of Haiti. God has saved the lives of the bishop, the 32 active priests, 9 retired priests, the 6 deacons, the 17 seminarians, 3 nuns and the 4 missionaries and their families. All private houses have been damaged to some degree, but all churches, schools, rectories clinics, and hospitals from Croix des Bouquets to Miragoane are not permitted to be used. In Port au Prince and Leogane, all structures of the Episcopal Church have been completely destroyed. We cannot evaluate how many parishioners and staff members we lost. In the south, BTI is ok but the Saint Sauveur rectory is not safe to sleep in. The seminarians went back to their home town; one of them is a physician, and he has stayed at college St Pierre in Port au Prince to give first aid to the people. The Episcopal church of Haiti has set up more than 7 centers to support victims, mostly in the worst hit areas where the bishop is based with whatever supplies they have been able to receive.

On behalf of bishop Duracin the partnership program and the people of Haiti, I would like to begin to thank you for your continuing prayer and assistance, especially ERD and our brothers and sisters of the Dominican Republic who share our same island home. We appreciated very strongly the sacrifices of Canon Bill Squire , Dr. McNelly and other team members who flew across the DR border to visit us. Your notes and emails of sympathy are very important to us. Please continue to send your notes of encouragement.

The Episcopal Relief and Development ( ERD) is doing a very remarkable work to support Haiti during the dilemma, both with emergency support and beginning to plan to be part of the rebuilding of the Episcopal church in Haiti. You can see that Rev. Lauren and Dianne are encouraging you to share information about your work in Haiti. It is very important to cooperate in that survey, because while Port au Prince and Leogane areas are more directly affected by the damage, many victims are returning to their home towns to breath a little bit, find food to eat and a safe place to sleep. However, the movement of people from Port au Prince to the countryside is overwhelming our ability to provide for them, and no relief agencies are yet providing supplies to the countryside.

ERD is working together with the bishop and a Haitian emergency commission of 15 people where The Canon Oge Beauvoir is the coordinator. Please continue to support ERD with your emergency support. Do not forget your partners in Haiti. You can still send money to your partners by check via lynx and your wire via Citibank. For two days all of the banks have been open in other towns in Haiti, and today they opened in Port au Prince. Remember when you send support to your partners; please copy me and also the diocesan accountant Mr Frantz Antilus in order to facilitate the process. You already know what to do when you want to send your emergency to ERD who are helping us a lot now.

School will not open in the West department , but schools and universities will open soon in the other 9 departments and will welcome children and students from other departments.

Thank you for your attention to my note, do not hesitate to ask questions: Ask for the state of your projects. Ask for your beloved friends if they are safe or hurt.

I continue to serve as the partnership coordinator and the DJ'O(Diocesan Jubile officer) and Rev. Frantz COLE serves as the development officer for the Episcopal diocese of Haiti. The Rev. Roger Bowen is still cooperating with me for the National Association Episcopal School. And Rev. Lauren Stanley who assists in the Partnership and Development program will coordinate with ERD in USA.

Thanks you all, may God continue to bless you.

The Rev. Kesner Ajax
Executive Director, Bishop Tharp Institute (BTI)
8 Rue du Quai, Cayes
Tel. Office: 011-509-2286-4676
011-509-2286-4677
Mobile: 011-509-3445-3346
011-509-3724-8376
Mailing address:
100 Airport Ave
Venice Fl. 34285
Or
Partnership Program Coordinator
Episcopal Diocese of Haiti
C/o Lynx Air
P.O. Box 407139
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33340

Check what ERD is up to in Haiti; they're top class! And they were there, on the ground, years before this crisis.

I preached on the weddinng at Cana...

2010-01-19T10:17:00.002-05:00

...this past Sunday. Because of a parish retreat I was leading during the week-end on "Reclaiming Holiness", I had to finish it early. I had it ready by Thursday evening which really is ideal to let my own ideas settle and be able to just do some fine-tuning on Saturday evening. I wish I could remember that next time I procrastinate writing a sermon...

This one brought strands that matter to me nicely together. I was setting a synchronic socio-cultural context to the passage in order to highlight both Jesus' self-revelation to his in-group and the mother of Jesus' teaching us intercessory prayer.

You can read that sermon on the OHC Sermons blog.

And now, off to finish preparing this week's Prayerful Stitches retreat...

Blessings!

Best wishes for the New Year!

2010-01-03T21:44:00.005-05:00

May the new year bring you health, peace, serenity and joy.

This past year was a hinge year for me. In November, I made my life profession of the Benedictine vow. Here I am; a "monastic lifer", as some of my brothers like to say. And on New Year's Eve, I made my oath of naturalization as an American citizen (my prior writes about it in his blog, this week).

These are two rites of passage that underscore a long progression within me in the last 11 years. I'm very happy of the freedom these two commitments give me; the freedom to answer God more fully.

Thanks to Belgian law's recent evolution, I am now a citizen of both the United States of America and of the European Union. As a visitor to our monastery remarked, we are all citizens of a kingdom that transcends human nations.

I continue various ministries at Holy Cross Monastery. I see a goodly number of people in spiritual direction (about once a month). I am in contact with numerous men exploring the possibility of monastic life for themselves. What a privilege to help all these people to discern God's desire for them.

Recently, I have started visiting a shelter for homeless people and the urban poor. I have great need to connect with the poorer amongst us. With them, I learn so much about solidarity, simplicity and joy. I'm very nearly ashamed that it took me close to 49 years to discover all this concretely.

I have restarted crocheting and knitting with gusto. It helps to see scarves and shawls leaving the shelter on the shoulders of people who seem to enjoy them.

My life of prayer has been difficult this year. I have trouble keeping a meditation and quiet personal prayer practice. I don't worry about it too much and tell myself that it will come back in due time and in the shapes that I will need. However, my prayer of intercession and my prayer in the company of individuals has blossomed.

Each week now, I pray for the people and leaders of a given country. This week, it's for the people and leaders of the Marshall Islands. Last week, it was Malta. I try to inform myself on these countries and the dynamics that shape them. Each time, I become a little more aware of our profound inter-dependence and unity.

In September I made a long visit to my parents whose health necessitated adjustments to the many care-giving interventions that they benefit from at home. Jacques and Liliane Delcourt are a great source of inspiration to me in my religious vows. These two live thoroughly and fully the mariage vows they made to God and one another so long ago. Their respective health show difficult slides but their love and their commitment continue with a beautiful spirit. Wow!

This past summer and fall, I had the great pleasure of seeing many Belgian friends and parents visit me from the old country; friends from university, primary school, from my banking career and from my expat days in NYC. Our monastery's hospitality seems to please many. I'm always filled with joy when I can share a little of my monastic life with friends. Come and see.

I am happy with my life choices, even when, at times, they are quite difficult to keep. Don't hesitate to contact me if you're in need of prayer; that's what I'm here for! And if it's in you, please pray that I may each day, more and more, let God be my guide.

Happy New Year!

Meilleurs voeux pour 2010

2010-01-03T20:16:00.006-05:00

Puisse l'an nouveau vous apporter santé, paix, sérénité et joie.

L'année passée fut une année charnière pour moi. En novembre, j'ai fait ma profession du voeu bénédictin pour le reste de ma vie; me voici "moine a perpet" comme plaisantent certains de mes frères.

Et puis, a la veille de l'an nouveau, j'ai fait le serment qui fait de moi un citoyen américain (mon prieur en touche un mot dans son blog, cette semaine). Ce sont deux rites de passage qui marquent une longue progression en moi ces dernières 11 années. Je suis très heureux de la liberté que me donne ces deux engagements; la liberté de répondre a Dieu plus pleinement.

Aux yeux du droit belge, la double nationalité est possible depuis quelques années. Me voici donc citoyen des États-Unis Amérique et de l'Union Européenne. Comme me le signalait un visiteur de notre monastère; nous sommes tous citoyens d'un royaume qui transcende les nations humaines.

Je continue mes divers ministères a Holy Cross Monastery. Je vois un bon nombre de personnes en direction de conscience (a peu près une fois par mois). Je suis en contact avec de nombreux hommes qui explore la possibilité d'une vie monastique. Quel privilège d'aider toutes ces âmes à discerner le désir de Dieu à leur égard.

Récemment, j'ai commencé à visiter un refuge pour personnes sans domicile fixe ou en logements subsidiés. J'ai grand besoin d'être en relation avec les plus pauvres d'entre nous. J'apprends tellement sur la solidarité, la simplicité et la joie à leur contact. C'est presque honteux d'en être a près de 49 ans pour découvrir tout cela concrètement.

J'ai recommencé à crocheter et tricoter avec entrain. Cela aide de voir écharpes et châles quitter le refuge ou je je travaille une fois par mois aux épaules de gens qui en sont bien contents.

Ma vie de prière fut difficile cette année. J'ai bien du mal à garder une pratique de méditation et de prière personnelle au calme. Je ne m'en fait pas trop et me dit que cela reviendra en son temps et dans les formes qui me seront nécessaires. Cependant, ma prière d'intercession et ma prière en compagnie d'autres personnes s'est épanouie. Chaque semaine, je prie pour les gens et les dirigeants d'un pays donné. Cette semaine, ce sont les îles Marshall. La semaine passée, c'était Malte. J'essaie de m'informer sur le pays et ses dynamiques. Chaque fois, je deviens un peu plus conscient de notre profonde inter-dépendance et unité.

En septembre, j'ai fait une longue visite à mes parents dont la santé nécessitait des ajustements aux multiples soins et interventions a domicile dont ils bénéficient. Jacques et Liliane Delcourt sont une grande source d'inspiration dans mes voeux religieux. Ces deux-là vivent a fond et jusqu'au bout de leur capacités les voeux de mariage qu'ils se sont fait il y a bien longtemps. Leurs santés respectives connaissent de difficiles dérives mais leur amour et leur engagement continuent avec bel esprit. Chapeau!

Cet été et automne, j'ai eu le grand plaisir de voir amis et parents belges me visiter; Robert (de mes jours en sciences-po a l'UCL) et Véro Long-Godin, Bruno (de mes jours d'écoles primaire et secondaire) et Myriam Crabbe-Graulus, ma cousine Marie et Serge Maucci-Laveine. Et puis, pour ma profession de vie, la famille de mon bien-aime frère Benoit et celle de mon amie Véro Biche (de mes jours a Euroclear, Bruxelles et Morgan, New York). Notre hospitalité semble plaire et je suis rempli de joie lorsque je peux partager un peu de ma vie monastique avec vous. Venez voir.

Je suis heureux de mes choix de vie, même lorsqu'ils sont bien difficiles a assumer. N'hésitez pas a me contacter si vous avez besoin de prière; je suis la pour ça! Et si le coeur vous en dit, priez pour moi, que chaque jour, un peu plus, je laisse Dieu être mon guide.

Bonne Année!

Sabbath day

2009-12-21T18:49:00.010-05:00

As Tommaso di Lampedusa had one of his characters say in his novel "The Leopard":

"If you want things to stay as they are, things will have to change"

The quote has become famous beyond its original setting (where Lampedusa's fictional prince referred to the maintenance of the privileges and lifestyle of 19th century Sicilian aristocracy amidst the fast-changing Italy of the Risorgimento).

If we want to have a thriving humanity chatting about the weather in centuries to come, things will have to change. They'll have to change in order for the weather to remain sufficiently unchanged to be something we can all live with. In Copenhagen, in the last couple of weeks, a few things changed about how the world manages the business of being planet Earth. It probably were only the first wobbly steps of a new way of being World together but first steps they were. I read with great interest the report from Copenhagen of an observer making comparisons with the American political system: "The Earthquake in Copenhagen: Reflections on CoP-15 and its Aftermath". It helped me take a longer perspective on what appears to me disappointing results to this important summit.

Luckily, we can all take our cue from "No Impact Man" a.k.a. Colin Beavan who argues that the environmental movement will need to put a keener focus on what you and I can do to make a difference day by day. We don't need to solely put pressure on, or wait for, the halls of power to do the right things. (Colin Beavan blogs about such issues at... "No Impact Man")

Yesterday, Brs. Charles, Jim, Randy and I went to see ''Invictus" (superb, in my opinion). Mid-way through the movie, I found myself doing an arrow-prayer to God for the gifts of visionary leadership and fortitude to be given to more people in positions of authority.

And one way or another, most of us have some authority to exercise. This Clint Eastwood movie shows how Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) and Francois Pienar (Matt Damon) both shouldered the responsibility of leadership even when that meant bucking against the acquired wisdom of mutually alienated communities.

The film's title comes from a poem that inspired Nelson Mandela to fortitude during the long years of cruel imprisonment he endured on Robben Island. It's complex and somber, as you would expect of something that reflects the experience of incarceration.

Br. Randy recounted visiting Robben Island and being invited by the guide to stand for a few minutes in one of those cells to only guess what it must be like to have your fellow humans confine you to such a crushing accommodation (just as you see Matt Damon's character doing in the movie). I am so glad our Order is part of South Africa's momentum toward a new reality.

Nelson Mandela's Cell at Robben Island
Originally uploaded by Planet Janet 111

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley, 1849-1903

As I read myself this poem aloud, I thought of St John of the Cross, a reformer of the Carmelite religious order. While John would have left no doubt as to the Maker of his soul, I find myself thinking of how unbowed he escaped the cell where his brethren confined him. He escaped to eventually succeed in the reform of his religious order. In order for the best charisms of his religious order to stay what they were, he saw that things needed to change and did not let details such as imprisonment detract him from the path. I can see more parallels with Nelson Mandela here.

Come Beloved Lord! Give us strength, give us hope to always follow your Way.

Heavy lifting prayer day...

2009-12-19T19:41:00.016-05:00

Today was the third Saturday of the month. This is the day on which my monastic community observes a monthly peace vigil from matins to midday service. We take turns to pray in the church (or the chapter room as today; for the church was needed for a rehearsal of the Lessons and Carols that Kairos will sing here this Sunday afternoon at 3 p.m.).

Today, after having been prayerfully in conversation with a directee, I went into the (very nippy) chapter room to relieve an older brother who emerged from a pair of blankets at my arrival. I usually pray the last half hour of the morning on peace vigils. I pulled up the hood of my habit over my head, more for some reflected heat than for solitude and went to work on bringing myself to peace, before even attempting to pray for it much beyond the confines of that inner battleground. Eventually, my circles of prayer did extend and I did get to the Middle East. I like doing this last round of prayer vigil because I'm well centered when the tower bell goes off to warn us of the office.

By the grace of God, I am not getting blasé about the list of young men and women's names and places read during the office. It still jars me. and that is good; for war is terrible reality to get used to. The more I go, the more I feel that life is One and executing capital punishment, waging war or not honoring life in all its forms, budding or withering, is leaving deepening scars on our universal soul.

Today, it was the modern saint's reading that particularly grabbed my attention. It was a re-composed excerpt of a Martin Luther King sermon. The whole text of "Remaining Awake During a Great Revolution" is well worth the read (or re-read). How truly prophetic he was! We are still only learning just how connected we all are and how important it is that we put our efforts together to bring about the Great Revolution. Today's news cycle (ever-shrinking welfare reform bill in Washington D.C., non-binding agreement on climate change mitigation in Copenhagen) underlines how far we are from embracing universal welfare as the standard of equity for each and all.

Right after lunch, I drove to the Cedar Street Mission (video) in Kingston. The mission is an initiative of the Woodcrest Community brethren of Church Communities International. Reuben Zimmerman recently wrote about it in their publication The Plough.

This was my second visit to help in offering companionship to the urban poor who frequent the mission. Once again, I was humbled by how disabused I need to be about the poor and my ability to connect with them. I used to think I had something they didn't, that I needed, in my great charity, to impart to them but was too busy so to do.

Now, I find myself learning from the poor true humility, greater solidarity and fuller trust in God. And I keep finding how grasping my hold on things and on attitudes is. Do I really need 5 winter hats in my closet? Why have I hung on to camping gear I'll most probably will never use again? Won't it be better used keeping a homeless person warmer under the bridge? Do I need to know how that scarf I crocheted will be given out? As it happened, I saw the variegated crocheted scarf walk out on the neck of a man who seemed to be pleased with it. Now I know why I unconsciously started knitting two more scarves simultaneously! Thanks Be To God; my well-laid plans needed not come to fruition for good to come out of all this...

And there will be more learning, much more learning, to do in this area. Oh my foolish heart, let the Lord teach you and stop shooting your finger into the air, saying "I know, I know the answer to that one!"

As a case in point, another lesson waited for me at home. At Vespers, the daily office appointed Matthew 25:31-46 as the reading. Well sure, it's an old trope that we all know to be fundamental to Christian ethics. But this time, I heard it with all these faces of people I've come to know a little bit streaming to my mind.

“Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; ³⁵for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, ³⁶I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.”

Yikes! 'Well, not exactly; not often enough; not whole-heartedly. I was busy, Lord! I had so many other things to do, you see...
I had to choke tears at my own cold-heartedness. It's going to be quite a learning process, Lord. Give me strength and keep me going.

And then, as it was the beginning of our worship week (Saturday Vespers starts our new week), I turned my booklet of prayer intentions for the countries of the world to a new land, Mali. I now pray for the people and leaders of a country for a week at a time. It gives me more of a chance to find out a few things about the country and let it claim a bit of me. For a while, I looked for an accurate, complete, up-to-date, objective and concise overview of a country. And it is not without irony that I now admit that I pray the CIA World Factbook.

This week, will you be praying for the people of Mali with me? You'll see those spies are giving you something to mull over.

Thank you, Beloved, for giving me quite a work-out today. And thank you for Tay and Betsy's baby boy being born safe and sound on this wintery day. May their family always know your Presence and be blessed by it.

Words and new words - December 2009

2009-12-10T19:48:00.005-05:00

As I read for pleasure or study, I keep bumping into words I either don't know or don't feel confident about. Below, I note their definition for my future review. I only note those definitions that relate to the context I am encountering (i.e. there may be more meanings to the word). I indicate texts from which I searched for them if I think it reflects things I am ruminating about.

*****

captious
adjective

1: marked by an often ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections
2: calculated to confuse, entrap, or entangle in argument

synonym: critical

This came up in a reading of the Holy Cross Customal (or was it the Rule). I need to make a quick note of where these words crop up...

*****

carnelian
noun

A pale to deep red or reddish-brown variety of clear chalcedony, used in jewelry.

Carnelian
Originally uploaded by Robert Dowell

Carnelian came up somewhere in scripture this past week but I can't trace it exactly. When I found the pictures, I realized that the anglican rosary that I use in choir is probably made of red carnelian beads...

*****

plummet
noun

1: A usually conical metal weight attached to the end of a plumb line. Also called plummet.
2: Something that weighs down or oppresses; a burden.

This came up in an office reading from the book of Zechariah (4:5 - 5:1) at verse 4:10.

*****

hoarfrost
noun

A deposit of interlocking ice crystals (hoar crystals) formed by direct sublimation on objects, usually those of small diameter freely exposed to the air, such as tree branches, plant stems and leaf edges, wires, poles, etc., which surface is sufficiently cooled, mostly by nocturnal radiation, to cause the direct sublimation of the water vapor contained in the ambient air.

From the National Snow and Ice Data Center's glossary

What a delightfully precise word; lacking in poetry, maybe; but my imagination can roam on that. This word kept intriguing me in our Monastic Breviary's version of Psalm 147 (page 157): "He give snow like wool; He scatters hoarfrost like ashes."

He scatters hoarfrost like ashes
Originally uploaded by ditmaliepaard

Community Thanksgivings

2009-11-26T10:33:00.005-05:00

Each year, at Thanksgiving we ask our brothers to read out what they are grafteful for at the time of the Prayers of the People in our daily Eucharist.

It is always time to give thanks to God our Father for all his gifts so freely bestowed upon us, but particularly on this national holiday of gratitude. Thank you to each and every one of you for your prayers and support to our monastery's life and ministries.

Our brothers’ thanksgivings:

Saying "Thanks!"
a few years ago, on the occasion of the inauguration
of the Douglas Brown memorial patio
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Rafael
I am thankful for my Family, for the people who are kind to me and for life.

Charles
I am thankful for the gift of Monastic Vocation
I am thankful for reconciliation and reunion with family
I am thankful for those who have the gift of Spiritual Direction and offer it to the Body of Christ
I am thankful for the gift of Contemplation given to us all through the infilling of God's Spirit

Ronald
I am thankful for each new day and laughter.

Bede
I am thankful for the physical healing granted to me and for the sense of returning energy and pleasure in life and work and I am very grateful for the spirit moving in our community at the present time - for love, for joy in ministry and prayer.

Robert
I am thankful for the spiritual leadership of Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury, both within the Anglican Communion and in today's world.

Scott
I am grateful for Bernard's life profession and for the other men who are discerning a vocation to life in the Order of the Holy Cross.
I am grateful for the joy that Sr Hildegard, feline/OHC bring to my life (and would be even more grateful if she would widen her horizons a tad...)
I am grateful for the music we share at Holy Cross.
I am grateful for the ways we have been able to make our buildings more hospitable and sustainable.
I am grateful for the joys and challenges of living in community.

Adam
I am thankful for all those who consider offering themselves to the monastic life.

Lary
I am grateful for the beauty of creation, for the salvation of the human race, and for the hope of glory.

Andrew
I give thanks for memories full of joy and pain - the fullness of life; I give thanks for new journeys and new doorways that open into whatever God offers; I give thanks for loving brothers here and abroad.

Bernard
I am grateful for the love, trust and nurture this monastic community has given me along the path to Life Profession. I am grateful for the nurture we are giving to men considering this vocation.

Randy
I am thankful for the grace of going further along in the adventure of spiritual and community life and for the brothers, friends, and family with whom to journey.

Jim
I am thankful for the gift of faith, of this community, and of my family. I am grateful for the call to a monastic life, for the gift of prayer, for the privilege of serving God's people in our Guest House, in St. Raphael's and in Ecclesia Ministries, for so much healing and for God's abundant, overflowing love.

What are you grateful for today?

125 years ago...

2009-11-25T11:44:00.006-05:00

...James Otis Sargent Huntington, was the first monk to make his Life Profession into the Order of the Holy Cross which he was founding.

James Otis Sargent Huntington

From "Holy Cross - A Century of Anglican Monasticism" by Br. Adam Dunbar McCoy, OHC, 1987.

At 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday, November 25, 1884, in the Chapel of the Sisters of St. John Baptist, 233 East 17th Street at Stuyvesant Square, the service of Fr. Huntington's profession took place. Present were forty-one priests, including leading figures as Morgan Dix, Rector of Trinity Church, Arthur Ritchie of St. Ignatius Church and John Shackleford of the Church of the Redeemer. The Sisters of St. John Baptist were all there, and seminarians from General Seminary, and many others. Charles T. Quintard, Bishop of Tennessee, was in the sanctuary; Bp. Huntington, Fr. Huntington's father, presided at the eucharist; Dr. Houghton, Rector of the Church of the Transfiguration and spiritual director of the Order preached the sermon. And Henry Codman Potter, Assistant Bishop of New York, received Fr. Huntington's vows.

Bishop Potter questioned Fr. Huntington closely as to the meaning of the vows he was taking upon himself, giving him an ebony cross as a reminder of his poverty and his only possession, a cincture to remind him of chastity, and the Rule for obedience. The hymn Veni Creator was sung, Bishop Potter took Fr. Huntington by the right hand and declared him admitted to the Order of the Holy Cross.

The cross he received was the plain black ebony cross of the novices of the Community of St. John Baptist, and still signifies the Order's enduring filial relationship to the St. John Baptist Sisters.

And so, Fr. Huntington became the first Episcopal priest to take the threefold monastic vow in an American religious community. Three bishops of the Church witnessed and consented to his vow in a service well advertised and attended by a large number of clergy. It was not an official act of the Church because it was not included in the Book of Common Prayer or in canon law. But it was also not forbidden by them. It was authorized, witnessed and consented to by the Church in every way short of official sanction.

The tiny community returned to 13th Street, Fr. Huntington now officially its Superior and only permanent member, and quietly took up its work again at the Holy Cross Mission.

Episcopal Cafe's The Soul blog mindfully quoted an excerpt about Fr. Huntington from The Episcopalians by David Hein and Gardiner H. Shattuck, Jr., 2004.

Huntington, an Anglo-Catholic, was as theologically conservative as he was socially liberal. He taught that the sacramental life was the motivating force behind the reconciliation of all races and classes. He also embraced monasticism in large part because of his commitment to the world beyond the monastery walls. Only through rigorous self-denial and total devotion of self, he believed, could one truly serve the poor and work to ameliorate the problems of society. During the summer of 1889, he worked as a common laborer among farmworkers in western New York to understand their condition more fully. Huntington’s reading tastes were wide-ranging; he read not only theology and church history but also the latest work of socialist and progressive writers. He campaigned for better conditions for working men and women, and he longed to see the church become, in his words, “the great Anti-Poverty Society.” The church must be on the side of the poor, he said, “if she is going to live at all.”

And Br. James Randall Greve, OHC, powerfully preached in St Augustine's Church at Holy Cross Monastery in West Park as to the significance of Fr. Huntington's legacy to us today.

Happy Anniversary Holy Cross! May St Benedict and blessed James Huntington intercede that their monks may put in an other 125 years of good work in the building of the Kingdom of God.

Thank you, Grahamstown Brothers!

2009-11-24T11:47:00.007-05:00

Brother Robert James Magliula, OHC, loves to draw with pastels and is good at it; very good!

In early November the council of the Order of the Holy Cross was meeting at our monastery here in West Park. Br. Timothy, the prior of our Grahamstown, South Africa, monastery was here for those meetings. That week also happened to be the week I would make my Life Profession.

On the morning of my profession, Timothy came up to my floor, in the enclosure, and while still in the morning silence handed me a large flat present with a big smile on his face. After matins, I got back to my cell and opened the package to discover the Madonna in Green.

Madonna in Green - by Br. James Robert Magliula, OHC
Originally uploaded by bdelcourt

She graces my wall ever since and I often pray with her for the unity, peace and serenity of mankind. What a beautiful present my South Africa brothers gave me. Thank you, brothers. That was a smart move, by the way; you're even more often in my prayers now... ;-)

Check out Br. Robert James' drawings on a Flickr set that I have dedicated to his work. It tells such powerful stories about the people of Grahamstown and my Brothers' engagement for their commonweal.

Words and new words - November 2009

2009-11-22T20:55:00.009-05:00

May our cattle be fat and sleek
Originally uploaded by Stephanie Brandt

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apothegm

noun
a short, pithy, and instructive saying or formulation : aphorism

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omphaloskepsis

noun
contemplation of one's navel as an aid to meditation; also : inertia

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sleek

adjective
a smooth and glossy, as if polished
b having a smooth well-groomed look
c healthy-looking

Psalm 144:14
May our barns be filled to overflowing with all manner of crops; *
may the flocks in our pastures increase by thousands and tens of thousands;
may our cattle be fat and sleek.

******

licentious

adjective
a. lacking legal or moral restraints; especially: disregarding sexual restraints
b. marked by disregard for strict rules of correctness

******

sway

noun
a. a controlling influence
b. sovereign power : dominion
c. the ability to exercise influence or authority : dominance

From a compline hymn:
“empires pass away but God’s kingdom stands and grows for ever till all thy creatures own thy sway.”

******

Happy "lexicophily"!

The Kingdom of God is close at hand

2009-11-22T20:54:00.001-05:00

Today (Sunday 22 November) was the feast of Christ the King. I had found out late that I was due to preach this morning (an internal communication oversight). A year or two ago, I would have panicked and asked to be relieved of that duty. This time I took it on. The sermon got several reactions which I always take as a good sign.

Maybe I knew I was ready to do this sort of last minute job. I discovered the texts Friday night, went on with many appointments on Saturday, and read several sermons and commentaries on these texts. I have started using a new commentary that looks very promising; it's called "Feasting on the Word".

Somehow, I found a thread through all three texts and a link to a church-wide endeavor I hold dear (the Episcopal participation in the ONE campaign to eradicate extreme poverty).

I chose to explore how the human concept of kingdom may not be what God would have in mind if describing the covenant with humanity.

Tonight, as I watched a Star Trek Enterprise episode (The Aenar), I was reminded of the scales at which humans can imagine God's creation and the effect that has on the meaning of God's covenant with humanity.

And this reminded me of a Charles and Ray Eames video that, presumably without any spiritual ambition, had a deep impact on me spiritually. I hope you may enjoy it too; it definitely has a "vintage" quality to it (1977).

The Power of Ten - Charles and Ray Eames

The future of the Hudson Valley

2009-11-12T19:33:00.009-05:00

Two weeks before my Life Profession, I was granted several days of retreat in a hermitage along the Hudson, a few miles to the north of our monastery. I spent the time on my own, walking, reading, praying, crocheting, fixing simple meals and paying attention to the surrounding landscape and wildlife. At night, I would lie in bed looking at the stars trough the skylight and give thanks for the many blessings of this happy monk's life.

On the last day of my retreat, Br. Scott picked me up to go home. While we had breakfast at the Port Ewen Diner (small, non-descript, scrumptious), he told me about a river ride he was taking later that day with members of ROAR.

ROAR -- which stands for Religious Orders Along the (Hudson) River -- consists of members of religious orders that own thousands of acres of property along or near the Hudson River banks. They have developed a philosophy of protecting the land, water, animals and plants on their properties and in the valley. It was founded in 1998. Its members are involved in open space preservation and other environmental causes, recognizing that what happens to their properties will affect many who live and work in the Hudson Valley.
(sorry, no ROAR website to direct you to)

A view of the Hudson - looking South from the Walkway Over the Hudson
Originally uploaded by Cloister Walk

Scott told me that, because of a couple of cancellations, I should be able to hitch a ride on the Riverkeeper patrol boat that was going to carry the ROAR participants on a discovery of the Hudson River between Rondout (port area of Kingston) and West Park.

That afternoon, we met with nuns from several religious orders and a woman who works on the Peter Maurin farm of the Catholic Worker Movement, in Marlboro. We were greeted by John Lipscomb, the Riverkeeper Boat Captain. John patrols the river from NYC harbor to Albany for several months each year. He knows the river ecosystem like no other and can tell several tales of unbridled disrespect for the Clean Water Act that Riverkeeper helps make more effective in the Hudson Valley.

That glorious fall afternoon on the river helped grow my deep love and awestruck appreciation of God's handiwork in this little piece of Mother Earth. It also gave me the niggling sense that petty economic concerns continue to threaten the stewardship of the valley for the commonweal. We need to remain vigilant if we are to give the valley a continued shot at healing itself and us with it.

So much ever-changing beauty
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Rather than dwell on what's wrong with our environmental enforcement (check Riverkeeper's site for that and much more), I want you to enjoy a vision of what our generation can do so that New Yorkers of 2109 will enjoy a fully restored and amazing natural resource for the greater common good of all. The following text is excerpted from Riverkeeper's spring 2009 newsletter. That newsletter featured a "State of the River 1609-2109" report. The report coincided with the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's exploration of the river that would eventually bear its name.

*****

From Riverkeeper.org's State of the Hudson River 1609-2109 (© COPYRIGHT: ASHFORD7.COM)

FUTURE

Given the millions of years that the Hudson Valley has been forming and the thousands of years since the river cut through it, the next hundred
amounts to no more than a ripple. With a lot of hard work and a little luck, the river will be healthier

The average temperature of the Hudson has been increasing over the last seven decades. That could have a catastrophic effect on the ecosystem. If we still have
large, centralized power plants 100 years from now, they won’t be fossil-fuel burning or nuclear-powered. With river water no longer used as coolant, young-of-the-year
herring, shad, and eel will swim past tomorrow’s renewable power sources unmolested.

Solar and geo-thermal energy will supply some of the valley’s needs. More importantly, retrofits and highly efficient new designs will make wasteful energy consumption
obsolete. Instead of condominium sprawl eating up open acres, smart growth will return us to the towns and cities we already have: remaking them as
more self-sufficient, sustainable communities. Strip malls and over-developed office parks will be a thing of the past. All along the river, sewage and water systems will have been updated.

And, the transportation infrastructure will serve a stabilized population that does more work locally. When we do travel, it will be in vehicles that use non-polluting, renewable fuels. In New York City, the skyline will have turned green. Rooftop gardens will absorb snow and rain. Instead of flushing out overburdened storm and sewer systems, the water will feed vegetables and flowers, keeping buildings cooler and electricity bills lower.

And the shoreline will have softened, too. Waterways abandoned to polluters – Newtown Creek, the Gowanus Canal, the marshes across the way the marshes along the Jersey side of the Hudson – will once again be viable, hosting industry and waterfront parks without destroying habitat. The harbor’s once great oyster beds will flourish in a clean harbor. With new generations who understand our need for a healthy river, the Hudson will continue its astonishing recovery.

Restored tributaries will feed fresh water into the system each spring. Shorelines will include more set-aside, preserved land. Under an agreement establishing sensible limits on off-shore fishing, shad, herring, and blue crab will have returned in large numbers: the river will be approaching the productivity it had before Hudson’s discovery. A carefully managed commercial fishery will not only boost river economies and provide fresh, healthy, local food but preserve traditional skills.

A kid growing up in the valley will once again know how to fish for shad and set crab traps. More people will be using the river with less impact. Small boats will be a regular sight in New York Harbor. Swimming beaches will dot the Hudson shoreline from Staten Island to north of Hudson Falls. Eco-cruises through the Highlands and into the mid-Hudson will be a growing source of local income. With General Electric’s PCB mess finally cleaned up, the commercial and recreational fisheries for striped bass, shad, perch and eel will be thriving, stimulating the economies of towns and cities all along the river.

From above Albany down through the islands and marshes that reach to Tivoli Bay, the river will look almost as it did before 1609. Osprey will nest in protected marshlands. Campers will be able to help scientists with annual fish counts: their seines gleaming with shrimp, hog chokers, shiners, and pipe fish. From inland acres protected to guarantee clean drinking water, deer and bear and the reintroduced cougar will make their way to the shores of the river. Otters will be plentiful, and 12-foot long sturgeon will break the surface of the water. It may be optimistic to think that four centuries of damage can be healed in a quarter of that time.

But one of the lessons learned since Riverkeeper was founded is the estuary’s startling ability to rejuvenate itself. Our job as stewards is and will be to protect it, to give it a chance to come back, to recognize that our future is inextricably entwined with the river’s.

Saying Yes

2009-11-09T12:15:00.005-05:00

On Wednesday 04 November, a great number of souls assembled at Holy Cross Monastery to witness and participate in my profession of the Life Vow in the Order of the Holy Cross.

It was a joyous and wondrous day. I feel so lucky and happy to have taken this next step into God's embrace. It's like a liberation; a further permission to proceed in hope, faith and love into the great unknowable that is God.

Invocation of the Holy Spirit
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Thank You to each and every one of you:
- You who prayed for me,
- You who were in thought with me,
- You who came to worship and celebrate with us,
- You who wrote to me, hugged me, complimented me,
- You who gave me something you wanted me, the monastery or a charity, to have to honor my making the life vow,
- You who supported, support, will support, my vocation, knowingly or unwittingly.

And in each and every one of you, I thank God, whose loving self-giving I recognize there.

Sr. Mary and Br. Bernard greet at the peace
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

My friend, Sister Hildegard Magdalen Pleva, OSsR, preached a beautiful homily. It spoke to my soul and to the heart of many. Thank you, Hildegard (whose blog also is well worth a read).

My brother, Brother James Randall Greve, OHC, combined the duties of thurifer with those of photo reporter to great effect. Thank you, Randy (whose picture sets delight virtual and in person visitors to our monastery alike).

You can also peruse a simile of the booklet used at the Eucharist during which I made my profession of the life vow.

Simile booklet for the Eucharist at my Life Profession

2009-11-09T12:04:00.004-05:00

For those who might like this, here is the text of the booklet that was used for the Eucharist during which I made my life profession of the monastic vow. You'll miss the smells and bells, of course; and the music and text of the hymns. But you can catch up on the visuals on Br. Randy's picture gallery. Blessings.

*****

Celebrant - Br. Bede Thomas Mudge, OHC

Gospeler – Br. Reginald Martin Crenshaw, OHC

Homilist - Sr. Hildegard Pleva, OSsR

Server, Master of Ceremony - Br. James Michael Dowd, OHC

Thurifer - Br. James Randall Greve, OHC

Organist - Mr. Erich C. Borden

The Order of the Holy Cross

Holy Eucharist

and

Life Profession of

Br. Bernard Jean Delcourt, OHC

Wednesday, November 04, 2009, 11 a.m.

Church of St Augustine

Holy Cross Monastery

West Park New York
Note: S music is found at the beginning of the Hymnal 1982

Organ Prelude – Erich’s choice

*****

The Word of the Lord

Entrance Hymn - # 665 – All my hope on God is founded

Celebrant Blessed be the one, holy, and undivided Trinity.

People Glory to God for ever and ever.

Celebrant Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our
hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Collect for Purity)

Canticle - # S-278 – Glory to God in the highest

Celebrant Almighty and merciful God, it is only by your gift that your faithful people offer you true and laudable service: Grant that we may run without stumbling to obtain your heavenly promises; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (The Collect for Proper 26)

Celebrant The Lord be with you.

People And also with you.

*****

The Lesson after each lesson the reader says

Romans 8:18-27

Reader The Word of the Lord.

People Thanks be to God.

Sequence Hymn - # 686 - "Thy kingdom come!"

Then, all standing, the Gospel is read

Server The Holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to…

Luke 11:9-13

People Glory to you, Lord Christ.

after the Gospel

Server The Gospel of the Lord.

People Praise to you, Lord Christ.

*****

The Homily Sr. Hildegard Magdalen Pleva, OSsR

*****

The Apostles’ Creed

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit,
and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

*****

The Profession

Petition

The annually professed member comes and stands before the Superior at the altar

Professed: Father Superior, by the grace of God I, Bernard Jean Delcourt, have come to know the life and ministry of this community, and I desire to dedicate my whole life to God and his people. Since my brothers have received my request and given their approval, I now ask, of my own free will, to make my Life Profession as a monk of the Order of the Holy Cross, for the praise of God and the service of the Church.

Superior: My brother, we welcome you in great joy, because in your offering we recognize the presence of the Risen Christ in our midst.

All: Thanks be to God.

Interrogation

Superior: Bernard, through Baptism you are dead to sin and risen in the Lord. Are you resolved to pursue this consecration to its fulfillment in your life by undertaking Monastic Profession?

Professed: I am.

Superior: Do you believe that God has called you to make this dedication of your life?

Professed: I do.

Superior: Will you strive constantly for love of God and neighbor by zealously following the Gospel and the monastic Rule as lived in this community?

Professed: I will.

Superior: You who are gathered here have heard our brother’s desire to commit his life wholly to God in the Order of the Holy Cross. Will you uphold and strengthen him in the years ahead?

All: We will, by God’s help.

Invocation of the Holy Spirit

All, who are able, kneel, while the Professed prostrates himself in front of the altar.

Veni Creator Spiritus – Hymn # 502 – Come Holy Spirit

A time for silent prayer follows.

Profession

All stand, except the Professed, who rises to his knees and reads the Instrument of Profession, written in his own hand.

In the Name of God, Amen.

I, Bernard Jean Delcourt, desiring to consecrate myself fully and entirely to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, make to Almighty God, before the whole company of heaven, and in the presence of you, my brothers, the threefold vow of stability, conversion of my ways to the monastic way of life, and obedience, in the Order of the Holy Cross, steadfastly intending to keep and observe the same for the rest of my life, the Lord being my helper.

And I pray for the grace and heavenly assistance of the Holy Spirit, for the intercession of Blessed Mary, of our Holy Father Benedict, of James our founder and of all the saints; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Professed goes to the altar. He signs the Instrument of Profession and places it on the altar. He then returns to stand in front of the altar.

The “Suscipe” (Ps 118:116) is recited responsorially by the Professed and the Monastic Choir.

Professed: Receive me, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Monastic Choir: Receive me, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Professed: Uphold me, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Monastic Choir: Uphold me, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Professed: Give me strength, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Monastic Choir: Give me strength, Lord, according to your promise, that I may live, and let me not be disappointed in my hope.

Consecration of the Professed

The Professed kneels in front of the Superior

Superior: God and Father of all, we praise you for your infinite love in calling us to be a holy people in the Kingdom of your son, Jesus our Lord, who is the image of your eternal and invisible glory, the first born among many brothers, and the head of the Church. We thank you that by his death he has overcome death, and having ascended into heaven, poured out his gifts abundantly upon your people, making some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry and the building up of the Body. Pour out now, O God, upon Bernard Jean, the grace and the power of your presence. Strengthen him to proclaim your gospel of salvation, and to give himself without measure to your kingdom. And in all things, give him that transparency of life which will show forth your glory to the world, proclaim your love to all people, and honor you in all his works; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Presentation of the Cross and the Rules

The Superior gives the cross to the newly professed saying:

Receive this cross, the symbol of the Passion of our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, and learn from him death to self and the triumph of resurrection.

The Superior gives a copy of the Rule of St Benedict to the professed saying:

Receive the Rule of St Benedict. Many saints have been formed by it. Be faithful to the tradition now passed on to you.

The Superior gives a copy of the Rule of Father Huntington to the professed saying:

Receive the Rule of James, our Founder. May it guide you in learning true obedience to the will of God, which is both an acceptable sacrifice and thanksgiving to him.

The newly life professed is sprinkled with holy water and then stands. The Superior presents the newly life professed to the congregation.

A greeting of peace follows.

*****

The Prayers of the People

Celebrant Brothers and sisters, Jesus was crucified in faithfulness to the cause of love and justice that all might be reconciled in peace. Let us pray that through the Cross of Christ his example may be realized in our world and our lives.

Silence

Server As Jesus was lifted high upon the cross of self-sacrifice that he might draw the whole world to himself, may we take up our cross and follow him in pursuit of the work of reconciliation in the world. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Let us pray for the poor, the hungry and the neglected, that their cries for daily bread may inspire works of mercy among those to whom much has been given.

Silence

Server Jesus calls us to offer food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted. May God’s Spirit so move our hearts; that, following in the steps of Jesus, we may give of ourselves in the service of others until poverty and hunger cease in all the world. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Let us pray for an end to the divisions and inequalities that scar creation, particularly the barriers to freedom faced by God’s children throughout the world because of gender, sexual orientation, race, class, or creed; that all may have equality in pursuit of the blessings of creation.

Silence

Server O God, in whom there is neither male nor female, Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free: unite the wills of all peoples that the walls which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; so that all may live together in justice and peace. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Let us pray for an end to the desecration of God’s creation, that creation’s fruit might be shared equally with all.

Silence

Server Almighty God, you created the world and gave it into our care: inspire us with wisdom to share the riches of creation that all may be empowered to seek freedom from poverty, famine and oppression. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Let us pray for the departed, especially our sisters and brothers who have died as a result of poverty, hunger, disease, violence, or hardness of the human heart.

Silence

Server Almighty God, through the resurrection of Jesus, you revealed that death is never your last word. We commend to your mercy all who have died as a result of the brokenness of our world; and we pray that all may share in the joy of your heavenly reign. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Let us pray for all those connected to the Order of the Holy Cross, past, present and future; for its leaders, its members, its friends, relatives and associates, for its guests, for the participants in its ministries, for its staff and service providers, for its donors and volunteers, for its departed ones.

Silence

Server God who dreams and delights in humanity’s destiny, make us instruments of your Love. God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant All are invited to offer petitions, intercessions, and thanksgivings.

After others prayers have been offered, the Celebrant concludes:

God, in your mercy,

People Hear our prayer.

Celebrant Eternal God, in your kin_dom no sword is drawn but the sword of righteousness, no strength known but the strength of love. So mightily spread abroad your Spirit, that all peoples may be gathered together and reconciled under the banner of your love and justice.

People That me all may be One. Amen.

*****

The Great Thanksgiving

Offertory Hymn - # 475 – God himself is with us

Celebrant The Lord be with you.

People And also with you.

Celebrant Lift up your hearts.

People We lift them to the Lord.

Celebrant Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.

People It is right to give our thanks and praise.

Sanctus - # S-130 – Holy, holy, holy Lord

The Celebrant continues with the Eucharistic prayer.

Celebrant As our Savior Christ has taught us we now pray:

Our Father - # S-148

Fraction Anthem - # S-164 – Jesus, Lamb of God: have mercy on us

Communion

All baptized Christians are welcome to partake of communion. If you cannot or do not wish to take communion, but would like a blessing, come forward to the priest and cross your forearms over your chest with your fingers towards your shoulders; the priest will know to pray a blessing over you instead of giving you communion.

*****

After Communion

Celebrant Let us pray.

All Eternal God, Heavenly Father, you have graciously accepted us as living members of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ, and you have fed us with spiritual food in the Sacrament of his Body and Blood. Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Deacon Let us bless the Lord.

All Thanks be to God.

Procession - # 366 (first 4 verses) - Holy God we praise thy Name

*****

Postlude – J.S. Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565

Happy Anniversary, Holy Cross!

2009-11-01T22:40:00.004-05:00

We started our week of celebrations of the 125th anniversary of the Order of the Holy Cross at the monastery with a dedicatory recital of our Rogers Organ. Mr. Erich C. Borden played a beautiful program which had his brother Scott, our Br. Scott OHC, beaming throughout.

Many thanks to the generosity of Dr. Lalitha Manoharan who donated the Rogers Organ and to the Rev. Jane Borden (mother of Erich and Scott) who donated the beautifully crafted Pipe Facade.

Thanks to Erich's inspired play, I discovered the Litanies of Jehan Alain with delight. Here is a version of them by Jehan Alain's own sister Marie-Claire.

And if you're in NYC on Sunday, November 8, 2009, at 4 p.m., why don't you plan to join us for the Solemn Vespers of James Otis Sargent Huntington, Father Founder, at the Church of St Luke in the Fields, 487 Hudson Street, New York, NY?

Holy Cross Companion Dr. Esther de Waal will make an address on this occasion. And in good Holy Cross tradition, a reception will follow.

Ad multos annos!

My Life Profession - you're invited!

2009-09-27T10:28:00.004-05:00

In the presence of my Holy Cross Brothers (and also of my beloved biological one, who'll fly in from Belgium with his family), I will soon make my life profession of the Benedictine Vow to Almighty God in our monastic church of St Augustine, at Holy Cross Monastery, West Park.

The profession will take place during the mass, starting at 11 a.m. on Wednesday 04 November. A festive meal will follow.

Our constitutional process and my life situation have made it difficult for me to send out invitations until now. If you should like to attend this profession of the vow, just let our Guesthouse Office know so that we may have the appropriate seating and refreshments (845-384-6660 ext 1 or 'guesthouse at hcmnet.org'). Lori Callaway, our Guesthouse Manager, is in the office Tuesdays to Saturdays, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

It thank God for the many friends, near and far, whose prayer and love sustain me. I look forward to seeing you at our monastery, whether on the 4th of Nov or another time.

Peace,

Bernard

Chocolate nations of the world, unite!

2009-08-16T20:45:00.001-05:00

I unwittingly started a "nations of the choco-world" discussion with a post on my Facebook profile linking an article about health benefits of chocolate consumption.

When I first arrived in the US, I was dismayed by the quality of the chocolates most widely available. Chocolate was mostly available in candy bar confections or in milk chocolate form. Hardly something to keep this native Belgian choco-happy.

In the 11 years I have lived here, things have slightly improved on the chocolate front. More quality chocolate is becoming more widely available.

It helps that studies are increasingly noting health benefits to a regular but moderate chocolate consumption with higher benefits going to dark chocolate (less sugar, higher content of cocoa).

Good chocolate also uses cocoa butter instead of other vegetable fats; it's more expensive to make it that way, but the look, taste and texture of the chocolate is worth it.

Easter at Marcolini
Originally uploaded by G'z

Still, sourcing good chocolate requires effort and research in most places but big cities. Here is a good online place to learn about good chocolate, and indulge, if necessary...

From their offering, I know and love the following chocolates from experience: Sharffen Berger and Chocolove (USA), Callebaut, Cote d'Or and Galler (Belgium), Michel Cluizel and Valrhona (France), Lindt (Switzerland).

And for further inspiration, check out pictures from a top chocolatier's work; Pierre Marcolini. He started his career in Brussels a couple of decades ago. And then, look at the grandaddy of them all; Neuhaus. Most of the shop pictures are of the mid-19th century flagship in the Galeries St-Hubert, one of the first (if not the first) shopping arcades in Europe.

Notice how important good chocolate is to Belgians to support outfits that look more like a Tiffany's jewellery than a snack bar. You'll have to travel to Brussels to try Marcolini's stuff, but if you're there, checking out his shops and trying his ware is worth the detour. And then, Neuhaus is present in many American cities now.

Christmas at Neuhaus
Originally uploaded by amit_kulsh

Mmmh! Am I getting choco-hungry yet? It's a good thing I'm going to visit my folks in Belgium soon... The Brothers usually are keen to see me return because they know that some of the good stuff is coming home with me.

Thank God for the fruit of Theobroma Cacao, the cocoa tree, whose genus name means "divine smell".

Gratitude List - at the end of Long Retreat

2009-08-07T10:17:00.010-05:00

Beloved Lord,

I am grateful for the many blessings of this summer. In particular, I thank you for:

- my university friend Robert visiting my parents with his wife to show them the pictures of their visit here in early July. Robert lost his dad this year. I thought it so warmly giving of him that he would want to visit my dad who gets so little chance to spend time with me. They had a great time together.

- reconnecting with line-drying laundry. I got a simple wooden drying rack. I had so much joy at not using a drying machine and seeing the sun and the breeze doint their schtick. The clothes smell fresh and feel great to wear. And it helps reducing my carbon footprint. So simple, so good; I love it!

- completing a good book that's an introduction to Centering Prayer, but also links it to some Lectio Divina and journaling.

- finally starting the assembly of variegated crochet squares I started shortly before entering the monastery to make a child's blanket. The squares stood on a shelf for years, as a reproach to my interrupted creativity.

- having a spiritual director that keeps me real and helps me notice when I'm back to my old crap...

- reading up on monastic profession in a 1997 copy of Word and Spirit and in the constitutions of the Cistercians and various Benedictine congregations.

- having a long phone chat with my Brother Robert Magliula. Boy, o Boy, do I miss him. As a reminder of what a gift he is in my life, and with his help, I have started a picture gallery of his pastel drawings.

- watching the first fours Bill Moyers mid-80's interviews of Joseph Campbell called The Power of Myths.

- praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament in an optional Holy Hour. Br. James had organized it in the crypt chapel of St Michael, on the feast of Transfiguration, last Thursday. I so needed that reminder of your real Presence in my life, Beloved.

- finding joy in human ingenuity and creativity; as in the following video of a capella group Perpetuum Jazzile found on my friend Roy's Facebook page. Remember Toto and the 80's? It starts very softly; you may want to crank the sound up.

Thank you Beloved for reminding me often that it's in my heart and my gut (and "not so much" in my head) that I know the truth of your Love and my need for trusting You in all things.

A summerific retreat day

2009-08-03T19:35:00.008-05:00

The Heart of Space website (ambient / space / contemplative music) always features a word about the weather in San Francisco, where they are based. Yesterday's word was "Summerific" and I loved it. Well today's West Park weather was summerific.

Tonight, as we ate our supper in the refectory. There were one or two monks per large round table, all facing the outside panorama from our octagonal dining-room. I noticed the aviary feeding fest that was going on over the meadow. Swallows and dragonflies were zooming back and fro.

The swallows would make parabolic flights from one end of the meadow to the next, peaking over the top of the trees, before turning back, and swooping down towards the grass. The dragonflies have more steady flight paths. but they would skip left and right from time to time. In the grass, a deer was oblivious to it all; quietly grazing, as the setting sun made her coat look bright orange.

I imagine that bugs and mosquitoes are what gets the fest going. I hope they left some for the bats who'll only come out after dusk. I proudly report that I freed two bats this week already. I don't know why, but they love the enclosure. Fortunately for our guests' peace of mind, they don't seem to like the Guesthouse. Even though they haven't applied to the novitiate, a few of them decide to sleep over on our walls.

This morning, I found a "sleeper" in the mailroom. I now have the technique down pat. I get a smallish cardboard box, put it over the bat on the wall and then slide a folder, or clipboard, between the wall and the opening of the box, forcing the bat to wake up, let go of the wall and sending frantic squeaks that must mean something I'm not quite getting. Then I move the whole thing keeping the box opening covered until I reach a window or outside door. Once released, most bats flop wherever they are let go and look miserable and unmoving. But in all cases, they eventually struggle to their wings (if you'll allow the expression) and depart.

Sleeping bat
Originally uploaded by Michand Photo

Thanks be to God for all the critters that eat up mosquitoes! But as Br. Jim is wont to say "People in, critters out!"

I wasn't the only one admiring the beauty of God's creation today. I found beautiful pebble and forest floor pictures on Br. Randy's Flickr gallery tonight. If my back wasn't aching, I'd have been on the kayak today. Hopefully, I'll get back on the river next week.

Sapling in the forest
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Just as I wouldn't advise plucking a bat from the wall with bare hands, I would not suggest touching this sapling with bare hands either. If it has three-fold clusters of three-pointed leaves like this baby above, it very well might be poison ivy.

'See what dangerous lives we monks live in these wild regions of upstate New York?

Luckily, there is also the soothing flapping of the tide on the pebbles at one of our "rock beaches".

At the Hudson Shore 1
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

And in these few days of retreat, I continue to expand my "prayer for all people". I use a set of flip cards my Shalem prayer buddy Suzie gave me. Each has a picture of a country and a short prayer. Today was Laos, so I prayed for the people and the leaders of Laos. I pray that God may inspire whatever it is that God knows is called for in them.

Praying like that heightens my awareness of the world a large. Yesterday, I prayed for Khigistan and, as it happens, my attention was drawn to an article about the recent elections there in "The Economist". Had I not prayed for them, I would have, in all likelihood, skipped the article.

Another way in which I expand my awareness of my neighbors' need for prayer is by visiting regularly David Lynch's Interview Project. There is an obvious conceit behind the whole enterprise. And yet, if you watch a few instances of the interviews, you may, like me, decide that it's an uncanny window in the lives of people I'm unlikely to meet meaningfully most days. It keeps me from developing too insular a view of what life is like. Not bad for a video project...

Just in case you wonder; my prayers of intercession nearly never pray for outcomes. I have developed a dose of distrust in my divine micro-managing abilities... I try to be with the people I pray for, in the presence of God. I trust that God knows best and I trust that the Spirit is teaching my heart whatever it needs to learn there (whether I'm aware of it or not; the latter being what it is most often; I'm not aware of how my heart is re-shaped).

And then, just for the fun of it a video that emboldened my imagination. I have long dreamed of creating a shady canopy above our parking lot that would capture solar energy. I was thinking of something tasteful like this:

picture from http://www.thcahill.com/canopy.html

But then, I saw the following video. Wow! I don't quite see it in West Park but I'd love to charge our next plug-in hybrid car (more dreaming on my behalf) while shopping at Target in this way.

Which brings me back to an article I read today called "Prayer and Imagination". Happy dreams, Everyone!

A thrice-yearly exercise; the Mundi blurb...

2009-07-31T10:37:00.005-05:00

The monastery publishes its newsletter Mundi Medicina three times a year. One of its feature is Newsnotes from the brothers and residents. If you read this blog often, a lot of this may be repetitive. But just the scope of overlooking 4 months' worth of events offered me a few insights as I wrote this. Below, I share the note I just sent to our editor (with a few added links - thank you, web! - and color pictures...).

*****

Today is the last day of July and I’m basking in the quiet of Long Retreat. But our editor, Br. Randy, is expecting a News Note for you Mundi Readers… So, to work.

In case, you’d like to find out more about things I wrote about in my weblog, I quote the date of my blog entry between brackets. You can find these entries through the “blog archive” (scroll down in the right-hand column of the blog).

Since April 04, I have facilitated a few retreats with parish groups or volunteering groups (Library Volunteers). I completed my one year commitment of offering spiritual direction at Yale Divinity School with a 3 day visit of Yale. My best friend Lewis was my guide. He is an enthusiastic alumnus, and had not returned since his studies at the School of Drama (April 27).

In May, we acquired a kayak that was offered to us by my brother Benoît’s family (thanks guys!). I have paddled the river a few times already and a couple of others have too. I enjoy integrating the exercise and the contemplation of beauty. I also took part in a wonderful 4 day Alexander Technique retreat here at the monastery towards the end of May. I had found the technique very helpful in my last few years living in Manhattan to improve the use of my back.

In June, we hosted the annual Chapter of OHC here at West Park(June 10, June 11, June 12, June 13, June 14).

On the tail of this, Brs. Randy, Jim and I went to St Benedict’s Abbey in Atchison, KS, for the Benedictine Juniorate Summer School, a.k.a. “Monk Camp” (June 18, June 23).

Upon my return from “Monk Camp,” I had the joy of a 4 day visit by a Brussels-based Irish friend from my university days. Robert Long and I studied political sciences together at the University of Louvain. He came with most of his family. I enjoyed joking and laughing with his always energetic and bubbly wife Véronique and learning new card games with two of their sons, Julien and Alexandre. They are now strapping teenagers, whom I had last seen as very young boys. We visited the FDR estate and Woodstock while catching up on our lives. We hadn’t seen each other in over 10 years.

July also saw the visits of Br. Vincent Bache, OSB, of St Joseph’s Monastery in Natchez, MS, and of Sr. Mary Klock, RSM, from Merion, PA. Reconnecting with old friends must be one of the things I like most about middle age…

Br. Bernard and Sr. Mary Klock at the end of mass, Sunday 26 July 2009
Picture by Ellie Sulston, Associate of OHC

Throughout this 3 month period, I preached twice, most recently, last Sunday. This was my first time preaching without a fully written text. It was hairy until I started preaching and then it went OK. I think I’ll try that again in the future. There is talk of recording our sermons in the future so maybe not all of these sermons will be lost to our web audience…

I continue to see people in spiritual direction, to accompany men discerning a monastic call and to make weekly updates to our website (keep checking in often, our Associate Tay Moss, is working wonders on that baby).

The Juniors have met with the Junior Guardian, Br. Robert Sevensky, nearly every other week to discuss one or more articles that one of us suggests for study. I offered a couple of articles for exploring a theology of sustainable development, a subject I’m deeply interested in.

Most importantly in these last few months, I asked for and received OHC Council’s approval to seek Life Profession. I’m excited and relieved to have come this far, by the grace of God (including the love of my Brothers, family and friends). Please hold me in prayer as I progress towards this portentous time. God willing, we are thinking of celebrating my profession of the Life Vow on Wednesday 04 November.

*****

Sustainability musings from the last few weeks

2009-07-29T17:44:00.005-05:00

Just when you thought honey bees had had it, comes news that those little helpers are more resilient than we think. I was amused to read a Newsweek article about how diverse Paris suburban honey is. And then I came across the Pollinator Pathways project in Seattle. It reminds me of my godson's brother, Stefaan. He works in Flanders to improve ecological pathways through preserving, re-instating and developing semi-natural habitats along public infrastructure (for example, hedges, tree rows and ditches along roads).

Tigerswallowtail butterfly
in the gardens of Mount Calvary, Santa Barbara, CA, July 2008
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

So thank you to all of you who are lovingly caring for urban oases of green; rooftops, balconies, windowsills, community garden and other minute patches reclaimed for greenery. One of them is our own Br. Carl Sword, OHC, who has a Manhattan-sized version of the hanging gardens of Babylon off his living-room. This of course, points in the direction of developing more green roofs that have so many advantages.

We have played with the thought of turning some of our many flat roofs to green ones here, over our heads, in the monastic enclosure. Not that pollinators are at a loss for plants here, mind you. But then also, we dream of covering the inner courtyards of the enclosure with an overarching clerestory roof with solar panels that would be a game changer in terms of energy efficiency of our buildings.

As I drove home from the optometrist today, I noticed two new large photovoltaic solar arrays on the roof of Gordon Fire Equipment, on Route 9 W. Further North, in the little village of Port Ewen, a solar thermal panel installer has recently set up shop. Little by little, we are all moving in the right direction.

Unfortunately, we should be moving in that direction by leaps and bounds. In case you don't get too upset with catastrophe prognostication, and you have substantial listening time, I highly advise CBC's Climate Wars program. If "An Inconvenient Truth" was a bellwether, this is a fire siren. Unfortunately, Gwynne Dyer doesn't have Al Gore's audience pull power. Climate Wars is originally a book which covers more than the podcast can.

But if you're looking for an intriguing and soul-uplifting piece of good news about our interactions with nature, check out the NY Times Magazines of July 12's article "Watching Whales Watching Us". I nearly cried tears of gratitude remembering two whale-watching trips out of Provincetown, MA, in the weeks after Nine Eleven. The dolphins and whales lifted my soul thanks to the obvious joy of their frolicking around our boat.

The NYT Mag article also reminded me of my aborted sci-fi writing attempt as an adolescent. It was in the 70's and I started writing about a loving gay couple helping out the remnants of humanity to have some form of future as the last emerged pieces of land were disappearing under a flood. The lovers were a marine biologist telepath and a neurologist seeking to merge human minds with the minds of willing and communicating dolphins. I had forgotten about this and I can't remember that we were worrying about global warming back then...

Those were the days of ample imagination. May we, as a species, use God's graces of imagination and ingenuity to make us a species that lives in harmony with itself and the whole of God's creation. As our friends at the Catholic Climate Covenant put it; "Who's Under Your Carbon Footprint?" By the way, there is an ecumenical organization called Greenfaith that's worth your browsing.

May the abundant rains of this Belgian-like summer not cause too much run-off by lack of green roofs...

Gratitude List - so many blessings...

2009-07-14T18:54:00.004-05:00

Beloved Lord Jesus,

I thank you for all there is to be grateful for in my life; and there is so much.

As a token of my gratitude, I keep praying these gratitude lists that only reverberate further and further teaching my heart to grow in your love.

Br. Bernard and Br. James share a laugh
Thanks be to God for Jim's humor and for Randy's keen eye for a good picture
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Today, among many other things to give thanks for, I am grateful for:

- a loving conversation with my cousin Isabelle who lives in Versailles (they celebrate Bastille Day there too, wouldn't you know!),

- an early Monday morning outing on the river with my friend Gwyneth, paddling to Bard Rock across from the monastery, and getting to share hopes and dreams for ourselves, our communities and the world (why stop short from going for the moon?),

- enjoying leftovers from Lori's summer berries shortcakes and black forest gateau (Thank you George, for offering the motive for this further indulgence with your birthday),

- thoughtful, god-loving inquirers who hope to discover if monastic life is what God has in store for them,

-increasing signs of daring leadership near and far.

And thank you to Alex Steffen, at Worlchanging, for writing a stirring request to our president to be the daring leader he can be: President Obama, Lead Us to Copenhagen.

"TBTG" indeed!

Gratitude List - from June to July, from riches to riches

2009-07-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

Beloved Lord,

I thank you for the many blessings that flow through my life. May I always be aware of your boundless love.

I am grateful for:
- mailing my request for American Citizenship tonight,
- kayaking on the Hudson in a glorious 4th of July sun, Saturday morning,
- finishing the luxurious turquoise blue mohair fringes on Eliazabeth's shawl,
(thanks again to Suzie for the gift of yarn),
- enjoying a good meal with Br. Jim after picking him up at Poughkeepsie train station,
- visiting Wilderstein in Rhinebeck yesterday afternoon.

Wilderstein, Rhinebeck
Originally uploaded by lachance

Thank You.

Happy Fourth!

2009-07-04T06:44:00.008-05:00

Fourth of July, Independence Day in the US, and the anniversary of my late grandmother Julienne Delcourt's birthday in 1905. I said a prayer to her this morning that she may intercede for a peaceful and love-filled old age for her two kids, my Dad, Jacques, and my Godmother, Yvette.

Yesterday, we started the refectory reading of 1776 by David McCullough. It sounded promising and a very good continued formation for this "aspirant US citizen" that I am.

Here is the collect for National Days we read from our Monastic Breviary, at matins, this morning:

Lord God almighty, you have made all the peoples of the earth for your glory, to serve you in freedom and in peace; Give to the people of our country a zeal for justice and the strength of forbearance, that we may use our liberty in accordance with your gracious will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives an reigns with you an the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

The Declaration of Independence (high resolution image of the original as an Adobe Acrobat PDF file) published on the 4th of July 1776 is well worth listening to, whether you are American or not: here it is as read on NPR yesterday morning (by a host of their contributors, including foreign correspondents).

As we know only too well, this wonderful experiment in democracy is still ongoing; and hiccups can and do occur. If you listen to the end, you will note that it is still a radical program that holds the current and future governments of the United States to a very high standard of morality.

May almighty God give us the courage to lovingly continue to work towards the greater common good with and for all of humankind.

And here is a little gem as an Independence Day goodie, the collaboration of our Kairos friends and Br. Randy.

Kairos' next concert at the monastery will be on Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 4:00 p.m. They will perform the fourth cantata in their Bach Cantata series, the beautiful Cantata No. 8, Liebster Gott, wann werd ich sterben? with chamber orchestra. The concert will also feature an instrumental work by the Baroque master.

Happy Independence Day!

Words and new words - June 2009

2009-07-01T11:48:00.003-05:00

Br. Bernard in convent church of Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration/Clyde Convent
Pondering the meaning of Mystagogue, maybe? - Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

*****

theodicy:

noun:
defense of God's goodness and omnipotence in view of the existence of evil

This came up in our "Monk Camp" discussion of a homily of Pseudo-Macarius. I couldn't even hear the word right, at first; I thought I'd heard "the odyssey" and that didn't make sense with the context.

More on theodicy at the Catholic Encyclopedia web site - theodicy

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hesychasm:

noun:
an eremitic tradition of prayer in the Eastern Orthodox Church , and some other Eastern Churches of the Byzantine Rite, practised by the Hesychast.

Based on Christ's injunction in the Gospel of Matthew to "go into your closet to pray", Hesychasm in tradition has been the process of retiring inward by ceasing to register the senses, in order to achieve an experiential knowledge of God.

More on hesychasm at Wikipedia - hesychasm

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to vouchsafe:

transitive verb:
1.a : to grant or furnish often in a gracious or condescending manner
1.b : to give by way of reply vouchsafe an explanation>

2 : to grant as a privilege or special favor

*****

prooftext, prooftexting:

A prooftext is a verse or short passage from the Bible used by someone as part of his proof for a doctrinal belief he wishes to substantiate to others.
However, since verses and passages may rely extensively on the context in which they appear for correct interpretation, pulling these out of their context and having them stand alone in a "proof" can, at times, be very misleading.
In addition, a set of such prooftexts can completely ignore other passages which, if added to the mix, might well lead to an entirely different conclusion.
Someone who relies strongly only on a list of prooftexts in order to make a doctrinal argument may have a very weak case for his argument. Noting that a religious teacher relies heavily just on prooftexting is viewed in theological circles as a very negative evaluation.

(from BibleStudy.org's definition of christian terms glossary)

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exhortation:

noun:
language intended to incite and encourage

to exhort:

transitive verb:
to incite by argument or advice : urge strongly <exhorting voters to do the right thing>

intransitive verb:
to give warnings or advice : make urgent appeals

*****

to admonish:

transitive verb:
1.a : to indicate duties or obligations to
1.b : to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner
2 : to give friendly earnest advice or encouragement to

*****

to chastise:

transitive verb:
1 : to inflict punishment on (as by whipping)
2: to censure severely : to castigate

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epektasis:

noun:
in the thought of Gregory of Nyssa; constant progress in virtue and goldiness. This concept is realted to theosis and divinization.

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mystagogue:

noun:
1 : one who initiates another into a mystery cult
2 : one who understands or teaches mystical doctrines

I found this word used in reference to Gregory of Nyssa.

In the early church, this same concept was used to describe the bishop, who was responsible for seeing to it that the catechumens were properly prepared for baptism. Homilies given to those in the last stages of preparation, and which deal with the Sacraments are called "Mystagogical Homilies." Sometimes these mystagogical instructions were not given until after the catechumen had been baptized. The most famous of these mystagogical works are the "Mystagogical Homilies" of St. Cyril of Jerusalem, and the work, "On the Mysteries" by St. Ambrose of Milan.
(from Wikipedia's entry on mystagogue).

*****

Monk Camp - Week 2

2009-06-23T10:49:00.013-05:00

Benedictine Juniorate Summer School 2009
St Benedict's Abbey, Atchison, KS

Choir Stalls & Jean Charlot fresco - St Benedict Abbey, Atchison, KS
Originally uploaded by lablover47

"Monk Camp" is coming to an end tomorrow. We will sing the Divine Office in the above stalls one last time for Vigil and Laud. After the morning class, Randy, Jim and I will pack our suitcases and get on our way to Kansas City airport for our flight home.

I have benefited greatly from all 3 monk camps I have attended as a monk in annual vows. I will miss this connection with the extended Benedictine family; although, God willing, there will be other avenues of sharing, I suppose.

This "monk camp" has 21 monks in initial vows in attendance and a local novice. We come from 9 communities belonging to 4 different congregations (American Cassinese, Swiss American, English Benedictine, Holy Cross):

- St Vincent Archabbey, Latrobe, PA (3 brothers)
- St Benedict Abbey, Atchison, KS (2 brothers)
- St John Abbey, Collegeville, MN (3 brothers)
- St Andrew Abbey, Cleveland, OH
- St Meinrad Archabbey, St Meinrad, IN (3 brothers)
- Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, NY (3 brothers)
- Blue Cloud Abbey, Marvin, SD
- St Anselm Abbey, Manchester, NH
- St Martin Abbey, Lacey, WA (3 brothers)

The brothers present have been in initial vows for varied lengths of time (between a few months and 3 years usually). The similarities of our experiences through the variety of backgrounds, life stories and community styles is one of the most interesting aspects of this experience.

Besides common worship, classes and organized social activities we also get a lot of free time to either isolate ourselves or socialize in smaller groups as the spirit moves. One such occasion is a mid-morning coffee and snack break in one of the monastery's common rooms. We tell each other stories of our personal or communal experiences and laugh a lot.

This week's class is an introduction to the Fathers* of the Church. It mixes a bit of patristics (theology and doctrine of the Fathers) with a lot of patrology (life and texts of the Fathers). You'll find a short entry about both under the same Wikipedia article about patristics.

Our course is presented in a lively, often humorous and sometimes passionate way by the personable Father Bernard Disco, OSB, of St Anselm, Manchester, NH. Fr Bernard's objective is to help our group become familiar with this era of the Church (1st to 8th century CE) and to facilitate lectio divina. The latter objective is a rich endeavor for which we receive lots of excerpts to explore the texts for ourselves. I have already determined that I am going to try and read more of Gregory Nazianzen's texts.

On Monday, at mass we commemorated St Paulinus of Nola whom I'd never heard of. At first, my impish Philistine self went to: "I didn't know New Orleans, LA, had a saint..." But it turns out Nola is an Italian town near Naples. Another thing that got my attention was that Paulinus became ordained as a priest when he already was a married man. And this didn't stop him from later being ordained bishop either. I was glad our Roman Catholic brothers think highly of him anyway. I wish this could translate to more openness for contemporary clergy's marital hopes; but that's another story.

In the afternoon, some of us took a tour of the Maur Hill Mount Academy, and of the St Scholastica Convent here in Atchison. The Academy is a ministry of the Sisters. It's a boarding school with a very high proportion of foreign students. I noted that the principal indicated that the Chinese students are so good in math that they have had to upgrade the curriculum.

In the evening, we were treated to an organ concert in the Abbey Church. Br. Randy got heard his favorite organ music up front (toccata & fugue JS Bach). The organists were the abbey's Fr. Blaine Shultz and Benedictine College's Dr Ruth Krusemark. The latter last played her own composition "To Perseus" which showcased to great effect the instrument's range.

On Tuesday afternoon, all of us went to Clyde and Conception, Missouri. As we drove through the rolling fields of western Missouri, a wind farm came into view with dozens of giant three-winged wind turbines. Many of these operate on grounds belonging to the Clyde sisters and Conception brothers. I always get a boost from seeing sustainable energy being tapped.

In Clyde, we were treated to a tour of the Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual adoration's convent. It features a high monument of Beuronese church decoration. It is a style that is often featured in American Cassinese Benedictine houses. It easily gets to overkill; as far as my own appreciation is concerned. My favorite pieces were the Austrian stained glass windows representing the apostles.

We later visited the soap-making workshop where the sister in charge kindly showed us how her soaps get made. A "benedictine discount" was offered and many soaps made their way out with the Benedictine Juniors... Yes, I got Grapefruit Orchidia and Swiss Lavender; definitely, 2 "pick-me-up" fragrances.

We then visited the Benedictine Monks at Conception Abbey. We were greeted by their formation director who took us on a tour of their church which was thoroughly renovated about 10 years ago. The contrast between the simplified lower walls and the elaborate murals (more Beuronese art) over the arches made for a strangely simple impression at eye level which was denied as soon as the eye caught sight of the higher level of the church.

Flight into Egypt - Beuronese mural - Conception Abbey, Missouri
Originally uploaded by lilymary30

Over all, I have been impressed by the willingness of all these heartland benedictine communities to construct, de-construct and renovate according to their present needs and vision of the future. It marks a suitable level of detachment from buildings no matter how glorious their past service and use. The only buildings unaffected by the deconstructions are the consecrated parts of these monasteries (churches, basilicas and chapels).

After our visit, we sang Vespers with the local monks and then were invited to a "haustus" (a monkish euphemism for a drink - usually in the form of beer and wine) followed by supper. Br. Randy and I sat with an anglophile monk who was full of curiosity for this Anglican strand of benedictinism we are part of and a postulant who together with 3 others had entered the community just over a week ago... I offered to pray for the 4 postulants in the days to come.

On the way back, the Missouri countyside between Conception Abbey and the city of St Joseph was beautiful in the setting sun. Cattle were scattered over the hedged meadows and some sought reprieve from the gruelling heat in ponds. It reminded me of old Flemish paintings of those subjects.

* Apologies for the non-inclusivity of the vocabulary as it is used in our class. The Ammas (Mothers) don't seem to have registered on this crowd's consciousness much yet.

Requesting permission to make Life Profession

2009-06-21T11:47:00.004-05:00

On June 13, in the midst of OHC's Annual Chapter, I wrote to the Superior of my Order to request the permission to make the profession of my Life Vow. In my e-mail (sorry! no quill and parchment; this is the 21st century, after all), I wrote:

Dear Robert,

I ask for the permission to make my Life Profession of the Benedictine Vow to our Beloved God in the Order of the Holy Cross.

My discernment has been tumultuous and difficult in the last few months. I now know that I am meant to do this regardless of how I feel about our monastic order, its condition and its future.

May my Beloved Lord increase me in hope, faith and charity. May God continue to lead me to a deeper love of Him, my neighbors and my brothers. May the Holy Spirit guide me in a life of prayer, worship and service until I exhale my last breath.

...

*****

Robert announced my request in the last session of our annual Chapter and my heart was warmed by the applause of my brothers and the loving words of joy and encouragement I received afterward.

On June 15, as per our constitutional process, Br. Scott, the Secretary of Council, wrote to all the members of our Order to advise them that I had expressed my desire to take the vow for life and to request, from our life professed brothers, comments about my request by Thursday, July 16, 2009 (a one month period).

All comments will be collected by the Secretary and shared with the Council of OHC when it meets to consider my request. Council will then offer an opinion as to my fitness for life profession.

When that opinion, or opinions, are distributed, OHC monks will have a further thirty day period to raise concerns regarding that opinion, if necessary. After this second commenting period, Council will meet again to vote on my request for life profession. If the vote is favorable and the Superior assents, I will be eligible for life profession.

*****

That's for the constitutional process. And then there is the spiritual journey that brought me this far and the one that stretches ahead of me.

I have been a monk for over 5 years now and, at times, I realize how much it has transformed me. The life of prayer, worship, work and companionship with my brothers, my neighbors and my God, has started in me the work of conversion of life that will continue till my death*. I had hoped and desired to be a much holier man by now...

I now know that I will be lucky if God graces me with half that much personal holiness in my entire life and that the gift of monasticism is to live into a sanctifying life, not to earn a label as a "holy person". My romantic ideals of "monkitude" have been frayed beyond recognition; and that's a good thing..., in the end. The hunger and thirst for the God quest have sharpened into focus. At times, I ache for what I long for; and can only dimly sense as possible.

In the last couple of years, a deepening yearning for contemplation has appeared in my heart. I prayed, and strove, for a balance in my monastic life that would make enough space for this. And, deep down, my wisdom knows that striving probably won't help; but tell that to my ego...

Soon afterward, another -- seemingly contradictory -- yearning snuck its way back into my dreams and prayer; that of social justice or common good as building blocks in the co-creation of God's Kingdom.

And throughout that time, the current and prospective constraints and needs of my Order have loomed large in my fears; fears of not having enough freedom to pursue either contemplation or social justice in meaningful ways, never mind combining both.

So, how did I come to decide to move forward towards life profession amidst all this questioning and upheaval in my heart?

For one thing, my call to the monastic vocation has only grown stronger through the years. I am also increasingly understanding this vocation as a work of God's Love in me. I'm called to respond and participate, not to anticipate and manage. Oh, Humility, walk this path with me, please.

For another, I have accepted the clues so many companions on the road have given me that I am called to embrace the paradox(es?) of my vocation; solitude and community, silence and vocal engagement, contemplation and action, love, joy and suffering. God is there; that's where I'm going.

I need not choose between the terms. I need not reconcile them. I need trust that God was, is, and always will be enough. I need trust that my vows will build me up in trust and love of God. I need trust that Bernard, the Benedictine Rule, the Benedictine Vow and God, together can accomplish more than I can imagine, and that it need not look like anything my willfulness desires.

I need trust that my Order, my Brothers, our Benedictine Rule, our Vows and God, together will surprise me beyond recognition. I need offer God my complete, unconditional and continual willingness. And that's why, I now desire and need to make my profession of the Life Vow.

*****

This is tremendously exciting but also slightly scary, as you can well imagine. Will you pray with me as I journey there?

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever.

Amen
Ephesians 3:18-22

* with Teilhard de Chardin, I believe that death lets God complete whatever conversion has not yet occurred in us by then - see his Communion Through Diminishment prayer. In its poignancy, I find it tremendously hopeful.

Monk Camp - Week 1

2009-06-18T11:48:00.008-05:00

Benedictine Juniorate Summer School 2009
St Benedict's Abbey, Atchison, KS

On Monday, the Holy Cross Monks assembled for annual chapter at Holy Cross Monastery conducted the last few official duties of chapter before converging on St Augustine church for a mid-morning Eucharist. During the mass, the Life Professed amongst us renewed their life vow; it's always poignant to see these men who together have centuries of monastic experience renew their engagement to God through our religious order. This year, having myself requested permission to make my life profession of the vow, I noted how hard it was not to say the words with them yet. At the end of the mass, the Superior got us together in the middle of choir to pray blessings on the three Juniors who were about to leave for Kansas and then to pray for safety for all who were about to voyage back to their next destination (their home monasteries for most of them).

Our beloved Chet Wilkinson, an Associate of OHC, then drove Brothers Randall, James and I to Newark airport where we got on a direct flight to Kansas City. Father Marion, OSB, was collecting us at the airport, together with the monk who was teaching this week's class.

At this "Monk Camp", we are about 20 monks from a dozen communities throughout the US. This is the third time I attend the Benedictine Juniorate Summer School (the official name) and it is wonderful to re-connect with friends made at earlier sessions. I always seem to easily connect with the guys from St Meinrad's, Indiana, and from St John's, Minnesota.

Our white habits always draw attention in the sea of black habits. Today, on campus we were twice stopped and told how beautiful they are; nice! They also are a pain to keep clean. Yesterday after having lovingly laundered and pressed my habit, I proceeded to sit down on a bench only to find out I was making perfect imprints of bird-digested mulberries on the back of my scapular which I then had to display to all as I processed into Vespers... Knowingly, I had packed two habits. 'Guess I'll be headed for the laundry room again soon.

This first week's class was about liturgy. I was looking forward to learning more about it but the teaching style proved counter-productive for me. I couldn't see a discernible structure to much of the rambling and reading. Whenever some of us tried questions that didn't lead to much either. So eventually, most of us politely retreated to whatever could distract us to kill the time. 'Shame! as our Brother Daniel, OHC would say.

Luckily, I noted the names of authors referenced by our teacher and started researching them on-line. Today, I finished reading a good recent article reviewing the contribution of Dom Odo Casel, OSB to the last century's liturgical movement.

The monks of St Benedict's Abbey are very welcoming. It is a large and varied community with a variety of ages represented. While we see the odd spent or depressed monk around, like in any monastery, they seem to have joy in their corporate life and in one another's company. It's an energizing feeling. Maybe it helps that this community has nurtured and developed a Benedictine College all along (150 years this coming academic year). Many monks are engaged with the students and the college in various pastoral ways.

The only dark cloud on the hospitality front is that the Abbey sticks to the recommendations of the local bishop in terms of (not) sharing the communion table with non-catholics. Today, Jim, Randy and I walked cross-campus to the old monastic church which now is a parish church that host a perpetual adoration altar (a consecrated host in an elaborate display object called a monstrance accessible and staffed 24/7).

While I prayed there for a few minutes, I noted the framed "Apostolic Blessing" bestowed by Pope Benedict XVI on those who pray there. It did not escape me that it was ironical that the 3 Anglican Benedictines at monk camp have been denied the sacrament of the Eucharist while allowed the sacramental of adoration and the papal blessing that comes with it. A sacramental (in Anglicanism and Roman Catholicism), is an action or object whose supernatural effects, unlike those of a sacrament, depend on the belief of the recipient.

I know the theory behind the "closed communion" policy and it doesn't make any theological sense to me while its offensive potential is hard to ward off psychically. For me who was baptized as an infant and raised in the Roman Catholic church (like Jim), it is an enforced division in the body of Christ that is painful to live. Just like last year, I will be SOOO hungry for the Eucharist by the time we reach the Lord's table set at the local Episcopal parish.

OK time to move away from under the black cloud (by the way we have already had two serious storms here).

Wednesday, most of us went to a baseball game in Kansas City. The KC Royals were hosting the Arizona Diamondbacks. Our caravan of five vehicles arrived several hours before the game. We laid out the grill, the games and the folding chairs and proceeded to tailgate (link provided for the wisdom of the non-American); a new highlight of my American inculturation! The catch was that once we were done playing, eating and drinking, we assembled in a big circle on the parking lot and sang Vespers together. It may sound corny but it was a powerful witness of how important the Divine Office and prayer is to this community.

After our tailgate party and Vespers, we were treated to a visit on the field itself by a friend of the president of Benedictine College. The Royals were warming up and we even saw the local star Joakim Soria up close even though he would not bat that night. We then proceeded to our seats or walked around the very pleasantly set-up Kauffman Stadium. Of course, more peanuts, drinks and ice-cream were had in the making of this evening. The Royals proceeded to not shine in this game and towards 10 p.m. we called it quits and listened on the radio to the sealing of their defeat as we drove back to the abbey.

At night, when the heat comes down somewhat, we love to go sit on a bench that overlooks the mighty Missouri river down the cliff and the alluvial plain that spreads for miles on end till the other bluffs. The mosquitoes are not too numerous but biiig! Eventually, one is led to turn into a moving rather than sitting target; yesterday, it led me to explore the cemetery and the vegetable garden.

Tonight is movie-night and we'll watch the James Bond movie "Quantum of Solace" on a big screen in one of the monastery's common rooms.

No pictures from Br. Randy yet. He's trigger-happy but will need to be home to post them.

Happy feast of the Sacred Heart! Thank You, Lord for your enduring Love!

Fifth Day of Chapter - end of legislative session

2009-06-14T20:15:00.010-05:00

Today brought Chapter proper (the legislative session) to an end. We casually refer to Chapter as the yearly meeting that includes a meeting of the Finance Committee, several meetings in conferences, several meeting in the legislative session of our Order and the meeting of the OHC Corporation. The latter is for tomorrow morning.

Extra time was scheduled in case our legislative session would run over today but thankfully we completed our busy agenda before a late morning mass today.

Reginald caught laughing: Br. Timothy, Br. Reginald, Br. James
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

We heard a report from our brothers in Grahamstown about discerning the possibility of opening a school for very young children. There is a long OHC tradition of opening schools for the poor to provide them the leg up of a good education. Both St Andrew's - Sewanee School and Kent School - both long independent from OHC - started as such works of our Order.

Part of our discussion actually addressed the need -- should the Order decide to start a school in South Africa -- to figure out a way to remain accessible to the poor even when the quality of education starts attracting the wealthy. We also pondered about how to help teaching skills improve beyond the reaches of a single institution.

We heard a report from our Br. Leonard who, this past year, taught for a semester at the St Nicholas Seminary in Cape Coast, Ghana, and tended to farming business on the land that OHC still leases near Kumasi (a remain of our presence there in the 70's). Leonard will teach a full year at St Nicholas this coming academic year while on leave from our Toronto Priory.

Br. Andrew, Br. Leonard and others
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

We had a discussion on how to extend the participation of annually professed brothers in the decision-making of the Order. No legislation was passed but a consensus emerged that OHC's Council would invite an annually professed brother to participate (with voice but no vote) at each of its meetings whether in person or by phone. This is seen as both a way to hear the voice of the annually professed and as a way to prepare them to the exercise of leadership within our Order.

It was then announced that I have requested permission to make my life profession of the Benedictine Vow in the Order of the Holy Cross. I was very moved by the sustained round of applause from my brothers.

We re-elected Br. Richard to be the Secretary of Chapter and upon this promptly brought the 296th session of OHC's general chapter to conclusion.

During our break, I was warmly congratulated by many brothers. It is a great comfort to see such an important decision validated by the affection of the men with whom I will endeavor to bring this vow to fruition. I think I may write more about this from "Monk Camp".

We later convened in church for mass, at which our Deputy Bishop Visitor, Bp. Ann Tottenham preached.

After dinner, Br. Leonard and I went to fetch Br. Cecil at his nursing home in Rhinebeck so that he could be with us for the Reception offered to our friends to close this part of chapter. Cecil was in good spirit and stayed with us through Vespers and then enjoyed the sunshine and the breeze on our front porch. My fellow juniors (Brs. Randy and James) helped me drive Cecil home before we headed to Br. Randy's favorite comfort food restaurant, Texas Roadhouse, in Kingston. We had a delicious meal while de-briefing Chapter together.

Tonight, I'm finishing packing my luggage for Benedictine Juniorate Summer School (a.k.a. Monk Camp) at St Benedict Abbey, Atchison, Kansas. Our Associate Chet has kindly offered to drive the three Juniors to Newark Airport tommorrow. Kansas, here we come!

Third and Fourth Days of Chapter

2009-06-13T20:44:00.005-05:00

All the monks participating in OHC's Annual Chapter 2009
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Day 3 and 4 of Chapter was when the legislative word started. For these sessions, every one is mandated to wear his habit and the discussions take a slightly more formal style. We follow Robert's rules of order but, this year, agreed that since we are less than 50 we could use a simplified version of it. Still, we request permission to speak by raising our hand, are called to speak by the Superior, and stand up when we speak.

This year, since conferences had been organized to allow a lot of discussions to occur on what we would need to decide upon, many decisions could be taken fairly promptly and easily with very little additional discussion.

Brs. Lary, Robert, Will, and James during a conferences session
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

We heard and accepted reports from committees such as the Finance Committee's report. We elected 2 new members to Council (5 men advising the Superior in-between annual chapters); congratulations to Brs. Scott Borden and Andrew Colqhoun who will serve 2 year terms. 3 other members of council will serve another year before being replaced at our next chapter: Brs. Bede Mudge, Timothy Jolley and Christian Swayne. We had discussed nominations yesterday even though any life professed Brother could be voted for. We had three ballots before both new councillors were elected. Traditionally, the two most junior members in attendance go do the counting; Brs. James Dowd and Charles Mizelle dispatched their job with efficience.

We re-elected Br. Nicholas Radelmiller to the Discipline Council where he sits with Brs. Carl Sword and Christian Swayne.

It was decided to let our Santa Barbara community finalize a renewable one year lease with the Sisters of the Holy Nativity in order to rent St Mary's Convent and re-start a ministry of hospitality there. A motion was passed to express our Order's gratitude to the Sisters for their very generous hospitality and help in the aftermath of the Tea Fire that destroyed Mount Calvary Monastery last November.

On the issue of what to do with our property in Berkeley, previously known as Incarnation Priory, the discussion was more protracted and complex. More avenues of action will need to be investigated. Whether a motion will be passed in this regard this year is still open.

By mid-day today, we were all ready for the half day recess that was planned for this Saturday afternoon. I needed a long nap for Chapter discussions are intense and emotional even though we managed them very well this year. After that, I went to New Paltz with Br. Jim for a nice supper at P&G. I was amused by how different people are on a Saturday night. We often see our nearby towns on our usual sabbath day of Monday. Tonight, I could people-watch the dating couples, the families on an outing, the singles getting together with their tribe.

After we got back home, brothers were on the library porch, having a leisurely conversation while looking at the fire-flies putting on their new show. Towards 9.30 fireworks were shot from the Rhinebeck fairgrounds across the river. A few firecrackers given by a Louisiana friend a while ago were put to use for a little response. Tomorrow is our third legislative day. A little more work will be done in the morning. In the afternoon, we will have a reception with a few friends and supporters of the community to mark this annual chapter festively.

Monday is still scheduled for more legislative work if needed. But by then, us Juniors (monks in annual vows) will be getting ready to depart towards "Monk Camp" (a.k.a. the Benedictine Junoriate Summer School). If we have internet access at St Benedict's Abbey, Atchison, Kansas, I'll try to blog from there too.

Brs. Scott, Adam, Will prior to a lesgislative session of Chapter
Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

Our indefatigable photographer, Br. Randy, has created a "OHC Chapter 2009" set of photographs on his Flickr account. Keep checking it out as he adds to it.

Feast of St Barnabas, "son of encouragement'

2009-06-12T06:50:00.013-05:00

Yesterday, in our Chapter's Conferences, Br. Adam suggested maybe we needed to re-learn to be imaginative about our monastic life.

Brothers gathering for Chapter - Originally uploaded by Randy OHC

This morning, as we read the Acts of the Apostles lesson for matins, my mind took a flight of fancy on community as it is described there. My mind is wont to take flights of fancy or distraction, even during offices; forgive me Beloved.

So here is a dream of renewal and growth in the shape of an urban priory for Holy Cross. It's one dream (I have more). There are thousands of reasons it could not be realized as such but dreams have messages that can bridge us into God's intentions for us. So bear with this dreamer.

We are looking at a corner lot in an urban neighborhood. Public transportation is near and plentiful. We are in the midst of a metropolitan area with a large, diverse population. Cultural and academic institutions are easily accessible, including (look at how lucky we are!) one or more great Anglican seminary. And now turn around. There it is! An Anglican (Episcopalian) church right in the backyard! This looks promising already and we haven't even laid down foundations...

Speaking of which, the cornerstone which the builders rejected is the very cornerstone we will lay down our fate on. Teresa and this money are nothing; but God, Teresa, and these ducats suffice (Teresa of Avila is said to have quipped about one of her many foundations). Not being saints ourselves we can adapt; three or four Holy Cross Brothers, a couple million dollars seed money and God can start this priory (and more will be needed to complete it of course, but this is a dream, remember?)

This priory is a sustainable, context-appropriate, accessible facility able to meet multiple uses in mutually respectful ways. The building achieves the highest LEED standards (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) available for new residential construction. It thereby achieves a very low operating costs while affording a high quality of life to its residents.

a. Grounds

There is probably precious little non-built ground left. Whatever is there is lovingly landscaped with a xeryscape of native plants leaving only enough space for a car sharing slot and a charging spot for the community's plug-in hybrid car. A fully accessible path connects the church grounds to the entries of the priory.

b. Ground floor

A multi-purpose meeting space welcomes social justice, charitable, religious and cultural groups on a regular basis. The space is self-contained but connected to the rest of the priory. The meeting space and the priory each have their dedicated access. The meeting space can easily be converted for liturgical use. It might be of benefit to the adjoining church on Sundays.
All upper floors and the green roof's deck are accessible by elevator.

c. Second floor

This is where the Brothers have their light-filled, roomy chapel and a small sacristy. A common room, dining room, kitchen and pantry are also featured. A full bathroom and a restroom adjoin a small room that can serve as study/TV room/guestroom (when the Murphy bed comes down).

d. Third floor

Here are the cells of the monks. They are small but comfortable. Murphy beds enable to maximize space during the day. Each couple of cells share a bathroom and separate restroom. A few guest rooms are similarly arrayed across a landing that separates the enclosure from other rooms. A few of those rooms might house seminarians who partake of the community life.

e. Fourth floor and accessible roof

A library / study opens up on roof deck and the surrounding green roof. This is the favorite spot for community meetings and leisurely rest.

f. Top roof

This top roof is also "green" but in a different way; it is covered in thermal and photovoltaic solar panels. These provide hot water and electricity, the surplus of which can be fed back to the grid.

All roofs allow recuperation of any rainwater run-off. This water an the recycled grey water from laundry and bathrooms are re-used for flushing the toilets.

g. Monastic life at the Priory

The monks say the divine office together every day (but their weekly sabbath day). The Priory's non-vowed residents are encouraged to participate in the office and daily Eucharist. All residents participate in the ancillary tasks to the extent of their ability. The monks have ministries close by and/or operated from the home itself. Some monks coming from any community of the Order might be pursuing academic studies while residing at the priory for that purpose. Some guestrooms might similarly be used to house students from other CAROA orders.

Well, enough for this urban priory dream for now. May God bless our Order with great projects to vivify the monastic life and the church.

Tomorrow, the legislative part of our annual chapter starts. May our discussions and decisions be Spirit-filled and worthy of God's Kingdom.

Second day of Chapter - feast of the Holy Eucharist

2009-06-11T18:10:00.004-05:00

O God, who hast folded the mantle of night to clothe us with the golden glory of day, banish from our hearts all gloomy thoughts and make us glad with the brightness of hope, that we may rise again to great virtue, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

So started the Superior's address to Chapter yesterday. Today, I started having more glimpses of the brightness of hope in the depth and breadth of our discussions.

Today was spent in "conferences". These are explorations of issues of import to our Order where we share information and opinions with no view to making a decision, just to hear each other out. We decided to be inspired by the indaba process for our conference days this year. It's a South African practice that some of our brothers also have experienced at the latest synod of the diocese of Toronto.

First, in the morning, we had a session on our vision and mission as monastics facilitated by Br. Randy. One of Randy's question, inspired from Br. Don Bisson, FMS, grabbed many people's attention. It made us think of where and how our life as an Order evolved from dependence, to independence and now attempts to move towards interdependence.

Next we had a session on our finances led by Br. Adam. We reminded ourselves of how rich we are in blessings and how our situation, while requiring diligence and continued attention, is far from what some might alarmingly but erroneously call a "crisis". We are faced with opportunities that require important and difficult decisions; that's a pretty good spiritual exercise, I'd say.

In the afternoon, we first had a session on our buildings and our relationship to them led by Br. Scott. It was eye-opening to look at how the buildings we have relate to each other in their strengths, weaknesses and the ministries they enable (or hinder). Our follow-up discussion included comments about how our buildings should sustain our monastic vocations rather than the reverse (which is often the downside of being blessed with great real estate).

We ended up the day's conference with a moving first-person reflection on the graces of aging by our Br. Andrew. He mentioned how aging in Africa was so different from America. Sometimes, strangers greet him in the street with a loving title that means "grandfather".

We closed the working day with a celebration of the feast of the Holy Eucharist. I was honored to serve the Eucharist presided by our Br. Christian Swayne, who recently celebrated the 50th anniversary of his priesthood. I got to know and love Christian when I lived at Holy Cross Priory, Toronto, as a novice for 6 months in 2005 / 2006. Our Superior asked him to give us his blessing as the dismissal. I felt God's blessing in Christian's ministry to us today.

After mass, we got together in the Pilgrim Hall for some informal refreshments before supper. Our companion, Suzette Cayless, had once again laid lovely tables of goodies. Tonight, Br. Randy and I had a lazy evening on the porch listening to jazz music in the company of Brothers joining for a few moments or longer (Brs. Randy and John are still listening to riffs of trumpet and trombone, as I write).

I have come to value these informal moments as much as our structured sessions in binding us together as an Order and helping us develop the mind necessary to make decisions together (even if some of them controversial).

Tomorrow we start the legislative part of Chapter. Conferences have opened us to listening to a lot of new data, new perspectives and varied opinions. Chapter proper will see us considering motions presented to our decision. I hope we will reach a few good decisions and not be hobbled by the tendency to think of what was before as what needs to be again. "May we rise again to great virtue" as goes the prayer that led us into Chapter.

First Day of Chapter

2009-06-10T18:56:00.009-05:00

The Annual Chapter of the Order of the Holy Cross is the legislative body of the whole of our houses, missions and men. It meets once a year at one of our monasteries for about a week. All the Life Professed brothers whose health permit it try to make it.

This year, Chapter is meeting at Holy Cross Monastery in West Park. 23 of our 26 Life Professed monks are in attendance. Three monks in annual vows and a novice also attend (with voice but no vote). Our Deputy Bishop Visitor, The Most Rev. Ann Tottenham, is in attentive attendance and three of our OHC Companions, as befits their title, are accompanying the process with their love and skills.

Today was the official opening of Chapter, although brothers have been converging here since Sunday evening. Many of these men have known each other for decades and have shared in works of the Order at different stages of their monastic vocation. A lot of catching up happens.

Yesterday saw the Finance Committee reviewing the financial reports of all houses and works of the Order. Priors and monks not in residence go in, one by one, to discuss their situation with the committee who will report to the whole of the Order later during Chapter. In-between interviews with the Finance Committee, more catching up occurs.

This morning our new Superior of one year opened Chapter with his address which is like a "State of the Union" event. Br. Robert Sevensky's address was long, thoughtful, thorough and not shirking the difficult issues while not being prescriptive; leaving that work to the deliberations of Chapter.

We then split in smaller groups to discuss what, in the address, we felt was exciting, worrying or missing. We reconvened in a plenary session to share the essence of the group discussions. I was excited by the candor of Robert's address and its willingness to question what may appear to some as "sacred cows".

I was concerned that it did not address how our OHC understanding of the vow of stability can sometimes lead us to not address problems early and thoroughly enough; and to give them the "geographic cure" instead. I was also concerned that it did not address our need to become a constantly learning organization; no one is ever out of formation; conversion is a lifelong journey, formation can always have its part in it, no matter what your age and stage of monastic life. Now, in my view, formation can be as simple as learning and using mutual constructive feedback or personal help or coaching with things like chanting or handling conflict.

This afternoon, Br. James Dowd led a courageous and difficult session on acknowledging our many losses and sharing our emotions around it.

During last year's chapter, Brs. Michael Stonebraker and Bernard Van Waes both died. In October 2008, Br. William Sibley, former Superior, died. The Rev. William Bennett, an ex-member of OHC, died that same fall.

During last year's chapter we dispensed Kevin Cagle from his life vow. In March 2009, renewal of the annual vow was denied to Joseph Brown, in a decision that caused a lot of distress to many of us.

In July 2008, as decided by Chapter, we vacated Incarnation Priory in Berkeley, CA. In November 2008, our Mount Calvary Retreat House and Monastery in Santa Barbara, CA, was burned to the ground without loss of life or injury, for which we are grateful. In the last year, the Order's financial reserves saw their investment value plummet by 40%.

As Br. Jim put it, "Death, Divorce (end of committed relationship) and Dislocation" are often cited as the main causes of deep stress and incidental depression. All of us in the Order of the Holy Cross have experienced one or more of these in the last 12 months. We hadn't yet had a chance to have a common ritual of grieving for this.

First, we spent a couple of hours sharing our personal losses and attendent emotions. Many of us, expressed grief at one or more of the above events and how they had affected us. In the process, grief over older events of our communal life also came back to the surface. It became clear to me that this is a powerful process and we might consider doing it every few years or when a year like this arises.

I shared with my brothers how I missed William S., Kevin and Joseph in different ways. I shared with my brothers how I had come to realize I've lost my innocence about my OHC vocation. I shared how I need to come to terms with how I got hurt in this past year's institutional failings, how and why it happened, how I must forgive it and learn to love my community of brothers through it all. Innocence was lost; now my vow of stability has to help me through this. We have failed ourselves. Now we must learn to succeed together.

After a half hour break, we all gathered in church at 5 p.m. for a requiem mass. I feel this day, brought us all back together as an Order. I must say that each time I hear 30 or so of us singing the office or hymns together it re-wires me in a good way. It also makes me yearn for larger households. But of course, that would also multiply the interpersonal challenges of communal living...

Tonight, a friend of mine posted this motivational video to her Facebook Profile. I commented to her: "We Benedictines take a vow of stability. I understand it as sticking it out even through difficulty and /or adversity. Don't Give Up! Yes, You (We) Can!"

Tomorrow, we will work on having dreams for OHC. Sweet dreams, All! Pray that we may dream big and wake up refreshed and ready for the challenges of the gospel.

Gratitude List - at the edge of Chapter

2009-06-06T20:25:00.004-05:00

Beloved God - Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier,

On this eve of the feast of the Holy Trinity, I am grateful to you for:

Abdij van Park
Originally uploaded by Il vecchio maggiore

- the Abbey of Park (the link will take you to Flickr slideshow) in Heverlee, Belgium, and for St Norbert, founder of the Premonstratensians. I used to bike from my native home in Korbeek-Lo to the nearby Abbey. At the time, their farm was still active. I once was admitted as a young child in the main monastery building, up the baroque staircase and into the ancient library for just a few minutes. I would also bike around their huge fishponds spotting the carps coming up, as if for air. My great-aunt Thérèse, who taught me to knit, is buried in the Abbey church's graveyard. Today is the feast of St Norbert of Xanten,

- the fragrance of two white peonies in the little room where I see directees. They filled the room with a fresh citrussy headnote this afternoon as we explored a directee's prayer life. It was like the Spirit singing in olfactory notes,

- my brother Benoit and sister-in-law Annick offering us a beautiful red kayak; for Michael, who cares for our grounds, mowing a path in the meadow towards the river on the enclosure side; for neighboring friends allowing us access to their boathouse. I was able to kayak for a half hour before matins a few days ago; aerobic and contemplative bliss combined; multi-tasking, here I come!

- A glorious amber full moon rising over the river,

- Completing the cleaning-up of three disused cells in the enclosure for brothers visiting the monastery for our upcoming Annual Chapter. Cleaning up, tidying up and making these rooms comfortable enough for our brotherly guests was uplifting. Of course, it's an ancillary task that I wouldn't aspire to do often, yet it is also a metaphor of preparing ourselves for re-growth in our monastic population and our monastic mission. Monday, I will go cut a few fresh peonies in the garden so that visual and olfactory beauty may be part of my brothers' first impression of their temporary cells.

Thank you, Beloved, for keeping me centered in you, even when my thoughts are centrifugal.

*****

Please pray for the Order of the Holy Cross, its monks, its associates and friends as the life-professed monks from around the world assemble in Annual Chapter (the Order's legislative body) with important decisions needing attentive and visionary care. We will be in Chapter from Tuesday 09 to Monday 15 June.

On Monday 15, Jim, Randy and I will fly to Kansas City for a two week Benedictine Juniorate Summer School at St Benedict's Abbey, Atchison. We will spend two weeks with other Juniors from Benedictine communities across North America, worshiping, studying and playing together. We'll return home by June 26.

Gratitude List for a balmy spring day

2009-06-01T20:22:00.007-05:00

Beloved Lord,

I thank you for a great sabbath day, this Monday. I am particularly grateful for:

- a late morning in bed,
- a breakfast of sunday brunch leftovers,
- browsing friends' Facebook and blog entries, commenting on some, linking interesting pieces for others,
- browsing Br. Randy's pilgrimage to Assisi pictures (I look at a walking day's worth of pictures a day; I'm up to day 6 of his 12 day pilgrimage),
- seeing Star Trek the movie for a third time (thanks Chet) and still loving it (although that's it for this summer),
- recycling 5 disused laptops in a way that will ensure correct disposal of hazardous materials,
- shooting the breeze with Randy and Jim on the porch,
- getting feedback on my Pentecost sermon from a friend who couldn't listen to the sermon while watching over her two-year old in church in Belgium but then found mine online (9 years ago she watched over me at Trinity Church Wall Street, NYC, as I was received into the Episcopal Church USA on Pentecost day - thanks Véro)
- watching the final episode of the excellent Spanish TV series on Teresa of Avila.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Hallelujah! I've got a Pentecost sermon ready!

2009-05-30T20:45:00.000-05:00

... and it's only 9.30 p.m. on the eve of Pentecost!

I thoroughly enjoyed exploring how the parallels between the Jewish Shavuot and the Christian Pentecost inform the Acts text that has the main narrative of tomorrow's holy day.

Thanks be to God for the discipline of sermon-writing. I always learn so much.

Come Holy Spirit and help me deliver the goods!

Blessings on all those who celebrate Shavuot or Pentecost this week-end.

Oh, and you can find my Pentecost sermon on the OHC Lectionary blog.

And now off to bed for the preacher's beauty sleep...

Home Alone

2009-05-25T18:04:00.005-05:00

Wild yellow irises such as found blooming on the banks of the Hudson
picture from: http://www.wildflowersofontario.ca/wildyellowiris.html

In his latest sermon, this past Sunday, Br. Randy referred to this interim time between our Lord's Ascension and the manifestation of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost as a time when we are on our own pondering what happened and expectant of what may come; a time when we could say we are "Home Alone". Alone on the porch I may be, but so blessed with the knowledge, acquaintance and love of so many.

As I write this I am tasting the lovely loneliness of our Monastery on a sabbath day. I'm sitting on one of porches of the monastic enclosure gazing at the softening light of the evening of this Memorial Day, our cultural marker for the beginning of the summer season.

This morning, I got up early to drive Br. Rob to JFK airport to catch his plane back to our Grahamstown monastery in South Africa. He'd been back states-wide for 3 weeks visiting family and his many friends. His schedule had been a hectic string of visits and I was delighted to get another couple of hours to converse with him.

In his most loving and emotionally wise way, he undertook me on the subject of my... resistances (shall we say?) to making my life profession. I needed this caring confrontation. And as any extrovert worth his grain of salt, having to express my hopes, desires, worries and concerns to him helped me clarify a few of my resistances and their components. This was a courageous conversation for us to have, all the more as we were about to bid each other fare well. I was sad to let this beloved friend once more fly away to a far country.

I returned home in time to see the end-of-holiday city-bound traffic start to congeal on the highway. I found Randy and trudged up the hill to Ascension Church with him to partake of their Texan barbecue! We met Scott who was already there. The brisket was worth the climb and then Mother Jennifer capped it all off for me by bringing us a bottle of my native city's Stella Artois beer.

After lunch, we walked with a small group down the hill to the edge of the Hudson. The locust trees were wafting their mellifluous fragrance in the breeze and golden wild irises were blossoming on the side of the river.

I spent the afternoon, chatting on the phone with my Dad. I call him on Skype so that we may not pay attention to how long we chat and how much it may cost (zilch, when Dad is at his computer too to take the call). I wear a headset and so my hands are fee to either look up things we talk about on the internet or to knit or crochet. Although he's tired and weak lately, and worried about the proper retrieval of all of his intellectual production on his new-fangled computer, he's still thinking his time and world as a true intellectual.

This time, we discussed, as we often do, what it means for his beloved university to be called catholic or not (a real debate going on now in what is also my alma mater). I suggested that catholic and university both share a meaning of universality and that if catholic is not narrowly understood to refer to a Roman Catholic church oversight, it could be conveyed as a broadly appealing combination of words for today's world.

Dad also reported a discussion with a fellow retired economics professor about how the insurance industry should be guided into investing its reserves in less risky assets, of course, but also and maybe mainly in assets that support sustainable development, as opposed to assets deemed financially savvy regardless of their finality. I alway relish in discovering how our separate thinking lead us to similar interests, Dad and I (sustainable development is a subject of prayer and reflection for me).

As we chatted, I was finishing a crocheted triangular shawl for my friend Elizabeth. She'll just have to decide on whether to have the flanges or not and it'll be ready to grace her shoulders and bring out the richness of her copper-red mane. I promised my friend Suzie I'd send her pictures of what I have wrought with the luscious mohair yarns she'd given me back in March.

Later on, I read the wonderul speech that my friend Hildegard's Dad wrote for Memorial Day, which also is his 88th birthday this year. I was invited for tea and Vespers at Hildegard's monastery this past Ascension day. Although we regularly meet at one function or the other, we rarely have time for a good catch-up conversation. A lot has been going on for either of us and our respective Orders and we delighted in each other's company on this leisurely visit. Hildegard keeps a wonderful blog where you can find her Dad's rousing and moving Memorial Day speech.

After I returned home from the late afternoon with Hildegard and her sisters, I came back home to start a 4 day Alexander Technique program which was being offered at my monastery. I had taken Alexander Technique lessons for a few years in Manhattan until my joining the monastery but I was eager to revive my practice and find out how much of it I was still active in me (well, not so much, yet more than I thought).

Our teacher was the experienced, multi-talented and gentle Bill Connington. He gave us a more thorough exploration of the technique than I suspected was possible in a group format and so short a time. We each had an individual mini-lesson and he indulged me in giving it to me at my choir stall -- which was very useful even though it raised a few eyebrows as he guided my neck and back in sitting, standing and bowing while people gathered for diurnum, our noontime office...

The group of students was a delightful and varied bunch; musicians (recorder, flute, harp), (zouk) dancers, an opera singer and a smattering of professional and homebody (or monasterybody) types. We worked in pairs quite a bit and got to know and enjoy each other a lot as we explored better use of our God-given spines, necks and connected members.

Since the technique is designed to be taken in whatever our lives' activities are, we were treated to an aria from George Bizet's Carmen, a zouk dancing demo, and musical intermezzi of various kinds as well as explorations of how to enjoy all of our poise in computer typing - I'm mindful of neck, shoulder and back use as I type this - and walking Manhattan sidewalks with a rolly-bag. I warmly recommend this program should Bill Connington and Julie Martyn-Baker (who deftly facilitated the organization and logistics of the program) choose to offer it a third time next year (quite a few members of our little band were return participants).

And now, off to continue my readings and pondering in preparation for the Pentecost sermon I'm due to offer this coming Sunday. Come Holy Spirit, come!

Gratitude List - on a "rolling" sabbath day

2009-05-17T10:02:00.005-05:00

Beloved Lord,

I am grateful for all the blessings of this past week. As a token of my gratitude, I remember and thank you for:

- having a "rolling day of sabbath". As our community hosts an 8 day Benedictine Experience retreat this week, we are not taking ous customary Monday sabbath all together. Instead, one of us takes his sabbath day in a rota. Today is my turn. I really needed the rest and am enjoying it,

- the red kayak that my brother Benoit and my sister-in-law have offered our community. Last Monday, Br. Charles accompanied me to Kenco in Kingston where a helpful, friendly and outdoorsy assistant walked us through our options for a kayak. Once we had brought it home, I couldn't help but take it to the river. I spent two hours paddling north up to Mount St Alphonsus and back. At the 90 minute mark, my deltoids started saying "are we there yet?" What a joy it is to exercise while enjoying the calm and the beauty of our Hudson valley. Thank goodness that Charles insisted we consider getting the 2 wheel-cart that enables lugging the kayak around! I don't know that I would have been able to carry the 60 lbs of gear back up the hill without it...

- the election of the first few women in the parliament of Kuwait. Blessings on the people and leaders of Kuwait. May your democracy grow and flourish,

- the 12 library volunteers that made so much progress in so little time. The CD collection now looks like a collection (from a starting point that looked more like a dump). The skylights now pour much more daylight in the library than before and the light fixtures on the outside porches throw more light on them in the evening. Hundreds more books have been catalogued. Dozens have been added to a tidied up Guesthouse Library. A shelf reading of the Dewey 100 caterory is completed. And a shelf reading of the old books is well advanced while we made a start on the 200 category (which represents about half our library). A start has been made on comparing monastic bibliographies to our holdings to direct future acquisitions. And more... And all that while having fun most of the time it seemed!

- seeing the good folks of St Boniface, Sarasota, Florida, who came here on retreat as a group for the first time. It was so good to touch base with people I see while on mission at their parish in the winter and to see them discover with joy the environment in which my monastic life is rooted,

- attending early mass at Ascension this morning. The canine church greeter Horatio made me feel welcome as he wagged his tail and accepted a cuddle. A senior from Vassar College offered a lovely and personal homily on the scripture of the day. After mass, I admired the view of the Hudson which Ascension parishioners see each Sunday. Mother Barrows invited me to visit her new herb garden next to the rectory; I particularly loved the smell of a few crushed leaves of "chocolate mint" (one cannot totally escape one's Belgian roots...),

- Randy's safe return from a joyful pilgrimage to Assisi. He has a good tan and truckloads of pictures to load on his Flickr gallery. Check out his "First Day" set. Tonight, as promised, we are going to see Star Trek (again in my case and I'm delighted at the prospect) with Chet and George. "Make it so Number One!",

Thank you Lord for the richness of your blessings. Keep me awake to your Presence always, Beloved!

Gratitude List - 48 years of Motherly love

2009-05-07T15:14:00.010-05:00

Liliane Marie Delcourt-Vrebos you are an angel in my life; thank you! I don't know when exactly is Mothers' Day in Belgium. But here in the States, it's this Sunday. So here is my gratitude list to the God who created and sustains us both for all the living we have shared so far...

Mom and I the day I was clothed as a novice - October 2004

Beloved Lord, I thank you for the mother you have given me.

In particular, and in no particularly justifiable order, I'm thankful, o God, for her:

wooing and marrying my Dad. That was a good catch, Mom!
bearing me in her womb and for birthing me,
nursing me with love while the grief of losing her much-beloved father Joseph Vrebos crushed her 2 days later,
sharing the memory of the birds singing to the rising sun just after my birth,

I thank God for my "Maman":

teaching me to recognize the stars and constellations in the sky,
telling me to beckon the Pleiades when they would not reveal themselves to me by calling: "Petites, petites, petites!" It always worked (it still does), the Pleiades appeared to me.
teaching me the name of flowers, shrubs and trees on our daily rounds of the garden. Whenever possible, she'd teach me the name not only in French but also in Latin and maybe in Dutch,
giving me a flower bed to tend and run my horticultural experiences in,

I thank God for my "Mimousse":

reading me bedtime stories from the Comtesse de Ségur and Enid Blyton,
bringing me a glass of water "after curfew" when I would not want to be left alone to fall asleep in my bed,
leaving the door open on the slightly-lit landing so that I wouldn't get too scared for possible ghosts and witches.
allowing my play not to be curtailed by any gender pre-conceptions,

I thank God for my "M'man":

oohing an ahing as much at my drawings of princesses in ball gowns and later, fashionable models in cocktail dresses, than at my architectural plans for lavish castles and villas, and designs for sports cars and planes,
taking me to her work with her a few times. We took the train to Brussels which in itself was a treat. At lunch-time we would take the tram, another treat, and go downtown near the stock exchange, and go eat a "moules-frites" (mussels and Belgian fries, a national favorite) at "Chez Mamie - au Zinc",
teaching me the value of all humans. One day she took me to her office at the feminine wing of the catholic workers' movement, Vie Féminine, where she was in charge of a study group into new issues of interest to the women. We walked up a long sloping street from Brussels' Midi train station to her office. The street was of nondescript habitations if not for the many scantily-clad, heavily made-up women who beckoned from their stools or armchairs brought close to the front windows. Some of them had gotten into the habit of exchanging hellos with my Mom and she encouraged me to respond a friendly hello back. Somehow, without understanding the specifics of their profession, I knew these women were not highly thought of in the world. Mom did not preach any words about this, but the solidarity of all human beings came across her actions,
teaching me English when I was 9, as her father had done for her as a child, and because she realized I had started spying on her English conversations with my father which were intended for things the children need not understand. Make a foreign tongue the conspicuous language of secrets and your kids will want to learn it; geniuses they were those crafty parents!

I thank God for my "Mamounette":

balancing a distinguished career with the raising of her family,
sacrificing a possible political career in order to further opportunities for her husband's career and her sons' studies,
modeling life-long faithfulness to friends throughout her life (I'm only remembering too few of course, but there were and are Roseke Van Brabant, Mia Dumont, Flore Braspenning, Lucienne Meersseman),
boosting my confidence when a difficult challenge would find me flagging. Like the time I felt I could not go through with my military instruction as a candidate officer in the middle of a bitter winter in the Ardennes where I was stationed. She and my family gave me heart to go back and hang on,

I thank God for my "Toute-Belle":

keeping the faith in who I was even when it cost her. In the many years since my coming out to my parents at the age of 18, they have made an incredible progression of searching, investigating, accepting, understanding and advocating the fullness of humanity expressed in gay people. In Mom's case, she has come from feeling guilt for allegedly failing to bring me up "correctly" and immense sadness for my "misfortune" to understanding how happy I am to be who I am and how enriching it has been for a middle class white man to experience difference from the mainstream.
always greeting me on the phone or back home as if I was the nicest thing that happened all year,
loving literature and sharing that love. I remember in particular her advising me against reading Marguerite Yourcenar's "Hadrian's Memoirs" when I first asked to borrow her beautiful cloth-bound copy. She said I was welcome to read it then, if I insisted, but that I would so much more enjoy it with a bit of experience as an adult man. When I first read it with delight in my early twenties, I felt so grateful for her having helped me keep that beautiful discovery for when I would be ready to enjoy it. 'Come to think of it, I should re-read it with the eyes of the older man I am,
embracing my partner of 9 years with the love of a true mother. Eventually, she came to love him as a third son. When he and I separated abruptly in 1998, she sought him out to sound his heart and try to see if he could re-visit his decision to leave. She did it for my sake, of course, but also for hers and his since she'd come to love him as himself.

I thank God for my mother:

being such a trooper in the face of memory loss in the last several years. Eventually, Mom has come to have the courage to own her situation despite all the cognitive skills it is robbing her of; and there was much to be robbed from this brilliant, intelligent and sprightly woman.
embracing the serenity that comes from her situation. At times, I'd even say Mom has become a happier person. One good thing she has lost is the ability to worry very much about contingencies (things that might come to pass but not necessarily - or things that might have come to pass but didn't). She is doing the best of embracing the "here and now" which I recently described to one of my directees as "the only threshold we have into eternity." After all, there are oodles of religious people who pray and long for that all their life long.
showing her true colors even more vividly in the evening of her life. My parents get a lot of help from outside parties including nursing personnel who visit several times a week (thank you European Welfare State). The nurses see a lot of older people with increasing memory difficulties. They have remarked how lucky we are that out of Mom's heart, deep down, comes out gentle and loving behavior. It makes me think of the gospel according to Luke 6:45 : "The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, ..... ; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks."
being "ma maman a moi!" (my mother mine).

So, I've seen right through you, beloved little mother; you are a sweetie through and through. I knew it!

Happy Mothers Day to all the nurturing women of our lives! Thank you, each one of you!

Gratitude List - The joys of quarterly retreat!

2009-05-06T19:21:00.006-05:00

Beloved Lord of my heart and life,

I am grateful for:

Assisi - Originally uploaded by R.o.b.e.r.t.o.

- Br. Randy celebrating his birthday in Italy on a walking pilgrimage to Assisi, and Br. Daniel renewing his annual vow in Rome (while on a 3 months Benedictine formators stint there), and the two of them meeting up in Assisi soon. No, no, no; no-one is envious here!

- A most excellent article on the European Welfare state as experienced by an American writer in Amsterdam in the New York Times Magazine. I had grown so tired of knee-jerk reactions to anything welfare-oriented being branded "socialist"; as if it were a bad thing... Russell Shorto gives a good and balanced overview of how the European and American systems compare in his experience. A must-read-article!

- A wonderful adjustment from my always kind and upbeat chiropractor, Kaycie. "Sit in the chair and lean your head towards your right shoulder" she said. She then gave my head a gentle push and "Pop-pop-pop!" went my cervical vertebrae. The relief was tremendous. I get a weekly adjustment at Abundant Life Chiropractic; I pop, they rock!

- A lot of quiet reading, some of it prayerful. This included a report on the concept of "Just War" (careful! this is "wonkish" as Paul Krugman sometimes says on his blog) from the Theology Committee of the House of Bishops of ECUSA. Anywway, I've probably become a die-hard pacifist (mmh? contradiction in terms here?) because I'm not buying the concept of Just War in any shape. It made me think of an article my Dad wrote last year on "si vis pacem, para pacem" (latin for "if you want peace, prepare for peace"). I prefer that idea; let's put our thinking hats on and mobilize our resources for deeper, wider, fairer development. Unfortunately, succinctness is not his forte (at 12 pages) and it's in French. But just in case you ask, you'll find it here. I'm so proud of my Dad...

- Great progress on a triangular shawl I'm crocheting for my dear friend Elizabeth. It's made of two mohair yarns that I work together in scallops of 4 double crochets. And many thanks again to my Shalem prayer buddy Suzie who gave me the yarn when I was in DC.

Thank you dear God for having caught up with me and nudged me into monkdom! It may be working, you know...?

Amsterdam Bikes - Originally uploaded by Tom Elowsson

Isn't Europe nice? ;-)

Gratitude List - Warning! This might lead to dancing...

2009-05-04T19:33:00.005-05:00

Just for the sheer pleasure of it, on this my sabbath day, I want to share with you two dances from British Olympic champions Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean. The two videos are from 1994 when I discovered these athletic artists. They frame my gratitude list for today.

Dear Lord,

I thank you for:

- the sweet smell and harmonious beauty of a sprig of lilac and 3 pink tulips I picked for the prayer spot in my cell. They'll keep me company for our 3 day silent quarterly community retreat which starts tonight.

- the emotion and spontaneous prayer that overcame me as I read in J. David Muyskens's book on Centering Prayer:

In Numbers another word describes the close relationship between Moses and God, the word peh. God communicated with Moses peh el peh, "mouth to mouth" (12:8). God related to Moses, not through the visions and dreams often given to prophets but in intimate communion.

This is usually prudishly translated "face to face" but "face" is a metonymy for "mouth".

- watching the third episode of a Spanish miniseries on St Teresa of Avila. Her life is an inspiration and an encouragement for perseverance through the difficulties of the religious life.

- conversing at length with my friend Bruno. We know each other since we were 8 years old and our friendship is still deepening. Not bad for a 40 year old friendship.

- enjoying my pruning shears with abandon in the gardens this morning - which reminds me of my beloved Mom - and marveling at how all that could be considered trash is actually useful fodder for our composters.

- hankering for the grace of Torvill and Dean's ice dancing and finding two beautiful numbers I remember watching live with my then-partner who was rooting for his countrymen in the European championship and Olympics.

Thank you, Beloved, for it all!